This week, the stench of testosterone is long gone! The only fragrance permeating this air is flowery and feminine...even farts smell like flowers! So take your time and soak it in....
1. Is it okay for a guy to care about his appearance more than you care about yours?
Angrygirl: Does this mean he would enjoy shopping with me? Does this mean he takes longer than me to get ready? Does it actually result in him looking good? Depending on the answers to those questions, it could either be a bonus or a nuisance.
Kim: ok so i have to do the following: hair, nails, eyelids, lashes, eyebrows, skin, earrings, other jewelry, match shoes and purse (it's totally unfair, by the way, that we have these teeny weeny pockets), put on skin/face lotion, perfume... does that answer the question? it would be weird if he were PLAGUED by caring about his appearance as i am by caring about mine.
Minphil: That's not hard to do, so yes. I appreciate a guy who is willing to put in some effort. The sloppy look isn't as cute as you think it is.
Coco: I guess it depends on the girl.. my wardrobe now consists solely of light blue scrubs that are about 2 sizes too big yet several inches too short, so I care much less these days. My husband fondly refers to me as the "blue box," and apparently I look like I belong in a TLC video (waterfalls). I think it's nice when a guy cares enough to dress up on occasion. Any extended looks in the mirror are a bit questionable.
Treehugger: I guess it's okay, depending on how much more. Like if the guy is always checking himself out, freaking out if his hair doesn't look good or his clothes don't look right, I wouldn't be into him. If that's where he gets his confidence, that's a nono. It's okay though I think if a guy cares that he doesn't look like a total mess.
2. Is chivalry dead? (Bonus: What is the meanest thing a guy has done to you?)
Angrygirl: It's not dead but it's an endangered species whose appearance is all the more treasured because it's relatively rare. For every modern-day chivalrous knight, there's a guy who thinks of women as living, breathing sex toys solely for his pleasure and use.
(Meanest thing a guy has done to me: pretend he didn't know who I was despite the fact that we had had 5+ introductions and about 283 mutual friends. I don't really buy the whole *sheepish laughter* "oh yeah, we HAVE met before..." after a while. Also nice bonus was the whole eye-averting when we would bump into each other on the street. Is it really that difficult to say a two letter, one syllable greeting? To this day just thinking about it gets me annoyed....)
Kim: story: my mom and i went to the bank together a few months ago, and as we walked towards the door, we saw a father and his ~10 year old son going in. although we were pretty far behind them, the dad saw us and motioned to his son, who held the door until we got there! in other words, yes i like it when guys hold doors/call me/initiate a dtr/open the car door/carry something that's too heavy for me, and yes i think the feminists ruined everything. (oh, and the meanest thing a guy has ever done=dumping me)
Minphil: Defined as "the sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, including courtesy, generosity, valor, and dexterity in arms," I'd have to say yes, if only because of the dexterity in arms requirement. That's the clincher.
(Bonus: Nicknamed me Polyps.)
Coco: I think chivalry is still alive, though it manifests itself through different actions than in the past. A guy doesn't need to open my car door on every occasion in order to be chivalrous. I think chivalry means treating women with respect, honesty and kindness.
(Meanest thing I guy has done to be: Led me to believe he was really interested/"in love" with me, when his true preference was for members of the opposite sex. I wasted many high school days worrying about our relationship. Perhaps this was my fault, though... )
Treehugger: By this question, do you mean, it has died, and men aren't chivalrous anymore? Or do you mean, chivalry is dead as it's a thing of the past and doesn't go well with our modern feminist sensibilities? Well, either way, I think no, chivalry is not dead. Chivalry out of respect for women and not an idea that women are somehow less capable or weaker than men is a great thing. On that note, I think a lot of men are still chivalrous now maybe with a better attitude behind it. Some others, maybe not so much.
3. Is it okay for a girl to "wear the pants" in the relationship?
Angrygirl: Girls look good in pants. (Interpret as you wish)
Kim: no. crazy feminists.
Minphil: Each person in a relationship brings strengths that should be acknowledged and benefited from...it shouldn't be about domination, hierarchy, or control but rather a balanced partnership that draws on the gifts of both people.
Coco: Sometimes, when appropriate.. Question: when a guy chooses to cook dinner, do laundry or wash dishes, does it mean that he is "wearing the skirt"??
Treehugger: Hmm, I've never really liked this phrase "wear the pants." Neither one should be domineering the other. When it comes to big decisions though, I'd say the girl shouldn't "wear the pants". In decision-making two people in a relationship won't always agree, but eventually someone will have to make a decision and the other will have to submit to that. Otherwise they'll just end up at a stalemate and nothing'll be done. Ephesians 5:22 clearly says for wives to submit to their husbands. Still men should love their wives as Christ loved the church, so their decision should be made out of love for the girl, and the girl would wear the pants in that way.
4. Finish this statement: I hate it when guys....
Angrygirl: Try too hard. It's usually apparent and kind of tragic.. even if you're weird, can't you just do what's natural to you? Don't try to be someone based on what you think girls want or some TV show character you admire, it's very obviously artificial.
Kim: ...show off by being loud and vulgar ...ignore me when i'm asking a question or trying to get a laugh.
Minphil: I hate it when guys...ignorantly attribute a woman's emotions to PMS in order to delegitimize what she's saying or how she feels.
Coco: Try to USE girls, especially when related to their immigration status. I know your secret.. it's all a big scheme to get a green card :)
Treehugger: I hate it when guys complain about PMS and blame a girl's behavior on PMS when many men clearly show symptoms of PMS all-year round. BUT Their PMS doesn't have any useful biological contribution to human reproduction.
5. Finish this statement: I love it when guys....
Angrygirl: Pursue passionate interests. By interests, I do not mean girls. I mean things ranging from hobbies (e.g., playing guitar, basketball) to causes (e.g., social justice, international economic development). It shows selflessness and a rounded character, and I like that they're using their potential for something that's not wholly self-serving.
Kim: ...are intelligent ...are candid and humble ...are gentle in their words and actions
Minphil: I love it when guys...give good hugs.
Coco: Make me laugh. I think it's important for a fulfilled and happy life.
Treehugger: I love it when guys are passionate about God, pursue Him with abandon, are compassionate towards the weak and lost, and live with conviction about who they are in God and what they are doing as opposed to dilly dallying through life.
About the Panelists:
Angrygirl is a DC yuppie who occasionally wears pants. (Interpret as you wish). / Kim has a huge crush on soterios johnson from npr. she likes watching ke$ha interviews and action movies. even her mom asks her for relationship advice, so she must know something. / Minphil, for the record, doesn't want to battle. Cupcakes and laughter preferred. / Coco is an old friend of Miller's who once declared that he was her "entertainment." She now spends her days celebrating the joy of bringing new life into the world. / Treehugger likes hugging trees because they're like hugging big people.
