A: First off, thank you for the anti-holy disclaimer...it saves me in case someone out there criticizes me for not picking Jesus. I do, though, feel some sort of obligation to pick someone who isn't totally morally bankrupt. I'm going to have to go with the modern day Reggie Miller: Ray Allen. I'd get the chance to be on the Boston Celtics and compete for a title...and make $10 million for shooting 3's. I'd even have the stroke to force the Celtics television network to give my wife a cooking show she doesn't deserve! (...but because of the current NBA lockout, I might not want to use up my day on a labor dispute....so I retain the right to change my answer to current WWE champion but former WWE employee CM Punk).
Q: Which superhero (from any comic or cartoon) do you think could defeat Jean Grey from X-men (pre-Phoenix but post-being able to harness her powers)? -- my girlfriend
A: My best answer: Cyclops. With an optic blast, you say? No way, his true power is boring you to death.
Q: Are chinese accent jokes too racist for this blog? -- Tim H
A: Since I don't like the double standards of racism such as how the "N-word" is acceptable to use if you're black...I'm gonna say that Chinese accent jokes are not too racist for this blog. BUT, I will judge them by merit...any Chinese accent joke must be inherently funny and creative. When it comes to Chinese accent jokes, I'm gonna be a Tiger Mom; an A- is deserving of punishment.
Q: Should I get a Cru cut? Should we avoid CRUde language? Is the Ivy conference all about reCRUitment? Does Stevey D Douglas have crupies? How does "crucifiction is cruel, but cru is cool" rate as a slogan? Bah, too many to make, I better go recruperate. -- Tim H
A: In order: Yes, it eliminates the need for combs and hairdryers. Definitely avoid swearing...but if you consider talking about poop to be crude, then no. Yes. YES, I can't believe I shook his hand and had a 20 second conversation with him (btw...Stevie D is the President of CRU...which sounds less impressive than being President of Campus Crusade for Christ, Intl.)! Terrible slogan.
Q: The "daily" component of dailymillings has been a bit inconsistent as of late. Are we approaching that turning point of losing interest? -- Yufu
A: Perhaps, it's time to start a "Save Our Millings" telethon...complete with old white guy holding African baby.
Q: Who would you rather have as a brother-in-law (i.e. this guy will be marrying Kathryn):
(A) Joshua Harris ("I Kissed Dating Goodbye," "Boy Meets Girl", and the upcoming release "Boy Kissed Boy");
(B) Yaw Darkwa (soon-to-be NYS licensed attorney);
(C) Glen Davis AKA Big Baby (cried when KG yelled at him); or
(D) Mr. James R. Tull (who grows a great beard)
--Yufu
A: Option A is eliminated because he's married. Option B is out because he's the type of person who laughs at bestiality so much that there's such a thing as "Yaw's bestiality laugh" in common vernacular. Option C is an interesting choice...depending on whether he signs with the Celtics this year or not. But Option D is the most solid option....only person to have ever won 2 MillStar Awards...impressive.
Q: Now that Yao Ming has formally announced his retirement from the NBA, is Jeremy Lin going to be our next great Asian hope? He's Taiwanese (the best kind of Asian), FYI. --Yufu
Q: Now that Yao Ming has formally announced his retirement from the NBA, is Jeremy Lin going to be our next great Asian hope? He's Taiwanese (the best kind of Asian), FYI. --Yufu
A: Nope, Jeremy Lin is gonna be a career bench player at best...which means that Yi Jianlian is sadly the best Asian basketball player in the world. Years ago, we all thought that Yao Ming was only the first of many Chinese breeding projects that would dominate the NBA...well, we were wrong. Asians have only regressed since rumors of Yao's retirement. See: Catherine Kieu Becker. Bad news until penis removal becomes an Olympic sport.
1 comment:
It's true, my resume is quite formidable.
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