7/8 Friday Friendzone: Physical Fitness Edition

1. How often do you exercise? Be Honest!

Shhhh...I hide in Scottyi's mancave.

CSJ: I exercise maybe once a week, but it is usually offset by subsequent unnecessary overeating and powerade binges. 
Lily: Every other day for about 40 minutes + cooldown.  I run a leisurely 4 miles.  Not like last semester when I also did stairs (up to the 7th story) and pushups AND situps.  What happened to me??
Scottyi: Twice a week in my man cave.  And it's a real man cave too, none of that high def entertainment system baloney, it's down in my moldy basement in the boiler room, looking like a hideaway for trolls.  I have a poster of a t-rex.
Annamelon: During the school year, I usually go to the gym 2-3x a week.  Sometimes, 4x.
Joses: I cycle uphill to my lab every week day. About 2 minutes of intense peddling.

2. What's your favorite type of exercise or workout?

CSJ: I love playing basketball on a lowered hoop. There's nothing like reliving the days of real-life NBA Jam with everyone having Scottie Pippen-like stats.

Lily: Running.  Outside only.  I feel bad that I'm paying for that big college gym to be there and not using it, but I hate treadmills and swimming is a pain.
Scottyi: My main routine is bench press, shoulder press, pull ups, and sit ups.  I don't get as much cardio in as I'd like, but when I do my favorite workout would be a game of basketball.  It's not as monotonous as running / biking, and I love that feeling of being bathed in my own sweat, unable to walk with sore legs and huge blisters on my feet.  Trash-talking people bigger than me is also a good time.
Annamelon: Swimming, for sure, although I rarely do since the Brown pool has super random hours.  I usually default to the elliptical. 
Joses: Like all good Chinese men, we follow Bruce Lee's workout regime.
Bruce Lee's "Lethal Physique" Bodybuilding Program (performed on Tues, Thurs and Sat):
Exercise                        Sets       Repetitions
Clean & Press                 2               8
Squats                          2              12
Pullovers    2              8
Bench Presses                2               6
Good Mornings               2               8
Barbell Curls                  2               8

Apparently Bruce did his good mornings with 125 Lbs on the bar. That's what you gotta do to kick Chuck Norris' butt.

3. How will you know when you've reached your desired level of physical fitness?
CSJ: When my clothes rip when I flex, not when I bend over
Lily: I'm happy with where I'm at right now, but I do have a small goal.  I want somewhat toned arms.  Not like, unfeminine, but just a slight bicep when I flex, y'know?
Scottyi: When women stop rejecting me.
Annamelon: When I've got a six-pack (or just rock-hard abs), sexy shins (I have traumatic experiences with shin splints) & enviable calf muscles (sometimes I really wonder if maybe I'm just missing my gastrocnemius or soleus muscles).  Really though, I don't really think I'm in danger of ever "arriving" at my ideal physical fitness - so I shall continue to strive to run a bit further/longer and lift heavier things.
Joses: When just eating one more calorie a day causes my side-abs to disappear under a microlayer of fat.

4. On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being extremely important and 1 being not important at all): To you, how important is the physical fitness of your significant other?
CSJ: 6. It's nice to have a partner when playing sports. Also if she's physically fit, she will most likely live longer. Thus, we can spend more time eating unhealthy, yet delicious food.
Lily: 10.  That doesn't mean the person needs to exercise at a level of ten, it just means that SOME level of fitness, even running 20 minutes 3x a week is VERY important.  I actually don't find super built guys attractive...

Scottyi: To you, how important is the physical fitness of your significant other?

I don't care how often they exercise, as long as they exercise humility.  Oh snap!  Yeah that's right, I turned this question into another opportunity to rant about the double standards of post-feminism.  I bet you twenty bucks that more guys are willing to date below their physical standard, while more women are likely to answer "BOTH" to the question of brains or brawn.  That's because girls have the freedom to choose... while guys have the freedom to initiate awkward conversations asking if you'll date me. 
Annamelon: 7.  I am the first one to admit that I love food - especially food that is "unhealthy," but I try to practice moderation because I think we need to be responsible with the bodies God gave us.  Aside from the principle of stewardship, I would be angry if my hubby died or was incapacitated at age 50 because of conditions he could have avoided - by eating/drinking in moderation, exercising regularly, not smoking, etc.
Joses: I'd have to go with a 4. As long as she can keep up with me and enjoy herself in physical activity.... like a pick-up sport. But she can't be so unfit she can't water 10 camels.
(If you're not familiar with the account of Rebecca in the Jewish Scriptures... Rebecca fills the trough for the camels of Isaac's servant by the well. A camel can drink 30 - 50 gallons of water. 10 camels would drink at least 300 gallons. Which weighs 1140 kg, or 2500 lbs. So Rebecca carried, back-and-forth from the well, the equivalent of 16 grown men, or 1 normal-sized cow. That's pretty fit.) Ref: Genesis 24

5. If you could get a transplant of any body part from another (real) living human being, what would it be and from who?
CSJ: Nadal's arms. But I'd feel like Goro having 4 unequally-sized arms.
Lily: I LIKE MYSELF THE WAY I AM
Scottyi: I like me.  I think we shouldn't let commercial standards of beauty rob us of our God-given dignity and value.  But if I HAD to choose for the sake of this  question, I suppose it would be nice to replace my Asian liver with one that wasn't deficient in ALDH2 enzymes.  I look like Hellboy after 3 drinks. 
Annamelon: I would take Elaine Tran's calves.  My first thought went to Miller or Hando (Ryan Handoko) for their enviable calves, but they're a bit too bulky and manly for me.  E-tran has (or at least from what I remember when we used to see each other regularly) amazingly toned and well-defined calves.
Joses: For the sake of this question, I'm going to pick something neither my genes nor my willpower can bestow upon me. I'd like, at least, to be able to grow more facial hair. I'm gonna go with Takeshi Kaneshiro -  Kinda reminds me of Johnny Depp.

About the Panelists: CSJ spends his free time striking comets and writing about things for humor's sake. He also enjoys Sunset Cantina and long walks on Beach St. near Hing Shing Pastry. / Lily is an INTJ who prefers the library to every other building on campus.  I like puzzles, classical music, and chess.  My favorite thing to do online is stalk people on facebook and fill out my google calendar. / Scottyi once dated girl taller than him, so how's that for not being superficial?! His website is www.sacredraisincakes.com  / Annamelon is currently sick for the third time in two weeks.  Forget being fit, she just wants to be healthy. / Joses Ho remembers a time when being pale and overweight was a symbol of one's aristocratic wealth and means, which meant you never had a shortage of dames who would fancy having dinner with you, but being tan, lean, and muscular doomed you to never getting a date. Good times.

7/7 Thursday Thoughts

Excerpt from Spiderman: "with great power, comes great responsibility"

Excerpt from the Bible: "the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked" (Luke 12:48)

Because of the striking similarity in idea...I will refer this cohesively as the "Spiderman Gospel"....

The Spiderman Gospel is something I've heard a lot of....especially at Christian conferences that targeted college students with limitless potential....

Sure, it has biblical basis...and is further substantiated by the Parable of the Talents...but will emphasizing this sort of stewardship...encourage us to become performance-based Christians who lose touch with the true Gospel?  Will we become too concerned with gaining an earthly platform to become influential Christians only to be stuck in the rat race?  Will we become obsessed with God doubling our 10 talents?  Or on the opposite end of the spectrum...will we live in fear that God might punish us for burying what he has given us in the ground?

These compelling questions make me want to throw out the Spiderman Gospel.  I think we currently live in an era of Christianity that tells us that it's okay to be mediocre....

But unfortunately...we think it's okay to be mediocre in our spiritual lives as well.  I'm sure many of us know exactly what we need to improve on in our walk with God...but do we feel a burning desire to rectify these issues?  When we know that God wants us to resolve our conflicts with others, do we take that seriously enough to throw down all our pride and do whatever it takes to fix them?  This mediocrity is not acceptable...because while mediocrity by the world's standards is fine, we should live by God's standards and not accept mediocrity...even though we know we're not perfect...

At the end of the day, I can't tell you to disregard the Spiderman Gospel.  I think we WILL be held accountable for what we did or didn't do while on Earth...I don't doubt this one bit...

But as for being performance driven...let us remember the heart of stewardship.  Giving can be difficult...but usually it's because we feel a sense of entitlement to whatever that thing is.  If I realize that all the money I have is because of God in the first place...then it's easy to give.  If I realize that the time and abilities that I have were given to me by God (and can be taken away just as easily), then it's easy to want to use that time and ability to serve him.  So, while great power does come with great responsibility...remember that it came from God and not some radioactive spider bite.

7/6 Wednesday Weekly

MillStar of the Week: This week's MillCredit goes to US Military Veterans...especially those with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  If I asked the average American how a Vet should celebrate July 4th, they'd probably suggest being honored at traditional Independence Day celebrations like a professional baseball game or a fireworks show...

But, I'll always remember from my time doing a Psychiatry rotation at the VA....that many Vets with PTSD get flashbacks when they hear loud noises that sound like gunfire...or...are incredibly anxious in places with a lot of people and few exits.  One vet told me that July 4th is his least favorite day of the year because he has to hide in his room and try to block out the sound of fireworks...

It's sad that some of our country's greatest heroes can't celebrate Independence Day because of how we have decided to celebrate it....so a MillStar goes out to them as an apology...

"Terribly sad..."

MillDud of the Week: A MillDud goes to the US Legal System for botching the Casey Anthony trial.  The jury's job is to only decide whether the defendant is guilty or innocent without factoring what the penalty of guilt is.  In this case, the jurors looked out for themselves and didn't want the blood of Casey Anthony on their hands...even though it seems like it's 99.9999999% likely that she killed her daughter.  I guess people would rather let a murderer off the hook...instead of feeling "guilty" in the rare circumstance that 10 years later that 0.00000000001% chance that she was actually innocent comes to light...but long after she had been wrongly executed.

In my opinion, Casey Anthony deserves more than 1 year of jail time...even if her side of the story is true (about finding her daughter already drowned in a swimming pool AND not calling 911 upon that discovery).  In the words of Nicolae Carpathia, this whole situation is "Terribly sad...terribly sad....terribly sad."

MillBoard Charts Song of the Week: Ever since I saw 10-year old Maria Aragon singing "Wavin' Flag" in the htc Sensation 4G commercial,  that "when i get older, I will get stronger" hook has been stuck in my head on loop.  So I will give in to htc's brainwashing by honoring "Wavin' Flag" by the Young (Canadian) Artists for Haiti as the song of the week....which should make up for the MillDud I gave to Canada recently.... btw...how does the (Carpathian) Justin Beiber deserve the last solo in the song instead of...let's say....Avril Lavigne?

7/5 Milligan + Tagging Contest

When I was a freshman in college, this new website "thefacebook.com" was sweeping the campus....sort of.  By the time "thefacebook" arrived at Brown University in 2004, the only other schools to have access to "thefacebook" were: Harvard, Columbia, Stanford, Yale, Cornell, Dartmouth, Penn, MIT, NYU, and Boston University.

Sounded like a hangout for elitists, right?  There was no way "thefacebook" would be more than that, right?  It wasn't like the future of the world would change because you could "poke" a girl who spends more time in front of a book than a mirror, right?

Well...boy was I wrong...

But...at the time....who could blame me for joining "thefacebook" with the expectation that it would soon rival the irrelevance of other social sites like Xanga or MySpace.  For this reason, I didn't want to get too into "thefacebook"....instead of uploading an image of me, I decided to upload my trademark "millerbear" logo that you still see on my facebook profile today!  And no...I don't regret having that bear represent me all these years...that's not my milligan.

My REAL milligan...regards de-tagging all my photos.  Just like how I didn't want a real picture of me on my profile... to be on some "ridiculous" elitist website...I surely didn't want to have my name attached to all my photos online, right?

Well...7 years later....I'm finally ready to admit that...one day, I'll want to archive all the pictures taken of me during my college years and beyond...and even let others see what I was like in those days...

Thus, I will be holding a week-long contest this week:

What: the "TAG MILLER ON FACEBOOK CONTEST"

Who: anyone who has a facebook account and knows what Miller looks like

Where: facebook.com

When: Contest ends on Tuesday 7/12/11 at 5PM

How: Tag as many photos of Miller on facebook (only pictures that are definitely Miller will count...so don't try to pass off a picture of Ryan Handoko as me for credit...).  The person who tags the single most number of photos will be declared the winner!

Why: Because the winner will be given the oh-so-elusive MillStar Award on Wednesday 7/13/11 AND receive a $25 gift certificate to any restaurant.com restaurant (that sells $25 gift certificates) of his/her choice...

So, go ahead and undo all my de-tagging and help me redeem this Milligan!!!

7/4 Monday MillBox

Q: Can you think of a fate worse than my current one, that of being stuck on OB/GYN service looking at vaginas for an entire month?  Have you ever heard of vajazzling?  I did, this month... -- timhavens


A: Hmmm.... looking at vajayjays for an entire month is a pretty bad deal...especially when many of them are gooey or fishy or falling out... If I want to willingly experience any of those things for a month...I must be a deep sea fisherman...otherwise...my condolences go out to you, Tim.


As for Vajazzling...Man!  I'm already disappointed in myself for having heard of bedazzling....now this is crazy....why would you do that?  What pattern would you even jewel there?  Again, I'm sorry for your predicament...


Finally...let's say you're a professional baker...and you're job is to make cupcakes all day...so many cupcakes that the last thing you want to do when you go home is see a cupcake...


...in short...does being on OB/GYN service diminish your libido?

Q: What do you make of the bands who were big when you were in high school coming out new albums? Take Limp Bizkit's "Gold Cobra", and Simple Plan's "Get Your Heart On", for instance, in addition to boybands making a comeback as well. -- jacuzzijo


A: Hey jacooz, I think I was already in college when Simple Plan was big, so I'll just be addressing Limp Bizkit here.  When I was in middle school, I remember saying that my favorite band was Limp Bizkit.  I thought that "Nookie" was going to go down as a classic song on par with BSB's "I Want It That Way"....but years and years later...I'm wondering why I even liked Limp Bizkit....I don't even have the motivation to youtube "Gold Cobra"....in the end, I'm gonna say that Limp Bizkit got lucky.  They were in an era in which you could cover songs and sell tons of records (ie. Limp Bizkit's "Faith" in a generation that also featured Puff Daddy's "I'll Be Missing You")....they also got lucky in that mixing punk rock and rap actually worked....years ahead of Jay-Z and Linkin Park...there was Limp Bizkit and Method Man and Red Man with "'N Together Now".....after "Break Stuff"....there luck just ran out...sorry Limp Bizkit....in the end, I shouldn't have expected so much from a Bizkit of Limp variety...


Q: Miller, your blog's content comes exclusively from Brown alumni/students. Do you think that affects the writing for better or worse? -- O_canada

A: I won't confirm or deny that...BUT I have no intention of exclusively looking to Brown alumni/students for content.  So if your question is whether I'd let Brown dropout Emma Watson into my Friendzone, the answer is most likely yes....definitely yes before the short hair....


If you'd like to become an occasional panelist on the Friday Friendzone, send me an email... no ties to Brown are required....

Q: What song should you sing if you doubt the credibility of a certain poofy-haired Canadian Friday Friendzone panelist?


A: (Y)MC, eh?







Q: Are you sad that I won't be competing in today's Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest? (Takeru Kobayashi, Japan)


A: C'mon Kobayashi...what's your deal???  You have no integrity and no honor.  I thought you were Japanese... So what you've lost the last 4 years  after winning the previous 6... You give a bad name to all of us who have ever walked around with a fake wrestling belt....

Also...what's with Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest expanding this year into two separate contests...one for men and one for women.... has Title IX infiltrated the hallowed halls of competitive eating?!?!?!?  I'm not even sure if this is a victory for gender equality or not....will feminists celebrate tomorrow when they see 10 women stuff themselves with hot dogs while a predominantly male audience eggs them on to become the first ever woman to win the most gluttonously famous competition in the world?  Or should feminists be fighting to be let back into the competition with the men?