7/29 Friday Friendzone: End-of-Life Edition

This week's topic is a bit morbid, but incredibly thought-provoking.  It was so intriguing that I have invite 8 of my friends into my friendzone this week AND...for the first time ever, I will also include my answers to the questions!  So without further ado, here we go:


1. What age would you like to live until? Why?
Scottyi: Until tomorrow. Jk, but only slightly. I think the only wish I have concerning the timing of my death is that I'd like it to be after my parents pass away. I think losing your child has to be the worst kind of suffering. Other than that... whatevs. I'm a believer in Philippians 1:23. Miller, if it does happen soon, you can have my rice cooker.
Lily: 90 or so.  But I want to be one of the 'young old,' not the 'old old.'  Those are actual terms in development psychology classes!
Georgea: If I had to choose...If I have kids, I'd rather die older - at least old enough to see grandkids 'cause it'll be fun to see how two generations down are.  If not, no preference - whenever my work is done.
thetotoromonster: old enough so that it's not "a pity" that i died (at least 50-60?). my parents invested so many resources into me while i was growing up; now, i want to make the most of their investment and die after i have done something useful in my life!!
Joses: 64. That means I will die in the year 2046. Which happens to be a good film.
Annamelon: 91.  I actually don't wanna live that long, but I feel like I'm limiting my potential if I were to say I wanna die in my 80s, although I really think 87 sounds like a good age.  But really, I think it'd be fun to know my great-grandkiddos :)
Jimmy: 90s.  I want to be active throughout my life, so I can still be able to contribute to people mentally and emotionally in my final years. Also, It would be cool to hang out with my Great-Grandchildren.  Plus, I would totally love to play "old guy" a lot (pretend to forget things, wander into places and act confused.  Who said old age isn't fun?).
Angrygirl: What a morbid question. Honestly, I'm still getting over turning 23, which seems pretty old.
Miller: 75. It gives me enough time to probably see at least one grandchild even if my granddaughter or grandson's wife chooses to be a career woman.  Not sure if senior discounts kick in at 65 or 70, but 5-10 years of doing things cheaply sounds good enough.

2. What would be your preferred cause of death? Why?
Scottyi: Mortally wounded while rescuing sex slaves from a unit of fully armed traffickers, with enough evidence gathered after my demise to eventually lead to the toppling of a trafficking empire.
Lily: I wish to die in battle.  For honor!
Georgea: Not anything sudden (like a heart attack, car crash, murder etc.); something my family could come to terms with gradually?  But it's not up to me, right?
thetotoromonster: in my sleep because it sounds peaceful. unfortunately, it's not so peaceful for the people who find me!!! >:D wow, especially if i live alone and it takes a few days to find my rotting body. gross.
Joses: Gunshot to the hippocampus. Death is instant and painless. Since that would mean that someone will have to commit murder, or that I will have to commit suicide, I'll settle for dying in my sleep.
Annamelon: Saving a small child from an oncoming bus.  Useful & instantaneous.
Jimmy: Ideally...I'm single (not my whole life) and decently fit when the end comes.  I would get some sort of disease that wouldn't be treatable.  I'd hitch a ride out to the rockies, and just head into the mountains and wander until it's my time.
Angrygirl: Isn't everybody just going to say "in my sleep, because it's painless"? A small part of me wonders if I'd want to die in a meaningful way (i.e., somehow bring attention to Christianity) but a larger part of me fears what that could look like.
Miller: Executed for being a Christian....but honestly, I'm holding out for the rapture....so I'd like my obituary to say I "mysteriously vanished" and my clothing fell into a nice neat pile.

3. If money were no object, what would you want your last meal to be?
Scottyi: When I was a kid, there were a couple pharmacies that used to sell these pieces of gum shaped like bright rocks. They were packed in miniature milk cartons, and you'd open the cartons and shake the gum into your mouth. I once went online to try to find what the candy was called, but I never could. It'd be nice to have that again. Also, a dozen carnival elephant ears.
Lily: Some famous person was once asked what he would do if he knew it was his last day on earth.  He said I would work in my garden.  I think I'd do the same; therefore, I want my last meal to be a salad.
Georgea: The real mama kim's (my mama) cooking.  Something that involves kimchi.
thetotoromonster: well, then... this would be really strange because it would mean that i would be able to anticipate the hour of my death, like Jesus (who could also anticipate his resurrection - what foresight!)!  i don't know.  i think this question doesn't make sense in my head because i'm not Christ-like enough in the area of foresight-of-hour-of-death.
Joses: 10 course Chinese wedding dinner.
Annamelon: Appetizer of fried calamari.  Main entree(s) would consist of pad thai w/ extra peanuts, legit Mexican tacos al pastor, sushi (maybe some spider rolls or dragon rolls), and eggplant parmesan.  Dessert would start with tiramisu cheesecake and end with some juicy, plump red mangoes.  Oh, and this would all be accompanied by some mango mojitos b/c I love alcoholic drinks that taste like fruity toothpaste.
Jimmy: Seafood feast.  Since my fish allergy has progressed over time, I haven't eaten seafood in 11 years.  Lobster, Crab Cakes, peel-and-eat Shrimp, Clam Chowder.  YES.
Angrygirl: I guess I'd want to eat things I grew up with-- a bowl of white rice, my mom's tomato ox-tail soup, bowl of nikujaga (Japanese dish w/ carrots, potatoes, and beef), and a bowl of fruit (specifically raspberries, blackberries, mangoes, nectarines, pineapples, and watermelon). Drink would be some unsweetened iced tea.
Miller: I'm gonna hafta say Brazilian BBQ in Mainland China...to ensure that it would have Peking Duck and meats that white men do not touch.

4. Assuming that you're married, would you rather outlive your spouse or your spouse outlive you? 
Scottyi: My wife should definitely be the first to go. I'd be strong enough and courageous enough to make peace with my loss in the twilight of my years, but for my lover, she'd be so incredibly distraught at my passing that she'd lose the will to live, unable to cease from her grieving and instead becoming a real life Miss Havisham. (One of the few literary references I know you know, Miller)
Lily: I guess I'd rather my spouse outlived me... but that would be difficult since I'm very healthy and probably going to live for so long.
Georgea: Depends.  If I die young, be outlived; if I die old, outlive.
thetotoromonster: i would rather outlive my spouse so i can be bear the burden of grieving and so i can take care of him until the very end.  also, i love telling stories! if i outlive my spouse, he can count on his remembrance via my story-telling abilities!
Joses: Outlive me? I thought my wife gets interred with me in my pyramid, along with my children, cats, and those who read this blog.
Annamelon: Selfishly, I would want my spouse to outlive me.  I'm pretty needy and probably wouldn't know how to get by without him.
Jimmy: Outlive my spouse.  I would rather I go through the pain of that loss instead of her.
Angrygirl: If I'm being selfish, I would want my spouse to outlive me. HOWEVER, if my spouse is someone who seems really helpless on his own (e.g., can't take care of finances, can't cook for beans, can't take loneliness) then.. it might be comforting to outlive him if only because I'd know he didn't die in pathetic circumstances. If I felt lonely I could go buy a dog/cat, or bother my kids/grandkids, and in general be a sassy old person who doesn't take attitude from anybody.
Miller: Hmmm...I think if I outlived my wife, I'd be a wreck and be totally nonfunctional for at least a year.  So, while I wish I could say the opposite, I'd rather my wife outlive me.  Plus, I absolutely cannot stand eating alone.  It drives me crazy, I just can't eat.

5. What do you want on your tombstone (not pizza)?
Scottyi: I want to be cremated, and while everyone is enjoying the truffle carpaccio hor d'oeurvres at my wake, a video will play of me posthumously telling everyone that they've been punked, as there's nothing in the urn since my ashes were mixed into the truffle sauce. If I had to have a tombstone for the purposes of this question, I'd want my tombstone to be a marble statue of an astronaut wrestling a giant space squid, and underneath it says, "Here lies Scottyi, Hero of the 2nd Moon Monster Wars."
Lily: Definitely T. S. Eliot.  The greatest writer of our age.

We shall not cease from explorationAnd the end of all our exploringWill be to arrive where we startedAnd know the place for the first time.A condition of complete simplicity(Costing not less than everything)And all shall be well andAll manner of thing shall be wellWhen the tongues of flame are in-foldedInto the crowned knot of fireAnd the fire and the rose are one.

Georgea:  I don't know if I want to be buried.  Cremation?
thetotoromonster: i want it to be prominent so that my descendants will never forget where i'm buried!! i never knew how my mom remembered where my great-aunt was buried.  i haven't really thought far enough to decide what's on my tombstone.  i'll probably pull a J.K. Rowling and have a well-chosen Bible verse.  kinda makes me sad to think about it, but now it's on my to-do list (just in case).
Joses: My sarcophagus in my pyramid should have hieroglyphics around it depicting my various achievements, like when I completed Sonic the Hedgehog II.
Annamelon: I haven't decided if I want a tombstone.  I would like to be cremated and spend as little money on my funeral as possible, since really, it seems like it'd make more sense to spend money on other people who are still living.  But I guess a small tombstone would be nice so that loved ones could visit it?  If I actually did have a tombstone, maybe something to the effect of "Beloved child of God"
Jimmy: "Loving Son, Brother, Husband, Father, and Friend.  Loved by God." or "He lived, he loved, he dominated."
Angrygirl: I haven't done anything amazing (yet?) to warrant a shoutout on my tombstone. I guess I'd want to highlight my family and that I was (hopefully) a faithful believer. On my Tombstone brand pizza I would like pepperoni, mushrooms, and peppers, please.
Miller: "Shared the Gos-pel like it was Gos-sip"....okay maybe not that.  I prefer something like "Miller passionately believed that there was nothing more important in life than to follow God and help others follow God."

It's a good thing I probably won't be remembered most for blogging, otherwise my tombstone might read: "Miller outlived 50 different blogs that he could only maintain for a few weeks at a time.  His greatest blog, the Daily Millings, died on 7/29/2011 after a great two month run."  Yes, that last line is for real.  The Daily Millings are now dead.  All donations should be made out to the Mormon YouTube Channel and ChristianMingle.com.  Feel free to give a eulogy in the comments section below.

About the Panelists: If you strike Scottyi down, he shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine. His website is www.sacredraisincakes.com. / Lily is an INTJ who prefers the library to every other building on campus.  She likes puzzles, classical music, and chess.  Her favorite thing to do online is stalk people on facebook and fill out her google calendar. / Georgea is a student at Brown. / thetotoromonster - is she prepared for heaven and death? we'll let God decide. *dun dun dun* / Joses turns 27 very soon. He tweets at www.twitter.com/jacuzzijo. / Annamelon wants her funeral to be a big party where everyone wears bright colors, eats great food, laughs gregariously, and celebrates how awesome Jesus is, because she's gonna be upstairs kickin' it with the Big Guy. / Jimmy believes in life after love, and love after life. (and is still on his road trip) / Angrygirl laments the death of Daily Millings. / Miller totally thought this would be the most clever way to announce the death of the Daily Millings.  He would like to thank all his loyal readers for their support 2 months out of every 3 years!!!

Tombstone of the Daily Millings: "Some say life is a marathon...BUT a sprint is almost always more entertaining."

7/25 Monday MillBox

Q: If you could be someone else for a day (ala The Change-Up movie with Jason Bateman and Ryan Reynolds), who would you be? (Person must be alive on Earth so don't try to be holy and say "Jesus.") -- my girlfriend
A: First off, thank you for the anti-holy disclaimer...it saves me in case someone out there criticizes me for not picking Jesus.  I do, though, feel some sort of obligation to pick someone who isn't totally morally bankrupt.  I'm going to have to go with the modern day Reggie Miller: Ray Allen.  I'd get the chance to be on the Boston Celtics and compete for a title...and make $10 million for shooting 3's.  I'd even have the stroke to force the Celtics television network to give my wife a cooking show she doesn't deserve!  (...but because of the current NBA lockout, I might not want to use up my day on a labor dispute....so I retain the right to change my answer to current WWE champion but former WWE employee CM Punk).

Q: Which superhero (from any comic or cartoon) do you think could defeat Jean Grey from X-men (pre-Phoenix but post-being able to harness her powers)? -- my girlfriend
A: My best answer: Cyclops.  With an optic blast, you say?  No way, his true power is boring you to death.


Q: Are chinese accent jokes too racist for this blog? -- Tim H
A: Since I don't like the double standards of racism such as how the "N-word" is acceptable to use if you're black...I'm gonna say that Chinese accent jokes are not too racist for this blog.  BUT, I will judge them by merit...any Chinese accent joke must be inherently funny and creative.  When it comes to Chinese accent jokes, I'm gonna be a Tiger Mom; an A- is deserving of  punishment.

Q: Should I get a Cru cut? Should we avoid CRUde language? Is the Ivy conference all about reCRUitment? Does Stevey D Douglas have crupies? How does "crucifiction is cruel, but cru is cool" rate as a slogan? Bah, too many to make, I better go recruperate. -- Tim H
A: In order: Yes, it eliminates the need for combs and hairdryers.  Definitely avoid swearing...but if you consider talking about poop to be crude, then no.  Yes.  YES, I can't believe I shook his hand and had a 20 second conversation with him (btw...Stevie D is the President of CRU...which sounds less impressive than being President of Campus Crusade for Christ, Intl.)!  Terrible slogan.


Q: The "daily" component of dailymillings has been a bit inconsistent as of late. Are we approaching that turning point of losing interest? -- Yufu
A: Perhaps, it's time to start a "Save Our Millings" telethon...complete with old white guy holding African baby.


Q: Who would you rather have as a brother-in-law (i.e. this guy will be marrying Kathryn): 
(A) Joshua Harris ("I Kissed Dating Goodbye," "Boy Meets Girl", and the upcoming release "Boy Kissed Boy");
(B) Yaw Darkwa (soon-to-be NYS licensed attorney);
(C) Glen Davis AKA Big Baby (cried when KG yelled at him); or
(D) Mr. James R. Tull (who grows a great beard)

--Yufu

A: Option A is eliminated because he's married.  Option B is out because he's the type of person who laughs at bestiality so much that there's such a thing as "Yaw's bestiality laugh" in common vernacular.  Option C is an interesting choice...depending on whether he signs with the Celtics this year or not.  But Option D is the most solid option....only person to have ever won 2 MillStar Awards...impressive.
Q: Now that Yao Ming has formally announced his retirement from the NBA, is Jeremy Lin going to be our next great Asian hope? He's Taiwanese (the best kind of Asian), FYI. --Yufu

A: Nope, Jeremy Lin is gonna be a career bench player at best...which means that Yi Jianlian is sadly the best Asian basketball player in the world.  Years ago, we all thought that Yao Ming was only the first of many Chinese breeding projects that would dominate the NBA...well, we were wrong.  Asians have only regressed since rumors of Yao's retirement.  See: Catherine Kieu Becker.  Bad news until penis removal becomes an Olympic sport.

7/22 Friday Friendzone: (One) Word Association Edition

Hi.


1. What do you think of Google PLUS?

Scottyi: arriviste
thetotoromonster: Unknown :( (Nobody invited me!!)
Joses: Meh.
Angrygirl: Boring
(Y)MC: Useless

2. What do you think of women pastors?
Scottyi: qualifications...
thetotoromonster: Unknown :( (Raised Catholic and Ren doesn't have any!)
Joses: Acceptable.
Angrygirl: Maybe
(Y)MC: Interesting

3. What do you think of professional wrestling?
Scottyi: schadenfraude
thetotoromonster: Miller :(
Joses: Greasy.
Angrygirl: Sweaty (Smelly was a runner up)
(Y)MC: Staged

4. Who will be the next president of the United States?
Scottyi: tergiversator
thetotoromonster: Unknown :( (Barely follows politics and doesn't follow politicians)
Joses: Obama.
Angrygirl: 2012 - Obama; 2016 - Pleasesomebodynotassociatedwiththeteaparty
(Y)MC: Palin

5. What do you think of Interracial Relationships?
Scottyi: parents...
thetotoromonster: YoungAsianWomen+OldWhiteMen :(
Joses: Sexy.
Angrygirl: Jarring
(Y)MC: Skewed

About the Panelists: Scottyi is something. / thetotoromonster is a Last-minute-concoction :( / Joses is Fresh. / Angrygirl is milling. / (Y)MC is unhealthy.

7/20 Wednesday Weekly

MillStar of the Week: A MillCredit goes to "Campus Crusade for Christ" for the great run it had before officially changing its name to "Cru" last night.  I am incredibly thankful for how God has used this organization to draw many college students closer to him (myself included).  I always liked how "Campus Crusade for Christ" was a really overtly honest name to define what we were trying to do.  It was edgy and said "this is what I'm gonna do....I'm gonna tell people on my campus about Jesus Christ...that's my crusade."  But now...what am I supposed to do with a name like "Cru"?  Am I supposed to say "I did Cru in college" and then explain that I wasn't the coxen?

As of right now, I'm not liking the name change...but I wanna see if it actually improves anything before I give it a MillDud...

Another Asian Girl MillDud?

MillDud of the Week: This week's MillDud goes to Rupert Murdoch's wife, Wendi Deng Murdoch.  While on the surface, it seems like she was the quickest one to defend Rupert after he got the ol' pie in the face....further research demonstrates that this act of heroism must be taken with a grain of salt.  You see...Wendi Deng was born in mainland China...moved to the USA with a student Visa and lived with a host family.  She had an affair with her host father's father...and married him to stay in the USA.  THEN after 3 years of marriage, her host grandpa divorces her when he finds out she's been cheating on him with some other dude!  Fast forward a few years, Wendi Deng is working for a Murdoch company in a Hong Kong branch...and right after Murdoch gets a divorce, he marries his employee Wendi Deng!  (btw...he's 80 something and she's 40 something.)  If her history doesn't scream "we want pre-nup, we want pre-nup," I'm not sure what does!

I wouldn't put it past her to have staged yesterday's heroic act to gain his favor...or to gain international fame....but I'm not the type to slander, am I?

Nice Burberry Bucket Hat, Ja.

MillBoard Charts Song of the Week: In honor of the terrible week that JaRule and JLo just had, lemme cheer them up by giving them a meaningless award!!!  In case you wanna know, JaRule went to prison for tax evasion...and even worse...he went to jail in NEW JERSEY!!!  As for Jenny from the Block, her marriage to Marc Anthony has ended....I never understood why she married him in the first place...because he seemed too authentic Latin for someone who had just been in serious relationships with Ben Affleck and Puff Daddy.  Nonetheless, this week's song of the week goes to "I'm Real" by Jennifer Lopez and JaRule.

7/18 Monday MillBox

Tons of questions today, so let's get started...


Q: If all the Teddy Ruxpins in the world revolted and tried to take over, could Manny Pacquiao stop them? -- Tim H
A: No.  Simply No.  Eventually Manny Paq's fists would be worn down by the cassette tape players.  But I like this concept for a movie.  Perhaps... iRobot 2 starring Manny Pacquiao in the Will Smith role battling all the Teddy Ruxpins.

Q: If you crossed Teddy Ruxpin with Manny Pacquiao, would you get an evil genius teddy bear with phenomenal boxing skill who would proceed to take over the world and make everyone read him bedtime stories, or would you get Chewbacca? -- Tim H
A: I would hope for the first option.


Q: WHY do you use so many ellipses?! -- my girlfriend
A: I think it gives the reader...the most accurate pacing for what it would be like...to sit through a real conversation with me.  If it bothers you, stop trying to read so fast and just enjoy my company.


Q: what would be the best way to let everyone know that I'm pregnant? (FYI-- I'm not yet as of now but this is for future references.) -- Yufu
A: I would want you to give me an STD...you know a "save the date"...just like you mailed me one for your wedding.  BUT I think I'd also appreciate a phone call with you proclaiming "I Did It!"  or a text with a composite photo of you and your wife just to preview your super-race babies.


Q: what is the best way to cope with the recent onset of heat waves across the United States of America? -- Yufu
A: Buy tons of ice cream, dump them in an empty room, and swim in your new ice cream pool like Scrooge McDuck would swim in golden coins.  It would probably ruffle less tailfeathers than gold.  How did he do that anyway?  Also, you should remove all the clothing than you possibly can without crossing any legal or moral boundaries...see Friday Friendzone Summer Edition for what may or may not be acceptable summer attire.

Q: besides abstinence and other man-made devices, what are some of the best "natural" or "holistic" way to minimize the risk of unwanted pregnancy? Note-- the use of the Gregorian calendar doesn't count as an alternative approach. --Yufu
A: Are you just trying to get me to advocate belly-button sex?  I won't take your bait.

Q: if you had to be stuck on an island and reconstitute the human race with someone, would you rather choose Oprah Winfrey, Whoopi Goldberg, or Queen Latifah? -- Yufu

A: Oprah's on my all-Anti-Christ Team so that rules her out.  Plus, a name like Goldberg imposes a fear upon me that my male offspring will need to undergo painful foreskin removal procedures.  Also, Whoopi has no eyebrows...we would look ridiculous next to each other due to eyebrow thickness disparity.  What if eyebrow thickness is a highly evolved trait that Whoopi would just dilute for my potentially new human race?  By default, I must say Queen Latifah...does that mean I would become a royal?

Q: so I've been doing a ton of sanding recently, and I'm kind of near the end of having semi-clean but always colorful underwear to put on. Which would you recommend-- forego underwear entirely, flip them inside out, or just find some paper bag or cling wrap to put on until laundry is done? -- Yufu

A: Flipping is less than optimal.  Paper bag will probably lead to chafing.  I say forego it.

Q: Also... My phone doesn't seem to like it when I type "Yufu"... It keeps autocorrecting to "Yugu"... Which sounds and looks totally stupid... Why does my phone do that...? (That's another Millbox question there...)... -- Yufu

A: The answer is quite simple.  Your phone is racist and wants you to take on a slave name like "Michael."  But fight the power, Yufu.  Don't let the man and his autocorrect hold you down.

Q: With regards to your recent mentioning of a certain man's private part getting cut off by one angry wife in California, what "state" should the private part be at in order to yield a good, clean cut? ("State" is not in reference to geography, but rather it is to vasoconstriction and/or vasodilation.) - Anonymous
A: If it's all about a good clean cut, I'd probably say erect is the preferred state.  But I would hope that if one was having their penis sawed off, he would not have an erection at the same time.  Too strange...and perhaps too vulgar to go into further detail on this blog.


Thanks for all the questions...peace out, homies.

7/15 Friday Friendzone: Flirty Edition

1. Are you a flirt?
Joses: Yes.
Annamelon: So I've been told.  But I'm not really trying.  When I was younger, I think I was just naively over-friendly.  Now, I think I'm just sassy.
Angrygirl: I don't try to be but I think sometimes my friendliness can be interpreted as flirting...
Kim: complicated question, but the simple answer is no.  however, i have been known to flirt a lot with guys i'm dating.  plus those lighthearted, delightful guys for whom flirtation as their way of communicating and who don't put too much stock in it.
Scottyi: Nah, I wouldn't describe myself as flirtatious.  I do like to tease people, though.  I think there's a difference--flirting at its root is complementary to the other person, such as giving someone an excessive amount of attention or laughter--while teasing seems to me to be a nicer way to say something critical.  Of course there's also a difference between teasing someone and being a tease: the latter is definitely a form of flirtation while the former isn't.

2. What is your favorite method of flirtation?
Joses: I will not reveal my secret tricks here. I will say, however, that I believe in leaving the interested party in the D.U.S.T. -> Deliberately Unresolved Sexual Tension.
Annamelon: I don't typically flirt intentionally ... so I donno ... I guess my favorite is the natural, nonchalant way ?!  Or I guess what people usually misinterpret for flirting is when I compliment them for how amazing they are in some way (some skill - like being able to hold a very hot pizza pan w/ bare hands, or some physical aspect - like nice hair, some interest they're pursuing - like how cool DJing is) ... so maybe that's a good one?!
Angrygirl: Teasing/making fun of the person. Actually, I kinda do this to most people. It's funny and it usually gives me a good gauge of someone's personality and whether they can take stuff like that. Sometimes I punch people to show my affection for them. ... :D
Kim: talking... texting... mindgames... feigning anger... playful push... making my adorable innocent faces...
Scottyi: Writing messages to each other.  I guess the easiest way to do this is by text; it can be cute when you're in the same room together and you're trying to keep other people from noticing.  But I also love the physicality of just handing a sheet of paper back and forth with scribbles on it.  I like writing down really corny lines such as... "Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?"  Gets 'em every time! ;p

3. Should flirting be limited to just the people you might have genuine romantic interest in?
Joses: No. Why else do we call it flirting?
Annamelon: Nah, at least not the kind of "flirting" I do.  I think you should definitely flirt with your servers at restaurants.  You'll prolly get better service, and you brighten their day :)  Hm, or maybe the opposite is true ... if you're a server, you should flirt with your customers so that you brighten their day, and get a bigger tip!  But if you're actually flirting in the I-think-you're-super-cute-and-super-amazing-and-totally-want-to-go-on-a-date-with-you way, then yes ... limit it to only the person you actually wanna go on a date with.  Duh.
Angrygirl: I used to think so. However I know someone (cough Miller cough) who flirts with waitresses (AND WAITERS) to get good customer service or discounts. I have begun using this ploy but only in selected circumstances.
Kim: flirting is a continuum - there's a range between friendly and flirty.  i might venture over into the more flirtatious side if the guy i'm talking to also interacts with the opposite sex in a flirty way just for fun.  as long as it's all in good fun and there's no misunderstanding.
Scottyi: Why would you flirt with someone whose affection you don't want?!  This confuses me greatly.  The only answer that comes to mind is if you're someone with low self-esteem and you desperately want people to like you--in which case it begins to make a ton of sense why girls would teach other how to play mind games.  That being said, I think you can have "genuine romantic interest" in a girl you're meeting for the first time and you want to put yourself out there, which leads me to think it's ok to flirt in a social situation where you're trying to make a good first impression.

4. Is there such a thing as over-flirting?
Joses: In theory, no. Because even if your over-flirting makes you look desperate and unattractive to your target, there's a way to turn it around... with some time and patience. In practice, of course, you want to avoid this.
Annamelon: If you're batting your eyelashes and giggling incessantly ... it's too much.  Or if you're complimenting the person and they clearly look uncomfortable and are trying their very best not to run away from you ... yah, it's prolly too much.
Angrygirl: Yeah. Most people feel awesome when someone flirts with them until they discover that the person is a serial flirter. Then it just becomes meaningless, sort of like the boy who cried wolf except less dangerous and sad.
Kim: definitely.  some people are just too obvious.  it's supposed to be subtle.
Scottyi: Emphatically yes.  I've met lots of people who over-flirt because they don't know how naturally flirtatious they actually are--these are usually very friendly / talkative / expressive / bubbly personalities who are only trying to be nice.  Well, to them I say it's your burden to carefully watch yourself and make sure you keep good boundaries with the opposite sex, or else there's a point where you're just trying to be a tease.  I've seen it happen so many times, when someone misreads an over-flirtist's friendliness and ends up getting burned.  Only YOU can prevent flirtist fires.

5. Are there any modes of flirtation that are a dead giveaway that the flirter really likes the flirtee?
Joses: The long-form flirt is such an example.  What is the long-form flirt? Basically, it's a teasing line that builds upon prior context and contact with the flirtee. Example --> Girl: "Hey, Guy, you've got a nice necktie on. Baby blue, my favorite color." Guy: "Thanks, I try to color match my boxers and my ties." Cheeky wink from Guy.
Two days later, Girl saunters up to Guy and asks, "So, were those boxers you were wearing the other day, were they really blue?"
Annamelon: No.  Boys should just come out straight and say what they're thinking, ie: "I think you're great.  Can I take you out to dinner sometime?"  Although, those cheesy pick-up lines are often a good indicator of interest, ie: (looking at your shirt's tag) "Oh, just like I thought ... made in Heaven."  Sadly, I think I could really fall for one of those cheesy pick-up lines.
Angrygirl: Modes of flirtation? What is this, love languages? What matters more is how much attention you're getting relative to others, not what kind of "mode of flirtation" the person is using.
Kim: giggling too much... paying attention only to that one person... acting completely out of character... looking at the person too much...
Scottyi: I have a lady friend who used to tell me all the time about how lonely she gets and how she wants to be in a relationship and how marriage is always on her mind.  I thought this was a signal that she was open to pursuing something, but as it turns out she'd rather be lonely than share my company.  So... if there's any dead giveaways, I certainly wouldn't know what they are!!

About the Panelists: Joses thought you might be trying to catch his eye from across the room. He tweets at www.twitter.com/jacuzzijo. / Annamelon has days where she accepts the fact that she is a shameless flirt.  And other days, she adamantly holds to the belief that she is simply a social, engaging, friendly person. / Angrygirl, in her young childhood days, used to think flirting was a move in hula dancing. / Kim has a huge crush on soterios johnson from npr.  she likes watching ke$ha interviews and action movies.  even her mom asks her for relationship advice, so she must know something. / Scottyi doesn't have any moves.  That's why he's horrible at flirting, basketball, and chess.  This sad creature's website is www.sacredraisincakes.com.

7/13 Wednesday Weekly

MillStar of the Week: As promised, MillCredit goes to the winner of the "Tag Miller on Facebook" contest: Jimmy Tull.  Jimmy was able to tag 268 photos of Miller in what seemed like just a few hours.  With this victory, Jimmy becomes the first ever 2-time MillStar Award Winner.  He will also receive a $25 gift certificate to any Restaurant.com Restaurant of his choice!  Maybe I should start a "Make Jimmy Take Me Out To Dinner" contest this week for all the single ladies out there.  (If interested, please leave a brief description of yourself with contact info in the comments section below.)

MillDud of the Week: A gigantic, terrifyingly disgusting MillDud goes to Catherine Kieu Becker, who was arrested yesterday after she cut off her husband's penis and put it into the garbage disposal.  The scariest thing about this story is just how elaborate her plan was:  


Procedure:
1) Obtain drug
2) Cook dinner
3) Put drug into dinner
4) Feed poisoned dinner to husband
5) Convince husband to sleep off his wooziness on the bed
6) Tie up unconscious husband
7) Remove husband's clothes 
8) Sharpen knife
9) WAIT for husband to wake up
10) Cut off husband's penis
11) Put penis into garbage disposal


I would hope that any decent human being would think better of following through with this plan after Steps 1, 3, 4, 6, 8, and 10.  Step 11 is too late for remorse and Step 9 was just cruel.  Ms. Becker puts Lorena Bobbitt to shame!


MillBoard Charts Song of the Week: In honor of the newest trend Google PLUS, I'm going to award the Song of the Week to the best song ever written about PLUS: "U + Me = Us (Calculus)" by 2ge+her!  If you know your calculus, you'll know to PLUS my blog every chance you get!

7/12 Tuesday Milligan

When I was a kid, I played Little League Baseball...

Problem was...no one ever really taught me the rules of baseball...and I never really watched baseball on television....

...so all I did was do whatever my coaches told me to do...when they told me to "wait for my pitch," I didn't swing....when they told me to "give them a little bingo," I'd swing the bat....when it looked like someone on the other team was going to bunt, they told me to take a few steps onto the grass and I obeyed...

But baseball is a game of knowing the situations and thinking fast.  In the midst of all the boredom (especially when playing the outfield)...there are those brief moments when you'll need to know exactly which base to throw to and how many outs there are...but I didn't know any of that...

I remember when I made it to Double A baseball, things were great...except almost all of my friends from school were in Triple A by then...and when I finally got to Triple A, my friends were in the Majors...

Because I had no idea what I was doing, I feared making a single mistake and costing my team a game...and I sure played that way....scared.

If I could go back in time...I would have bought a baseball video game....learned how to play the video game....and then apply it to real life...

I was fairly decent at hitting...except I had a tendency to be scared to swing at what I guessed would be bad pitches.  I was fairly decent at keeping ground balls in front of me...but didn't really know what to do with the ball once I controlled it.  My lack of understanding led to incompetence...

By the spring of 7th grade, I heard my classmates in math class talking about how tryouts for the Babe Ruth Baseball League were coming up soon...but without even a care in the world...I went back to my math problem and my baseball career was over...

BUT, one day, I hope to redeem myself in an old man softball league...

7/11 Monday MillBox: Wordplay

The MillBox was empty this week...so it looks like I'm gonna hafta make up all the "MillBox" questions again...

Q: [Mill-"Box"] Dear Miller, does boxing appeal to you the same way pro wrestling does?

A: Nope...not at all.  My love for pro wrestling is too deeply ingrained.  Pro boxing doesn't offer anywhere near as much drama leading into to the match unless it's really between the 2 most famous boxers of the generation (ie Foreman vs Ali, Tyson vs Holyfield)...but nowadays the only appealing boxing fight would be between Pacquiao and whoever you think is the best American boxer....but everyone's dodging Pacquiao apparently...

As for real boxing, I've took a boxing class a few years back with my girlfriend.  It was actually pretty fun...but probably most fun because I was inside a ring for the first time.  If boxing lessons weren't so expensive, I'd probably do it again....although my inability to jump rope was quite embarrassing...especially since I had probably out-athleted Lisa in everything we had done together up until that point.  Lisa, by the way, is now a regular at her local boxing gym...

Q: [Mill-Bots] What's the creepiest robot of all time?

A: Hands down...it's gotta be Teddy Ruxpin!  For those of you who have never heard of Teddy Ruxpin: imagine a stuffed animal teddy bear that sort of looks like a chipmunk (based on the picture on the right).  Take away all it's cuddle-ability by putting a solid cassette tape player into its belly.  THEN...make it seem like he's reading a story to you by making its mouth move whenever you press the play button!!!  Having had a Teddy Ruxpin as a little kid, I'm shocked that I didn't secretly believe there was a similar cassette tape player inside of me!  I wonder if they make Teddy Ruxpin mp3 players now...in which you plug a usb cord into Teddy's back to sync him...hmmmmm...

Q: [Mill-Boss] Who's the Boss: George Steinbrenner, Bruce Springsteen, or Tony Danza?

A: Technically...Tony Danza was never a boss at all...because on the Sitcom "Who's the Boss?" he was actually sort of a man-nanny for an alpha female boss....BUT...who cares?!? Tony Danza is, in my opinion, THE BOSS!

Q: [Mill-Bach] Do you ever listen to classical music?

A: Pretty much never...unless my dentist forces it upon me...if I ever need music to block out the noise of others...I usually turn to the "piano solo" station on Pandora.  Speaking of Pandora, be sure to check out the 90's Summer Music channel  for much needed nostalgia! (Credit to Annamelon for this discovery.)

Q: [Mill-Blocks] Is it ever okay to stand in the way of another guy's pursuit of a girl (EVEN if you aren't romantically interested in the girl)?

A: I think "Bros before Hoes" is generally a good rule of thumb...but sometimes it's given much more power than it deserves.  Sometimes you gotta break the rule because you just don't think a dating relationship involving these 2 people is a very good idea for one or both of the parties.  Our present culture seems to be very pro-dating, so it's probably good to have people around you who are willing to tell you not to be a bonehead and date someone who you obviously shouldn't marry or whatnot.  Sometimes,  the best way to be a "bro" is to run a little interference so he can't succeed in his pursuit of a certain girl.  You run the risk of them both hating you for what you're doing and them becoming even more motivated to date because of their newfound "Romeo and Juliet" complex.....BUT maybe...just maybe....they'll one day realize how you were just trying to speak some truth into their lives and push them out of the way of an oncoming truck.

7/8 Friday Friendzone: Physical Fitness Edition

1. How often do you exercise? Be Honest!

Shhhh...I hide in Scottyi's mancave.

CSJ: I exercise maybe once a week, but it is usually offset by subsequent unnecessary overeating and powerade binges. 
Lily: Every other day for about 40 minutes + cooldown.  I run a leisurely 4 miles.  Not like last semester when I also did stairs (up to the 7th story) and pushups AND situps.  What happened to me??
Scottyi: Twice a week in my man cave.  And it's a real man cave too, none of that high def entertainment system baloney, it's down in my moldy basement in the boiler room, looking like a hideaway for trolls.  I have a poster of a t-rex.
Annamelon: During the school year, I usually go to the gym 2-3x a week.  Sometimes, 4x.
Joses: I cycle uphill to my lab every week day. About 2 minutes of intense peddling.

2. What's your favorite type of exercise or workout?

CSJ: I love playing basketball on a lowered hoop. There's nothing like reliving the days of real-life NBA Jam with everyone having Scottie Pippen-like stats.

Lily: Running.  Outside only.  I feel bad that I'm paying for that big college gym to be there and not using it, but I hate treadmills and swimming is a pain.
Scottyi: My main routine is bench press, shoulder press, pull ups, and sit ups.  I don't get as much cardio in as I'd like, but when I do my favorite workout would be a game of basketball.  It's not as monotonous as running / biking, and I love that feeling of being bathed in my own sweat, unable to walk with sore legs and huge blisters on my feet.  Trash-talking people bigger than me is also a good time.
Annamelon: Swimming, for sure, although I rarely do since the Brown pool has super random hours.  I usually default to the elliptical. 
Joses: Like all good Chinese men, we follow Bruce Lee's workout regime.
Bruce Lee's "Lethal Physique" Bodybuilding Program (performed on Tues, Thurs and Sat):
Exercise                        Sets       Repetitions
Clean & Press                 2               8
Squats                          2              12
Pullovers    2              8
Bench Presses                2               6
Good Mornings               2               8
Barbell Curls                  2               8

Apparently Bruce did his good mornings with 125 Lbs on the bar. That's what you gotta do to kick Chuck Norris' butt.

3. How will you know when you've reached your desired level of physical fitness?
CSJ: When my clothes rip when I flex, not when I bend over
Lily: I'm happy with where I'm at right now, but I do have a small goal.  I want somewhat toned arms.  Not like, unfeminine, but just a slight bicep when I flex, y'know?
Scottyi: When women stop rejecting me.
Annamelon: When I've got a six-pack (or just rock-hard abs), sexy shins (I have traumatic experiences with shin splints) & enviable calf muscles (sometimes I really wonder if maybe I'm just missing my gastrocnemius or soleus muscles).  Really though, I don't really think I'm in danger of ever "arriving" at my ideal physical fitness - so I shall continue to strive to run a bit further/longer and lift heavier things.
Joses: When just eating one more calorie a day causes my side-abs to disappear under a microlayer of fat.

4. On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being extremely important and 1 being not important at all): To you, how important is the physical fitness of your significant other?
CSJ: 6. It's nice to have a partner when playing sports. Also if she's physically fit, she will most likely live longer. Thus, we can spend more time eating unhealthy, yet delicious food.
Lily: 10.  That doesn't mean the person needs to exercise at a level of ten, it just means that SOME level of fitness, even running 20 minutes 3x a week is VERY important.  I actually don't find super built guys attractive...

Scottyi: To you, how important is the physical fitness of your significant other?

I don't care how often they exercise, as long as they exercise humility.  Oh snap!  Yeah that's right, I turned this question into another opportunity to rant about the double standards of post-feminism.  I bet you twenty bucks that more guys are willing to date below their physical standard, while more women are likely to answer "BOTH" to the question of brains or brawn.  That's because girls have the freedom to choose... while guys have the freedom to initiate awkward conversations asking if you'll date me. 
Annamelon: 7.  I am the first one to admit that I love food - especially food that is "unhealthy," but I try to practice moderation because I think we need to be responsible with the bodies God gave us.  Aside from the principle of stewardship, I would be angry if my hubby died or was incapacitated at age 50 because of conditions he could have avoided - by eating/drinking in moderation, exercising regularly, not smoking, etc.
Joses: I'd have to go with a 4. As long as she can keep up with me and enjoy herself in physical activity.... like a pick-up sport. But she can't be so unfit she can't water 10 camels.
(If you're not familiar with the account of Rebecca in the Jewish Scriptures... Rebecca fills the trough for the camels of Isaac's servant by the well. A camel can drink 30 - 50 gallons of water. 10 camels would drink at least 300 gallons. Which weighs 1140 kg, or 2500 lbs. So Rebecca carried, back-and-forth from the well, the equivalent of 16 grown men, or 1 normal-sized cow. That's pretty fit.) Ref: Genesis 24

5. If you could get a transplant of any body part from another (real) living human being, what would it be and from who?
CSJ: Nadal's arms. But I'd feel like Goro having 4 unequally-sized arms.
Lily: I LIKE MYSELF THE WAY I AM
Scottyi: I like me.  I think we shouldn't let commercial standards of beauty rob us of our God-given dignity and value.  But if I HAD to choose for the sake of this  question, I suppose it would be nice to replace my Asian liver with one that wasn't deficient in ALDH2 enzymes.  I look like Hellboy after 3 drinks. 
Annamelon: I would take Elaine Tran's calves.  My first thought went to Miller or Hando (Ryan Handoko) for their enviable calves, but they're a bit too bulky and manly for me.  E-tran has (or at least from what I remember when we used to see each other regularly) amazingly toned and well-defined calves.
Joses: For the sake of this question, I'm going to pick something neither my genes nor my willpower can bestow upon me. I'd like, at least, to be able to grow more facial hair. I'm gonna go with Takeshi Kaneshiro -  Kinda reminds me of Johnny Depp.

About the Panelists: CSJ spends his free time striking comets and writing about things for humor's sake. He also enjoys Sunset Cantina and long walks on Beach St. near Hing Shing Pastry. / Lily is an INTJ who prefers the library to every other building on campus.  I like puzzles, classical music, and chess.  My favorite thing to do online is stalk people on facebook and fill out my google calendar. / Scottyi once dated girl taller than him, so how's that for not being superficial?! His website is www.sacredraisincakes.com  / Annamelon is currently sick for the third time in two weeks.  Forget being fit, she just wants to be healthy. / Joses Ho remembers a time when being pale and overweight was a symbol of one's aristocratic wealth and means, which meant you never had a shortage of dames who would fancy having dinner with you, but being tan, lean, and muscular doomed you to never getting a date. Good times.

7/7 Thursday Thoughts

Excerpt from Spiderman: "with great power, comes great responsibility"

Excerpt from the Bible: "the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked" (Luke 12:48)

Because of the striking similarity in idea...I will refer this cohesively as the "Spiderman Gospel"....

The Spiderman Gospel is something I've heard a lot of....especially at Christian conferences that targeted college students with limitless potential....

Sure, it has biblical basis...and is further substantiated by the Parable of the Talents...but will emphasizing this sort of stewardship...encourage us to become performance-based Christians who lose touch with the true Gospel?  Will we become too concerned with gaining an earthly platform to become influential Christians only to be stuck in the rat race?  Will we become obsessed with God doubling our 10 talents?  Or on the opposite end of the spectrum...will we live in fear that God might punish us for burying what he has given us in the ground?

These compelling questions make me want to throw out the Spiderman Gospel.  I think we currently live in an era of Christianity that tells us that it's okay to be mediocre....

But unfortunately...we think it's okay to be mediocre in our spiritual lives as well.  I'm sure many of us know exactly what we need to improve on in our walk with God...but do we feel a burning desire to rectify these issues?  When we know that God wants us to resolve our conflicts with others, do we take that seriously enough to throw down all our pride and do whatever it takes to fix them?  This mediocrity is not acceptable...because while mediocrity by the world's standards is fine, we should live by God's standards and not accept mediocrity...even though we know we're not perfect...

At the end of the day, I can't tell you to disregard the Spiderman Gospel.  I think we WILL be held accountable for what we did or didn't do while on Earth...I don't doubt this one bit...

But as for being performance driven...let us remember the heart of stewardship.  Giving can be difficult...but usually it's because we feel a sense of entitlement to whatever that thing is.  If I realize that all the money I have is because of God in the first place...then it's easy to give.  If I realize that the time and abilities that I have were given to me by God (and can be taken away just as easily), then it's easy to want to use that time and ability to serve him.  So, while great power does come with great responsibility...remember that it came from God and not some radioactive spider bite.

7/6 Wednesday Weekly

MillStar of the Week: This week's MillCredit goes to US Military Veterans...especially those with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  If I asked the average American how a Vet should celebrate July 4th, they'd probably suggest being honored at traditional Independence Day celebrations like a professional baseball game or a fireworks show...

But, I'll always remember from my time doing a Psychiatry rotation at the VA....that many Vets with PTSD get flashbacks when they hear loud noises that sound like gunfire...or...are incredibly anxious in places with a lot of people and few exits.  One vet told me that July 4th is his least favorite day of the year because he has to hide in his room and try to block out the sound of fireworks...

It's sad that some of our country's greatest heroes can't celebrate Independence Day because of how we have decided to celebrate it....so a MillStar goes out to them as an apology...

"Terribly sad..."

MillDud of the Week: A MillDud goes to the US Legal System for botching the Casey Anthony trial.  The jury's job is to only decide whether the defendant is guilty or innocent without factoring what the penalty of guilt is.  In this case, the jurors looked out for themselves and didn't want the blood of Casey Anthony on their hands...even though it seems like it's 99.9999999% likely that she killed her daughter.  I guess people would rather let a murderer off the hook...instead of feeling "guilty" in the rare circumstance that 10 years later that 0.00000000001% chance that she was actually innocent comes to light...but long after she had been wrongly executed.

In my opinion, Casey Anthony deserves more than 1 year of jail time...even if her side of the story is true (about finding her daughter already drowned in a swimming pool AND not calling 911 upon that discovery).  In the words of Nicolae Carpathia, this whole situation is "Terribly sad...terribly sad....terribly sad."

MillBoard Charts Song of the Week: Ever since I saw 10-year old Maria Aragon singing "Wavin' Flag" in the htc Sensation 4G commercial,  that "when i get older, I will get stronger" hook has been stuck in my head on loop.  So I will give in to htc's brainwashing by honoring "Wavin' Flag" by the Young (Canadian) Artists for Haiti as the song of the week....which should make up for the MillDud I gave to Canada recently.... btw...how does the (Carpathian) Justin Beiber deserve the last solo in the song instead of...let's say....Avril Lavigne?

7/5 Milligan + Tagging Contest

When I was a freshman in college, this new website "thefacebook.com" was sweeping the campus....sort of.  By the time "thefacebook" arrived at Brown University in 2004, the only other schools to have access to "thefacebook" were: Harvard, Columbia, Stanford, Yale, Cornell, Dartmouth, Penn, MIT, NYU, and Boston University.

Sounded like a hangout for elitists, right?  There was no way "thefacebook" would be more than that, right?  It wasn't like the future of the world would change because you could "poke" a girl who spends more time in front of a book than a mirror, right?

Well...boy was I wrong...

But...at the time....who could blame me for joining "thefacebook" with the expectation that it would soon rival the irrelevance of other social sites like Xanga or MySpace.  For this reason, I didn't want to get too into "thefacebook"....instead of uploading an image of me, I decided to upload my trademark "millerbear" logo that you still see on my facebook profile today!  And no...I don't regret having that bear represent me all these years...that's not my milligan.

My REAL milligan...regards de-tagging all my photos.  Just like how I didn't want a real picture of me on my profile... to be on some "ridiculous" elitist website...I surely didn't want to have my name attached to all my photos online, right?

Well...7 years later....I'm finally ready to admit that...one day, I'll want to archive all the pictures taken of me during my college years and beyond...and even let others see what I was like in those days...

Thus, I will be holding a week-long contest this week:

What: the "TAG MILLER ON FACEBOOK CONTEST"

Who: anyone who has a facebook account and knows what Miller looks like

Where: facebook.com

When: Contest ends on Tuesday 7/12/11 at 5PM

How: Tag as many photos of Miller on facebook (only pictures that are definitely Miller will count...so don't try to pass off a picture of Ryan Handoko as me for credit...).  The person who tags the single most number of photos will be declared the winner!

Why: Because the winner will be given the oh-so-elusive MillStar Award on Wednesday 7/13/11 AND receive a $25 gift certificate to any restaurant.com restaurant (that sells $25 gift certificates) of his/her choice...

So, go ahead and undo all my de-tagging and help me redeem this Milligan!!!

7/4 Monday MillBox

Q: Can you think of a fate worse than my current one, that of being stuck on OB/GYN service looking at vaginas for an entire month?  Have you ever heard of vajazzling?  I did, this month... -- timhavens


A: Hmmm.... looking at vajayjays for an entire month is a pretty bad deal...especially when many of them are gooey or fishy or falling out... If I want to willingly experience any of those things for a month...I must be a deep sea fisherman...otherwise...my condolences go out to you, Tim.


As for Vajazzling...Man!  I'm already disappointed in myself for having heard of bedazzling....now this is crazy....why would you do that?  What pattern would you even jewel there?  Again, I'm sorry for your predicament...


Finally...let's say you're a professional baker...and you're job is to make cupcakes all day...so many cupcakes that the last thing you want to do when you go home is see a cupcake...


...in short...does being on OB/GYN service diminish your libido?

Q: What do you make of the bands who were big when you were in high school coming out new albums? Take Limp Bizkit's "Gold Cobra", and Simple Plan's "Get Your Heart On", for instance, in addition to boybands making a comeback as well. -- jacuzzijo


A: Hey jacooz, I think I was already in college when Simple Plan was big, so I'll just be addressing Limp Bizkit here.  When I was in middle school, I remember saying that my favorite band was Limp Bizkit.  I thought that "Nookie" was going to go down as a classic song on par with BSB's "I Want It That Way"....but years and years later...I'm wondering why I even liked Limp Bizkit....I don't even have the motivation to youtube "Gold Cobra"....in the end, I'm gonna say that Limp Bizkit got lucky.  They were in an era in which you could cover songs and sell tons of records (ie. Limp Bizkit's "Faith" in a generation that also featured Puff Daddy's "I'll Be Missing You")....they also got lucky in that mixing punk rock and rap actually worked....years ahead of Jay-Z and Linkin Park...there was Limp Bizkit and Method Man and Red Man with "'N Together Now".....after "Break Stuff"....there luck just ran out...sorry Limp Bizkit....in the end, I shouldn't have expected so much from a Bizkit of Limp variety...


Q: Miller, your blog's content comes exclusively from Brown alumni/students. Do you think that affects the writing for better or worse? -- O_canada

A: I won't confirm or deny that...BUT I have no intention of exclusively looking to Brown alumni/students for content.  So if your question is whether I'd let Brown dropout Emma Watson into my Friendzone, the answer is most likely yes....definitely yes before the short hair....


If you'd like to become an occasional panelist on the Friday Friendzone, send me an email... no ties to Brown are required....

Q: What song should you sing if you doubt the credibility of a certain poofy-haired Canadian Friday Friendzone panelist?


A: (Y)MC, eh?







Q: Are you sad that I won't be competing in today's Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest? (Takeru Kobayashi, Japan)


A: C'mon Kobayashi...what's your deal???  You have no integrity and no honor.  I thought you were Japanese... So what you've lost the last 4 years  after winning the previous 6... You give a bad name to all of us who have ever walked around with a fake wrestling belt....

Also...what's with Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest expanding this year into two separate contests...one for men and one for women.... has Title IX infiltrated the hallowed halls of competitive eating?!?!?!?  I'm not even sure if this is a victory for gender equality or not....will feminists celebrate tomorrow when they see 10 women stuff themselves with hot dogs while a predominantly male audience eggs them on to become the first ever woman to win the most gluttonously famous competition in the world?  Or should feminists be fighting to be let back into the competition with the men?

7/1 Friday Friendzone: Travel Edition

1. What is your favorite city in the world? Why?
Jimmy: Mexico City.  I haven't travelled much internationally, and Mexico City might not be the  most exciting, but it is HUGE and I feel like you could live there for years and still find new aspects of it all the time.  There's also a lot of history in the city (history nerd).
Angrygirl: Hard to decide, but I'm gonna have to go with Los Angeles, California. Sure it has issues-- crazy ridiculous traffic, crazy ridiculous income disparity (USC in Compton, anyone?). But there's so much more going for it... legit Asian and Mexican food, access to beaches, great weather so you can wear flip flops 350 days of the year (15 off because it sometimes rains)... also LA remains the only city where meeting people doesn't require dealing with their comments on my "really good" English (being born in the US does that to you). 
Joses: This is a tough one. I resonate well with San Francisco's climate and vibe. Mexico City has some of the best tacos I've ever had, and some of the friendliest people I've ever met. I went to college in Providence, and so I have fond memories of that city. NYC never sleeps, and there's always some new bar, bookstore, or coffeeshop round the corner to check out. I like London for her free museums and her pubs. Beneath and beyond the red-light districts and "coffeeshops", Amsterdam is picturesque and rich in history. But I'd have to go with Singapore. I grew up there, I know her better than any city I've been to, and she has the best food, period.
thetotoromonster: Da Lat, Vietnam.  Honestly, I haven't traveled much around Asia (small sample size) but here's what I like about it: Tons and tons of flowers everywhere <3, Lots of waterfalls and pretty things, Great produce and smoothies, Cheap, delicious food, Relatively safe for Asia, Relatively good weather for Asia (neither [too] humid nor hot; rainy during monsoon season), Get to ride a ton of motorbikes, Many university students learn English though they may be shy (yeah, I'm an ethnocentric American.), Cheap shopping, though you may need to look a little more than in Ho Chi Minh City/Saigon
(Y)MC: Taichung, Taiwan and Venice, Italy are probably two of my most favorite cities in the world. I was born in Taichung and have a lot of great memories growing up there-- riding on mopeds, eating pig ears/feet/intestines, bringing stray dogs home, burning paper money, etc. And Venice was just such a magical place; there's really nowhere else that's really like it (yes, sometimes I do choose to reveal my softer side).


2. What is the one place you haven't been to that you have been dying to visit?
Jimmy: Australia. Very cool culture (from what I've heard) and some really cool travel options and outdoors activities.  And Wombats.  What's not to love about wombats? There's an outside chance I'll be heading there in 2012.
Angrygirl: These questions make me realize that I haven't traveled much. I would love to visit Brazil, because I've never been to South America and I know that Brazil has a sizable Japanese population so that would be interesting to see. Hopefully I would not run into any drug war violence while there...
Joses: Anywhere inside of the Arctic Circle. Northern lights and Santa Claus and reindeer and Nobel Prizes and all that. 
thetotoromonster: 3-way tie: Malta (just heard it from someone and sounds like a good idea), Alaska (in the summer and before it melts), New Zealand (Lord of the Rings tour, probably spend a week in Asia, cool fruits, and nice landscape!)
(Y)MC: I hear the islands off of the coast of Spain are really nice...Menorca, I think? I'd also like to go check out Maldives sooner rather than later... I'm on a plan to stay at a Four Seasons Hotel/Resort at least once a year (2 for 2 so far since getting married). But on most days, I merely wish that flights to Taiwan wouldn't be so lengthy and expensive. I'd love to go back to see my family and to put on some weight/muscle mass.


3. What is the weirdest local delicacy you've eaten while traveling?
Jimmy: Cow tongue tacos.  Not the most exciting, I guess. Still, cow tongue.  After watching a lot of "Bizarre Foods", I don't consider anything I've eaten to be weird.
Angrygirl: Probably the buffalo I ate in Montana when visiting Yellowstone National Park. I can't actually remember if it was buffalo but it was pretty weird.
Joses: Whale meat in Reyjavik, Iceland. It tasted like fishy beef and wasn't all that appetising, or politically correct.
thetotoromonster: I don't think I eat anything too strange abroad out of fear for sanitation.  Maybe escargot in France.  I've eaten durian; Scott thinks that durian is a local delicacy, but it's just a normal thing to me.
(Y)MC: Not counting my food allergies, I think I'm open to trying most foods once. But I think snake soup and legs of frogs and rabbits are a bit too much for me. Those Taiwanese people... they're intense.


4. What is your most embarrassing travel story?
Jimmy: The 5-star log splash.  It involves a 5-star hotel, a clogged toilet, a toothbrush, a trash can, and a balcony.  That's all you need to know. 
Angrygirl: When I was 8, my family and I visited my grandparents in Japan. After dinner my jet lag kicked in and I got really sleepy. My grandparents had a Japanese style dining table (low to the ground, people eat by kneeling on floor pillows), so I just lay on the floor near my parents and fell asleep. The next thing I remember is waking up a few hours later and realizing that my pants and the sitting pillow were wet... with horror I realized that I had peed in my pants, something that is only acceptable when you are under 3 years old. I was also mortified that it happened in front of my grandparents who hadn't seen me in a while-- here was my chance to prove that I wasn't a kid anymore and now I looked like I was some incontinent underdeveloped baby! And I didn't know how to say "this is an unrepresentative freak accident!" in Japanese... Luckily my grandparents were cool about it. But I ended up having to change into the only kid-size pants available-- my dad's old elementary school uniform pants. I remember thinking on the way back to the hotel that the whole night was extremely bizarre.
Joses: Usually when I mention I spent 2 years in the Singapore Armed Forces, people are interested, and it becomes a conversation topic. Not this one time in New Orleans, when I casually brought it up while talking to someone who happened to be a Gulf War vet. He got really mad at me and retorted, "Have you ever been shot at, son?" I don't know how I wriggled out of that conversation, but I'm glad I did.
thetotoromonster: I don't know.  I think I'm a pretty low key traveler, so I've avoided most embarrasment.  My brother had a parasite once and he was pooping everywhere!!  What else... This Italian grandpa was saying something to me when I was in Europe.  I tried talking to an Italian grandpa in Spanish hoping that it would be similar enough.  Nope, not close.  I also got a little seasick when I went on the scuba-diving boat, when I was in Thailand.  It wasn't as bad as my brother or sister though...
(Y)MC: I had a pretty severe food allergy while traveling to Chile. A doctor who was on the same flight managed to find something and gave me a shot... right in my butt cheek... while I was carefully attended to and surrounded by 5-8 pretty good looking Chilean/South America flight attendants (think Jennifer Lopez, Eva Mendes, Jessica Alba, Eva Longoria, Sofia Vergara, Shakira types). Despite the shame, I did get a [sympathy] kiss from one of them when I deplaned. 
(NOTE: This happened WAY BEFORE I got married.)


5) If you were a fugitive, where would you hide? (assume the police know your answer to question #1, #2, and every place you ever lived)
Jimmy: Canadian Rockies.  I'd build a log house and live off the land (using a bow and arrow to catch game.  Less noise, reusable ammo).  So much space, so little people to patrol it.  Also, bears.
Angrygirl: Easy-- China. In my experience, non-Asians have a hard time telling Asian girls apart, so the massive population of China would provide useful camouflage. I could make a living by playing up my Ivy League credentials and working as a SAT teacher/US college admissions consultant (admittedly this would be a lot easier if I went to Harvard). Christian bonus: this would also give me opportunities to share the Gospel in a place where the Gospel doesn't get a lot of exposure. And let's say the US government did find me... it's more likely that US-China relations will be tense and therefore the Chinese government might want to use my return as a sort of bargaining chip, delaying any extradition process. And even if I do eventually get returned to the US, I can sell my unparalleled experience in China and background in international relations to work for the State Department instead of doing time. The only downside of this prospect? Dealing with communism and figuring out how to get to Hong Kong for good healthcare.
Joses: In my (twin) brother's house.
thetotoromonster: I'll probably country hop through Southeast Asia.  In each country I went to, they thought I was a local until I opened my mouth.  But in all seriousness, it'll probably have to be in somewhere like Thailand, or I have to cross the border from Singapore to Malaysia, or maybe even go to some no-name island in Indonesia or the Philippines.  Vietnam and Singapore's governments keep tabs on their citizens too well for me to hide there.
(Y)MC: I would hide in Miller's closet, probably. And then I would ask him to join me in the closet, only so that we can come out of it together and make a big announcement.


About the Panelists: Jimmy just drove 5,000+ miles around the U.S. in attempt to earn a very elusive 2nd millstar. / Angrygirl is ready for vacation. / Joses lives in Oxford, UK.  He often wishes, instead of travelling through space, he could also travel through time. / thetotoromonster gets eaten alive by mosquitoes in the Caribbean, gets eaten alive by mosquitoes in SE Asia, and hasn't gone anywhere else that has mosquitoes for these reasons.  She also loves eating tropical fruits, like dragon fruit, custard apple, rambutan, starfruit, etc. / (Y)MC was born on an island and has been to every continent in the world. He is allergic to shellfish, kiwi, pollen, and dust. He strongly dislikes it when people jump on beds in his room-- because that stirs up A TON of dust. Y(MC)'s favorite in-flight movies include: A Walk To Remember, Dear John/Juan, Chasing Liberty, Meet Joe Black, and How To Train Your Dragon. Finally, his favorite worship guitar chords are Em and Am.