7/1 Friday Friendzone: Travel Edition

1. What is your favorite city in the world? Why?
Jimmy: Mexico City.  I haven't travelled much internationally, and Mexico City might not be the  most exciting, but it is HUGE and I feel like you could live there for years and still find new aspects of it all the time.  There's also a lot of history in the city (history nerd).
Angrygirl: Hard to decide, but I'm gonna have to go with Los Angeles, California. Sure it has issues-- crazy ridiculous traffic, crazy ridiculous income disparity (USC in Compton, anyone?). But there's so much more going for it... legit Asian and Mexican food, access to beaches, great weather so you can wear flip flops 350 days of the year (15 off because it sometimes rains)... also LA remains the only city where meeting people doesn't require dealing with their comments on my "really good" English (being born in the US does that to you). 
Joses: This is a tough one. I resonate well with San Francisco's climate and vibe. Mexico City has some of the best tacos I've ever had, and some of the friendliest people I've ever met. I went to college in Providence, and so I have fond memories of that city. NYC never sleeps, and there's always some new bar, bookstore, or coffeeshop round the corner to check out. I like London for her free museums and her pubs. Beneath and beyond the red-light districts and "coffeeshops", Amsterdam is picturesque and rich in history. But I'd have to go with Singapore. I grew up there, I know her better than any city I've been to, and she has the best food, period.
thetotoromonster: Da Lat, Vietnam.  Honestly, I haven't traveled much around Asia (small sample size) but here's what I like about it: Tons and tons of flowers everywhere <3, Lots of waterfalls and pretty things, Great produce and smoothies, Cheap, delicious food, Relatively safe for Asia, Relatively good weather for Asia (neither [too] humid nor hot; rainy during monsoon season), Get to ride a ton of motorbikes, Many university students learn English though they may be shy (yeah, I'm an ethnocentric American.), Cheap shopping, though you may need to look a little more than in Ho Chi Minh City/Saigon
(Y)MC: Taichung, Taiwan and Venice, Italy are probably two of my most favorite cities in the world. I was born in Taichung and have a lot of great memories growing up there-- riding on mopeds, eating pig ears/feet/intestines, bringing stray dogs home, burning paper money, etc. And Venice was just such a magical place; there's really nowhere else that's really like it (yes, sometimes I do choose to reveal my softer side).


2. What is the one place you haven't been to that you have been dying to visit?
Jimmy: Australia. Very cool culture (from what I've heard) and some really cool travel options and outdoors activities.  And Wombats.  What's not to love about wombats? There's an outside chance I'll be heading there in 2012.
Angrygirl: These questions make me realize that I haven't traveled much. I would love to visit Brazil, because I've never been to South America and I know that Brazil has a sizable Japanese population so that would be interesting to see. Hopefully I would not run into any drug war violence while there...
Joses: Anywhere inside of the Arctic Circle. Northern lights and Santa Claus and reindeer and Nobel Prizes and all that. 
thetotoromonster: 3-way tie: Malta (just heard it from someone and sounds like a good idea), Alaska (in the summer and before it melts), New Zealand (Lord of the Rings tour, probably spend a week in Asia, cool fruits, and nice landscape!)
(Y)MC: I hear the islands off of the coast of Spain are really nice...Menorca, I think? I'd also like to go check out Maldives sooner rather than later... I'm on a plan to stay at a Four Seasons Hotel/Resort at least once a year (2 for 2 so far since getting married). But on most days, I merely wish that flights to Taiwan wouldn't be so lengthy and expensive. I'd love to go back to see my family and to put on some weight/muscle mass.


3. What is the weirdest local delicacy you've eaten while traveling?
Jimmy: Cow tongue tacos.  Not the most exciting, I guess. Still, cow tongue.  After watching a lot of "Bizarre Foods", I don't consider anything I've eaten to be weird.
Angrygirl: Probably the buffalo I ate in Montana when visiting Yellowstone National Park. I can't actually remember if it was buffalo but it was pretty weird.
Joses: Whale meat in Reyjavik, Iceland. It tasted like fishy beef and wasn't all that appetising, or politically correct.
thetotoromonster: I don't think I eat anything too strange abroad out of fear for sanitation.  Maybe escargot in France.  I've eaten durian; Scott thinks that durian is a local delicacy, but it's just a normal thing to me.
(Y)MC: Not counting my food allergies, I think I'm open to trying most foods once. But I think snake soup and legs of frogs and rabbits are a bit too much for me. Those Taiwanese people... they're intense.


4. What is your most embarrassing travel story?
Jimmy: The 5-star log splash.  It involves a 5-star hotel, a clogged toilet, a toothbrush, a trash can, and a balcony.  That's all you need to know. 
Angrygirl: When I was 8, my family and I visited my grandparents in Japan. After dinner my jet lag kicked in and I got really sleepy. My grandparents had a Japanese style dining table (low to the ground, people eat by kneeling on floor pillows), so I just lay on the floor near my parents and fell asleep. The next thing I remember is waking up a few hours later and realizing that my pants and the sitting pillow were wet... with horror I realized that I had peed in my pants, something that is only acceptable when you are under 3 years old. I was also mortified that it happened in front of my grandparents who hadn't seen me in a while-- here was my chance to prove that I wasn't a kid anymore and now I looked like I was some incontinent underdeveloped baby! And I didn't know how to say "this is an unrepresentative freak accident!" in Japanese... Luckily my grandparents were cool about it. But I ended up having to change into the only kid-size pants available-- my dad's old elementary school uniform pants. I remember thinking on the way back to the hotel that the whole night was extremely bizarre.
Joses: Usually when I mention I spent 2 years in the Singapore Armed Forces, people are interested, and it becomes a conversation topic. Not this one time in New Orleans, when I casually brought it up while talking to someone who happened to be a Gulf War vet. He got really mad at me and retorted, "Have you ever been shot at, son?" I don't know how I wriggled out of that conversation, but I'm glad I did.
thetotoromonster: I don't know.  I think I'm a pretty low key traveler, so I've avoided most embarrasment.  My brother had a parasite once and he was pooping everywhere!!  What else... This Italian grandpa was saying something to me when I was in Europe.  I tried talking to an Italian grandpa in Spanish hoping that it would be similar enough.  Nope, not close.  I also got a little seasick when I went on the scuba-diving boat, when I was in Thailand.  It wasn't as bad as my brother or sister though...
(Y)MC: I had a pretty severe food allergy while traveling to Chile. A doctor who was on the same flight managed to find something and gave me a shot... right in my butt cheek... while I was carefully attended to and surrounded by 5-8 pretty good looking Chilean/South America flight attendants (think Jennifer Lopez, Eva Mendes, Jessica Alba, Eva Longoria, Sofia Vergara, Shakira types). Despite the shame, I did get a [sympathy] kiss from one of them when I deplaned. 
(NOTE: This happened WAY BEFORE I got married.)


5) If you were a fugitive, where would you hide? (assume the police know your answer to question #1, #2, and every place you ever lived)
Jimmy: Canadian Rockies.  I'd build a log house and live off the land (using a bow and arrow to catch game.  Less noise, reusable ammo).  So much space, so little people to patrol it.  Also, bears.
Angrygirl: Easy-- China. In my experience, non-Asians have a hard time telling Asian girls apart, so the massive population of China would provide useful camouflage. I could make a living by playing up my Ivy League credentials and working as a SAT teacher/US college admissions consultant (admittedly this would be a lot easier if I went to Harvard). Christian bonus: this would also give me opportunities to share the Gospel in a place where the Gospel doesn't get a lot of exposure. And let's say the US government did find me... it's more likely that US-China relations will be tense and therefore the Chinese government might want to use my return as a sort of bargaining chip, delaying any extradition process. And even if I do eventually get returned to the US, I can sell my unparalleled experience in China and background in international relations to work for the State Department instead of doing time. The only downside of this prospect? Dealing with communism and figuring out how to get to Hong Kong for good healthcare.
Joses: In my (twin) brother's house.
thetotoromonster: I'll probably country hop through Southeast Asia.  In each country I went to, they thought I was a local until I opened my mouth.  But in all seriousness, it'll probably have to be in somewhere like Thailand, or I have to cross the border from Singapore to Malaysia, or maybe even go to some no-name island in Indonesia or the Philippines.  Vietnam and Singapore's governments keep tabs on their citizens too well for me to hide there.
(Y)MC: I would hide in Miller's closet, probably. And then I would ask him to join me in the closet, only so that we can come out of it together and make a big announcement.


About the Panelists: Jimmy just drove 5,000+ miles around the U.S. in attempt to earn a very elusive 2nd millstar. / Angrygirl is ready for vacation. / Joses lives in Oxford, UK.  He often wishes, instead of travelling through space, he could also travel through time. / thetotoromonster gets eaten alive by mosquitoes in the Caribbean, gets eaten alive by mosquitoes in SE Asia, and hasn't gone anywhere else that has mosquitoes for these reasons.  She also loves eating tropical fruits, like dragon fruit, custard apple, rambutan, starfruit, etc. / (Y)MC was born on an island and has been to every continent in the world. He is allergic to shellfish, kiwi, pollen, and dust. He strongly dislikes it when people jump on beds in his room-- because that stirs up A TON of dust. Y(MC)'s favorite in-flight movies include: A Walk To Remember, Dear John/Juan, Chasing Liberty, Meet Joe Black, and How To Train Your Dragon. Finally, his favorite worship guitar chords are Em and Am.

6/30 Thursday Thoughts

According to the Westminster Catechism, the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever...

Well, let's just focus on the "enjoy Him forever" part and ask...do you enjoy God now?

The reflex is to say "yes, of course, I do," but are you just thinking about those rare occasions when you really feel a palpable connection with God or when You've just witnessed an answer to your prayers?

I don't know about you...but if you asked my what I enjoy...I'd probably list things like: hanging out with friends, talking to people (especially about relationships), following sports and wrestling, playing video games, etc etc etc.  Essentially, it would be a long list of stuff that may or may not include something directly relating to God...possibly depending on my current life circumstances...

When I'm having a really crappy day...or even if I've had a pretty good day and just want to relax...it is not in my nature to run to God.  To meditate, to pray, to study the Bible.

What's sadder...is that if Jesus himself were waiting for me when I got home...and I had the option of chilling with him or doing one of the other things I enjoy....I might not pick Jesus and just try to have fun doing something else...(Disclaimer: I haven't actually been in this situation, so I'm not sure what I'd do)..

I realize that this is messed up.  But I don't think I'm the only person who would make that choice.

If you could have everything you ever wanted but couldn't have a relationship with God...would you take that deal?  Would you take a relationship with God even if it meant having nothing in life go your way (ie. Job)?

I know which answer to choose...but how come I don't live my life that way?

6/29 Wednesday Weekly

MillStar of the Week: This week's MillCredit goes to the newest member of the Washington Wizards Jan Vesely from the Czech Republic.  Even though Jan was only picked #6 overall, he stole the show at the NBA Draft when he kissed his girlfriend much to the delight of the live audience in New Jersey.  THEN, he wow'd me with his swagger in his post-draft interview by denying he is the "European Blake Griffin" and instead saying that Blake Griffin is just the "American Jan Vesely."  Usually, international players totally embarrass themselves in their first ever televised interview in English (For example, see how #5 pick Jonas Valanciunas talks about his "not so strong body").  If I'm ever going to be a fan of DC sports, I'm going to need someone like Jan Vesely to get me through.  Thanks Jan.

Runner-Up: CM Punk for delivering the best wrestling promo since the late 90s.

MillDud of the Week: Yesterday, a press release went out stating that the Southern Baptists had changed their stance on homosexuality and were ready to allow same-sex marriage because "even our most sacred texts must be read in context."  This made me incredibly sad...BUT then the Southern Baptists later denied they put out this press release and claimed it was a hoax performed by a so-called Christian think tank named the Center for Responsible Christian Living (is it funny that the only major news outlet to cover this story was Fox News?).  This probably has to be one of the dumbest hoaxes of all-time.  Why would a pro-gay organization think impersonating a Christian denomination would help their cause?

But in the spirit of fairness...why would they target Southern Baptists?  I have to assume that Southern Baptists are not totally in the right and must have ticked off some people in this think tank either directly or indirectly.  Then, I gotta just re-affirm that I don't think "our sacred texts" would approve of homosexuality in ANY context.  I believe that being actively homosexual is sinful.  Finally, just like how Christians shouldn't convey their thoughts on homosexuality in hateful ways...but instead disagree in loving ways....Gays and pro-gays should not be playing tricks on Christians even if some might deserve it.  So this week's MillDud goes to Southern Baptists, Gays, and Gays who play tricks on Southern Baptists aka the Gay Southern Baptist Hoax.

MillBoard Charts Song of the Week: In continuing with the theme of summer songs of the 90's, this week's song of the week goes to "Sometimes" by Britney Spears.  I remember a couple of things about this song....

1) I was learning Spanish in school...and I tried really hard to translate the lyrics of this song to "A Veces Corro" but had no idea how to say "I'm scared of you" so that endeavor ended really quickly.

2) I remember watching MTV's Total Request Live when this song first came out.  I remember Carson Daly was fixated on how one of the girls in the video was itching her crotch.  For your sake, I've pinpointed the crotch-itch at the 1:16 mark in the YouTube Link given above!

3) Britney was so awesome at this point in her career.  What happened???  When did Britney's career veer off track?  I'm gonna say "Slave 4 U" was the point of no return...her wholesome image was definitely gone by then.  Unlike many, I choose to believe that Britney was genuinely wholesome early on in her career...and was not simply the product of clever marketing to teenagers.

6/28 Tuesday Milligan

Two months ago when I was craving to relaunch the Daily Millings, I didn't know how to do it in a way that would be sustainable for longer than my customary 2 week blogging spurts.  My solution, I thought, would be microblogging.  That way...instead of having to post a whole article every day...I'd only have to post a one-liner and jump straight to the punchline with no substantiative build-up.  Sounds like a good idea, huh?

So I signed up for a tumblr account @ dailymilling.tumblr.com and started micro-blogging for the first time.  Well, after 6 posts of miscellaneous unorganized information....I gave up on micro-blogging.  That's right, instead of my customary 2 week blogging spurt....my micro-blogging only lasted a micro-spurt....and I returned here.

Many of my longtime readers have already commented on how they're impressed I've made it through 5 weeks of daily blogging already.  It's true.  I've had many blogs...and they all died out pretty quickly.  If I could get a Milligan, I would have operated on a 5-segment blog cycle from the very beginning and have come up with more ways to put up hilarious content without writing the articles by myself (ie Friday Friendzone)...

Don't get me wrong, I loved writing almost all of the blogs I've ever operated...but this micro-blogging phase is regrettable and forgettable.

Moral of the story: If your writing style involves...using a ton of ellipses...and writing the way you tell a story to a friend.... micro-blogging is not for you.  Don't be lured in by the artsiness (that you wouldn't be able to utilize anyway) or the "convenience" of writing one concise phrase at a time.  Punchlines should be preceded by seemingly unnecessary jab-lines.

6/27 Monday MillBox

Q: Miller, HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING, if you had to choose between these two, which would you rather have at this current stage of your life? 

Choice A: Herpes (not the innocuous "lip fungus" type, but the other kind, you know)
Choice B: A baby/infant
The rule is that you must pick one. Explain. -- Yufu

A: Well Yufu, this one is easy.  I'm gonna pick Choice B because Herpes are forever.  Once that baby turns 18, you can send it off to college.  Herpes you can't just send to college, because every admissions officer would be like..."I'm sorry, our fine establishment has plenty of Herpes already...affirmative action has forced us to accept more humans this year.  Best of luck in all your future endeavors."

Q: Dear Miller, after reading the mixed opinion of the Friday Friendzone panelists, I'm wondering...what do YOU think about summer flings? -- Girl who wears Abercrombie and Fitch


A: Man...summer flings are fun, but not recommended.  My two most memorable summers before college involved summer flings.  Summer romance is incredibly exhilarating; I'll give you that.  BUT just like how April showers bring May flowers (or May allergies)...Summer Romance brings Fall No-mance!!!  The expectation that things will stay the same in the fall when school starts is crazy.  One of you is bound to want more of what happened in the summer and one of you is bound to want less of what happened in the summer.  And if you were the one that wanted more (like I was), you're gonna get hurt.  So...after this happening twice...I retired from the summer fling business...and had even more exhilarating summers than the ones I had in high school.

For any high school dude looking for something exhilarating to do this summer...just imagine how worthwhile it is to explain the intricacies of who you are to some girl for something that might last for a few months....versus how worthwhile it is to explain the intricacies of a flawless God to guys for something that might last for an eternity.  That's right, sign up for a summer mission trip, but leave the missionary goggles at home.

Q: Which is the bigger NBA story last week: NBA Draft or Ron Artest's name change?


A: The Bigger NBA story is the NBA Draft, but for the sake of my loyal readers who would rather hear about Ron Artest's name change to Metta World Peace...lemme just say that I think he's flipped his lid.  I really thought that Ron Artest was maturing as a person.  I mean after he jumped into the stands several years ago to beat up a fan in Detroit, I would have never imagined that he'd win the NBA's Outstanding Citizenship Award for his work in promoting psychiatric care for the mentally ill.  But man, I think this is a bad move.  Don't get me wrong.  The name change idea itself is great!  He needs a fresh start...the Ron Artest name is associated with a lot of baggage.  The problem is...why "Metta World Peace"???  I mean... "Metta" is a buddhist term for kindness....so his name is going to mean "Kindness World Peace?"  Why does his teammate Pau Gasol get called out for being soft and without toughness when his name does NOT mean "Kindness World Peace"?  I think Ron Artest should instead change his name to "Psych Ward" because it would further his image as a spokesperson for psychiatric care.  He could also claim to be related to Hines Ward.

As far as the NBA draft is concerned, my new favorite NBA player has gotta be the #3 pick overall, Enes Kanter from Turkey.  The reason: he wants to become a WWE Wrestler after he retires from the NBA.  Enes Kanter is a big fan of wrestling icon The Undertaker and his nickname from college is The UnderKanter.  Check out this vid of Enes Kanter entering a University of Kentucky prep rally to The Undertaker's theme music!  Even if this guy turns out to be the worst basketball player ever, he's already won me over.

Q: After establishing ill-will for Obama last week, what do you think his dog Bo?


A: You mean Bo'Bama?  Well, don't you think Obama should be offended that Ted Kennedy gave him a black dog?  I mean...seriously...just because he's the first black president doesn't mean he needs to own the first black presidential dog.  I mean...doesn't that just remind you of slavery?  Instead Obama should have gotten a white dog to make him only the 2nd whitest member of his immediate family.

Future Dog Names for Republican Candidates: Mutt Romney, Michelle Barkman, Neutered Gingrich.

Q: Are you jealous that your girlfriend is going to the New Kids on the Block/Backstreet Boys concert next week?


A: Slightly.  She gets to see 2 awesome boybands live.  Closest thing to a boyband I've seen live: BBMak.