Hi.
1. What do you think of Google PLUS?
Scottyi: arriviste
thetotoromonster: Unknown :( (Nobody invited me!!)
Joses: Meh.
Angrygirl: Boring
(Y)MC: Useless
2. What do you think of women pastors?
Scottyi: qualifications...
thetotoromonster: Unknown :( (Raised Catholic and Ren doesn't have any!)
Joses: Acceptable.
Angrygirl: Maybe
(Y)MC: Interesting
3. What do you think of professional wrestling?
Scottyi: schadenfraude
thetotoromonster: Miller :(
Joses: Greasy.
Angrygirl: Sweaty (Smelly was a runner up)
(Y)MC: Staged
4. Who will be the next president of the United States?
Scottyi: tergiversator
thetotoromonster: Unknown :( (Barely follows politics and doesn't follow politicians)
Joses: Obama.
Angrygirl: 2012 - Obama; 2016 - Pleasesomebodynotassociatedwiththeteaparty
(Y)MC: Palin
5. What do you think of Interracial Relationships?
Scottyi: parents...
thetotoromonster: YoungAsianWomen+OldWhiteMen :(
Joses: Sexy.
Angrygirl: Jarring
(Y)MC: Skewed
About the Panelists: Scottyi is something. / thetotoromonster is a Last-minute-concoction :( / Joses is Fresh. / Angrygirl is milling. / (Y)MC is unhealthy.
Showing posts with label (Y)MC. Show all posts
Showing posts with label (Y)MC. Show all posts
Friday, July 22, 2011
Friday, July 1, 2011
7/1 Friday Friendzone: Travel Edition
1. What is your favorite city in the world? Why?
Jimmy: Mexico City. I haven't travelled much internationally, and Mexico City might not be the most exciting, but it is HUGE and I feel like you could live there for years and still find new aspects of it all the time. There's also a lot of history in the city (history nerd).
Angrygirl: Hard to decide, but I'm gonna have to go with Los Angeles, California. Sure it has issues-- crazy ridiculous traffic, crazy ridiculous income disparity (USC in Compton, anyone?). But there's so much more going for it... legit Asian and Mexican food, access to beaches, great weather so you can wear flip flops 350 days of the year (15 off because it sometimes rains)... also LA remains the only city where meeting people doesn't require dealing with their comments on my "really good" English (being born in the US does that to you).
Joses: This is a tough one. I resonate well with San Francisco's climate and vibe. Mexico City has some of the best tacos I've ever had, and some of the friendliest people I've ever met. I went to college in Providence, and so I have fond memories of that city. NYC never sleeps, and there's always some new bar, bookstore, or coffeeshop round the corner to check out. I like London for her free museums and her pubs. Beneath and beyond the red-light districts and "coffeeshops", Amsterdam is picturesque and rich in history. But I'd have to go with Singapore. I grew up there, I know her better than any city I've been to, and she has the best food, period.
thetotoromonster: Da Lat, Vietnam. Honestly, I haven't traveled much around Asia (small sample size) but here's what I like about it: Tons and tons of flowers everywhere <3, Lots of waterfalls and pretty things, Great produce and smoothies, Cheap, delicious food, Relatively safe for Asia, Relatively good weather for Asia (neither [too] humid nor hot; rainy during monsoon season), Get to ride a ton of motorbikes, Many university students learn English though they may be shy (yeah, I'm an ethnocentric American.), Cheap shopping, though you may need to look a little more than in Ho Chi Minh City/Saigon
(Y)MC: Taichung, Taiwan and Venice, Italy are probably two of my most favorite cities in the world. I was born in Taichung and have a lot of great memories growing up there-- riding on mopeds, eating pig ears/feet/intestines, bringing stray dogs home, burning paper money, etc. And Venice was just such a magical place; there's really nowhere else that's really like it (yes, sometimes I do choose to reveal my softer side).
2. What is the one place you haven't been to that you have been dying to visit?
Jimmy: Australia. Very cool culture (from what I've heard) and some really cool travel options and outdoors activities. And Wombats. What's not to love about wombats? There's an outside chance I'll be heading there in 2012.
Angrygirl: These questions make me realize that I haven't traveled much. I would love to visit Brazil, because I've never been to South America and I know that Brazil has a sizable Japanese population so that would be interesting to see. Hopefully I would not run into any drug war violence while there...
Joses: Anywhere inside of the Arctic Circle. Northern lights and Santa Claus and reindeer and Nobel Prizes and all that.
thetotoromonster: 3-way tie: Malta (just heard it from someone and sounds like a good idea), Alaska (in the summer and before it melts), New Zealand (Lord of the Rings tour, probably spend a week in Asia, cool fruits, and nice landscape!)
(Y)MC: I hear the islands off of the coast of Spain are really nice...Menorca, I think? I'd also like to go check out Maldives sooner rather than later... I'm on a plan to stay at a Four Seasons Hotel/Resort at least once a year (2 for 2 so far since getting married). But on most days, I merely wish that flights to Taiwan wouldn't be so lengthy and expensive. I'd love to go back to see my family and to put on some weight/muscle mass.
3. What is the weirdest local delicacy you've eaten while traveling?
Jimmy: Cow tongue tacos. Not the most exciting, I guess. Still, cow tongue. After watching a lot of "Bizarre Foods", I don't consider anything I've eaten to be weird.
Angrygirl: Probably the buffalo I ate in Montana when visiting Yellowstone National Park. I can't actually remember if it was buffalo but it was pretty weird.
Joses: Whale meat in Reyjavik, Iceland. It tasted like fishy beef and wasn't all that appetising, or politically correct.
thetotoromonster: I don't think I eat anything too strange abroad out of fear for sanitation. Maybe escargot in France. I've eaten durian; Scott thinks that durian is a local delicacy, but it's just a normal thing to me.
(Y)MC: Not counting my food allergies, I think I'm open to trying most foods once. But I think snake soup and legs of frogs and rabbits are a bit too much for me. Those Taiwanese people... they're intense.
4. What is your most embarrassing travel story?
Jimmy: The 5-star log splash. It involves a 5-star hotel, a clogged toilet, a toothbrush, a trash can, and a balcony. That's all you need to know.
Angrygirl: When I was 8, my family and I visited my grandparents in Japan. After dinner my jet lag kicked in and I got really sleepy. My grandparents had a Japanese style dining table (low to the ground, people eat by kneeling on floor pillows), so I just lay on the floor near my parents and fell asleep. The next thing I remember is waking up a few hours later and realizing that my pants and the sitting pillow were wet... with horror I realized that I had peed in my pants, something that is only acceptable when you are under 3 years old. I was also mortified that it happened in front of my grandparents who hadn't seen me in a while-- here was my chance to prove that I wasn't a kid anymore and now I looked like I was some incontinent underdeveloped baby! And I didn't know how to say "this is an unrepresentative freak accident!" in Japanese... Luckily my grandparents were cool about it. But I ended up having to change into the only kid-size pants available-- my dad's old elementary school uniform pants. I remember thinking on the way back to the hotel that the whole night was extremely bizarre.
Joses: Usually when I mention I spent 2 years in the Singapore Armed Forces, people are interested, and it becomes a conversation topic. Not this one time in New Orleans, when I casually brought it up while talking to someone who happened to be a Gulf War vet. He got really mad at me and retorted, "Have you ever been shot at, son?" I don't know how I wriggled out of that conversation, but I'm glad I did.
thetotoromonster: I don't know. I think I'm a pretty low key traveler, so I've avoided most embarrasment. My brother had a parasite once and he was pooping everywhere!! What else... This Italian grandpa was saying something to me when I was in Europe. I tried talking to an Italian grandpa in Spanish hoping that it would be similar enough. Nope, not close. I also got a little seasick when I went on the scuba-diving boat, when I was in Thailand. It wasn't as bad as my brother or sister though...
(Y)MC: I had a pretty severe food allergy while traveling to Chile. A doctor who was on the same flight managed to find something and gave me a shot... right in my butt cheek... while I was carefully attended to and surrounded by 5-8 pretty good looking Chilean/South America flight attendants (think Jennifer Lopez, Eva Mendes, Jessica Alba, Eva Longoria, Sofia Vergara, Shakira types). Despite the shame, I did get a [sympathy] kiss from one of them when I deplaned.
(NOTE: This happened WAY BEFORE I got married.)
5) If you were a fugitive, where would you hide? (assume the police know your answer to question #1, #2, and every place you ever lived)
Jimmy: Canadian Rockies. I'd build a log house and live off the land (using a bow and arrow to catch game. Less noise, reusable ammo). So much space, so little people to patrol it. Also, bears.
Angrygirl: Easy-- China. In my experience, non-Asians have a hard time telling Asian girls apart, so the massive population of China would provide useful camouflage. I could make a living by playing up my Ivy League credentials and working as a SAT teacher/US college admissions consultant (admittedly this would be a lot easier if I went to Harvard). Christian bonus: this would also give me opportunities to share the Gospel in a place where the Gospel doesn't get a lot of exposure. And let's say the US government did find me... it's more likely that US-China relations will be tense and therefore the Chinese government might want to use my return as a sort of bargaining chip, delaying any extradition process. And even if I do eventually get returned to the US, I can sell my unparalleled experience in China and background in international relations to work for the State Department instead of doing time. The only downside of this prospect? Dealing with communism and figuring out how to get to Hong Kong for good healthcare.
Joses: In my (twin) brother's house.
thetotoromonster: I'll probably country hop through Southeast Asia. In each country I went to, they thought I was a local until I opened my mouth. But in all seriousness, it'll probably have to be in somewhere like Thailand, or I have to cross the border from Singapore to Malaysia, or maybe even go to some no-name island in Indonesia or the Philippines. Vietnam and Singapore's governments keep tabs on their citizens too well for me to hide there.
(Y)MC: I would hide in Miller's closet, probably. And then I would ask him to join me in the closet, only so that we can come out of it together and make a big announcement.
About the Panelists: Jimmy just drove 5,000+ miles around the U.S. in attempt to earn a very elusive 2nd millstar. / Angrygirl is ready for vacation. / Joses lives in Oxford, UK. He often wishes, instead of travelling through space, he could also travel through time. / thetotoromonster gets eaten alive by mosquitoes in the Caribbean, gets eaten alive by mosquitoes in SE Asia, and hasn't gone anywhere else that has mosquitoes for these reasons. She also loves eating tropical fruits, like dragon fruit, custard apple, rambutan, starfruit, etc. / (Y)MC was born on an island and has been to every continent in the world. He is allergic to shellfish, kiwi, pollen, and dust. He strongly dislikes it when people jump on beds in his room-- because that stirs up A TON of dust. Y(MC)'s favorite in-flight movies include: A Walk To Remember, Dear John/Juan, Chasing Liberty, Meet Joe Black, and How To Train Your Dragon. Finally, his favorite worship guitar chords are Em and Am.
Jimmy: Mexico City. I haven't travelled much internationally, and Mexico City might not be the most exciting, but it is HUGE and I feel like you could live there for years and still find new aspects of it all the time. There's also a lot of history in the city (history nerd).
Angrygirl: Hard to decide, but I'm gonna have to go with Los Angeles, California. Sure it has issues-- crazy ridiculous traffic, crazy ridiculous income disparity (USC in Compton, anyone?). But there's so much more going for it... legit Asian and Mexican food, access to beaches, great weather so you can wear flip flops 350 days of the year (15 off because it sometimes rains)... also LA remains the only city where meeting people doesn't require dealing with their comments on my "really good" English (being born in the US does that to you).
Joses: This is a tough one. I resonate well with San Francisco's climate and vibe. Mexico City has some of the best tacos I've ever had, and some of the friendliest people I've ever met. I went to college in Providence, and so I have fond memories of that city. NYC never sleeps, and there's always some new bar, bookstore, or coffeeshop round the corner to check out. I like London for her free museums and her pubs. Beneath and beyond the red-light districts and "coffeeshops", Amsterdam is picturesque and rich in history. But I'd have to go with Singapore. I grew up there, I know her better than any city I've been to, and she has the best food, period.
thetotoromonster: Da Lat, Vietnam. Honestly, I haven't traveled much around Asia (small sample size) but here's what I like about it: Tons and tons of flowers everywhere <3, Lots of waterfalls and pretty things, Great produce and smoothies, Cheap, delicious food, Relatively safe for Asia, Relatively good weather for Asia (neither [too] humid nor hot; rainy during monsoon season), Get to ride a ton of motorbikes, Many university students learn English though they may be shy (yeah, I'm an ethnocentric American.), Cheap shopping, though you may need to look a little more than in Ho Chi Minh City/Saigon
(Y)MC: Taichung, Taiwan and Venice, Italy are probably two of my most favorite cities in the world. I was born in Taichung and have a lot of great memories growing up there-- riding on mopeds, eating pig ears/feet/intestines, bringing stray dogs home, burning paper money, etc. And Venice was just such a magical place; there's really nowhere else that's really like it (yes, sometimes I do choose to reveal my softer side).
2. What is the one place you haven't been to that you have been dying to visit?
Jimmy: Australia. Very cool culture (from what I've heard) and some really cool travel options and outdoors activities. And Wombats. What's not to love about wombats? There's an outside chance I'll be heading there in 2012.
Angrygirl: These questions make me realize that I haven't traveled much. I would love to visit Brazil, because I've never been to South America and I know that Brazil has a sizable Japanese population so that would be interesting to see. Hopefully I would not run into any drug war violence while there...
Joses: Anywhere inside of the Arctic Circle. Northern lights and Santa Claus and reindeer and Nobel Prizes and all that.
thetotoromonster: 3-way tie: Malta (just heard it from someone and sounds like a good idea), Alaska (in the summer and before it melts), New Zealand (Lord of the Rings tour, probably spend a week in Asia, cool fruits, and nice landscape!)
(Y)MC: I hear the islands off of the coast of Spain are really nice...Menorca, I think? I'd also like to go check out Maldives sooner rather than later... I'm on a plan to stay at a Four Seasons Hotel/Resort at least once a year (2 for 2 so far since getting married). But on most days, I merely wish that flights to Taiwan wouldn't be so lengthy and expensive. I'd love to go back to see my family and to put on some weight/muscle mass.
3. What is the weirdest local delicacy you've eaten while traveling?
Jimmy: Cow tongue tacos. Not the most exciting, I guess. Still, cow tongue. After watching a lot of "Bizarre Foods", I don't consider anything I've eaten to be weird.
Angrygirl: Probably the buffalo I ate in Montana when visiting Yellowstone National Park. I can't actually remember if it was buffalo but it was pretty weird.
Joses: Whale meat in Reyjavik, Iceland. It tasted like fishy beef and wasn't all that appetising, or politically correct.
thetotoromonster: I don't think I eat anything too strange abroad out of fear for sanitation. Maybe escargot in France. I've eaten durian; Scott thinks that durian is a local delicacy, but it's just a normal thing to me.
(Y)MC: Not counting my food allergies, I think I'm open to trying most foods once. But I think snake soup and legs of frogs and rabbits are a bit too much for me. Those Taiwanese people... they're intense.
4. What is your most embarrassing travel story?
Jimmy: The 5-star log splash. It involves a 5-star hotel, a clogged toilet, a toothbrush, a trash can, and a balcony. That's all you need to know.
Angrygirl: When I was 8, my family and I visited my grandparents in Japan. After dinner my jet lag kicked in and I got really sleepy. My grandparents had a Japanese style dining table (low to the ground, people eat by kneeling on floor pillows), so I just lay on the floor near my parents and fell asleep. The next thing I remember is waking up a few hours later and realizing that my pants and the sitting pillow were wet... with horror I realized that I had peed in my pants, something that is only acceptable when you are under 3 years old. I was also mortified that it happened in front of my grandparents who hadn't seen me in a while-- here was my chance to prove that I wasn't a kid anymore and now I looked like I was some incontinent underdeveloped baby! And I didn't know how to say "this is an unrepresentative freak accident!" in Japanese... Luckily my grandparents were cool about it. But I ended up having to change into the only kid-size pants available-- my dad's old elementary school uniform pants. I remember thinking on the way back to the hotel that the whole night was extremely bizarre.
Joses: Usually when I mention I spent 2 years in the Singapore Armed Forces, people are interested, and it becomes a conversation topic. Not this one time in New Orleans, when I casually brought it up while talking to someone who happened to be a Gulf War vet. He got really mad at me and retorted, "Have you ever been shot at, son?" I don't know how I wriggled out of that conversation, but I'm glad I did.
thetotoromonster: I don't know. I think I'm a pretty low key traveler, so I've avoided most embarrasment. My brother had a parasite once and he was pooping everywhere!! What else... This Italian grandpa was saying something to me when I was in Europe. I tried talking to an Italian grandpa in Spanish hoping that it would be similar enough. Nope, not close. I also got a little seasick when I went on the scuba-diving boat, when I was in Thailand. It wasn't as bad as my brother or sister though...
(Y)MC: I had a pretty severe food allergy while traveling to Chile. A doctor who was on the same flight managed to find something and gave me a shot... right in my butt cheek... while I was carefully attended to and surrounded by 5-8 pretty good looking Chilean/South America flight attendants (think Jennifer Lopez, Eva Mendes, Jessica Alba, Eva Longoria, Sofia Vergara, Shakira types). Despite the shame, I did get a [sympathy] kiss from one of them when I deplaned.
(NOTE: This happened WAY BEFORE I got married.)
5) If you were a fugitive, where would you hide? (assume the police know your answer to question #1, #2, and every place you ever lived)
Jimmy: Canadian Rockies. I'd build a log house and live off the land (using a bow and arrow to catch game. Less noise, reusable ammo). So much space, so little people to patrol it. Also, bears.
Angrygirl: Easy-- China. In my experience, non-Asians have a hard time telling Asian girls apart, so the massive population of China would provide useful camouflage. I could make a living by playing up my Ivy League credentials and working as a SAT teacher/US college admissions consultant (admittedly this would be a lot easier if I went to Harvard). Christian bonus: this would also give me opportunities to share the Gospel in a place where the Gospel doesn't get a lot of exposure. And let's say the US government did find me... it's more likely that US-China relations will be tense and therefore the Chinese government might want to use my return as a sort of bargaining chip, delaying any extradition process. And even if I do eventually get returned to the US, I can sell my unparalleled experience in China and background in international relations to work for the State Department instead of doing time. The only downside of this prospect? Dealing with communism and figuring out how to get to Hong Kong for good healthcare.
Joses: In my (twin) brother's house.
thetotoromonster: I'll probably country hop through Southeast Asia. In each country I went to, they thought I was a local until I opened my mouth. But in all seriousness, it'll probably have to be in somewhere like Thailand, or I have to cross the border from Singapore to Malaysia, or maybe even go to some no-name island in Indonesia or the Philippines. Vietnam and Singapore's governments keep tabs on their citizens too well for me to hide there.
(Y)MC: I would hide in Miller's closet, probably. And then I would ask him to join me in the closet, only so that we can come out of it together and make a big announcement.
About the Panelists: Jimmy just drove 5,000+ miles around the U.S. in attempt to earn a very elusive 2nd millstar. / Angrygirl is ready for vacation. / Joses lives in Oxford, UK. He often wishes, instead of travelling through space, he could also travel through time. / thetotoromonster gets eaten alive by mosquitoes in the Caribbean, gets eaten alive by mosquitoes in SE Asia, and hasn't gone anywhere else that has mosquitoes for these reasons. She also loves eating tropical fruits, like dragon fruit, custard apple, rambutan, starfruit, etc. / (Y)MC was born on an island and has been to every continent in the world. He is allergic to shellfish, kiwi, pollen, and dust. He strongly dislikes it when people jump on beds in his room-- because that stirs up A TON of dust. Y(MC)'s favorite in-flight movies include: A Walk To Remember, Dear John/Juan, Chasing Liberty, Meet Joe Black, and How To Train Your Dragon. Finally, his favorite worship guitar chords are Em and Am.
Friday, June 24, 2011
6/24 Friday Friendzone: Summer Edition
Welcome back to the Friendzone, the most must-read segment on this blog! This week marked the first official week of summer...so I got some of my friends together to ask them about what they think of summer.
1. Is summer the best season?
Scottyi: I feel pretty bad for those spoiled people who can't appreciate all 4 seasons... it means that they're depressed for 3/6/9 months out of the year. I love the breeze in autumn, the harsh fury of winter snowstorms, the beautiful week of tree blossoms in spring, and the warm rain of summer. It's all special and we must thank our Creator for every precious moment of His glorious creation. Also, I like summer because I look awesome in wife beaters.
Angrygirl: Duh. Watermelon, peaches, nectarines, pineapple, strawberries all in season. On the East Coast, people naturally gravitate outside and become social, hanging out at free events or farmers' markets. On the West Coast, it's the best time to go to the beach or jump in a friend's pool. And on a certain day in the summer I also get cake and candles.
(Y)MC: Summer is sometimes the best season, except when the weather gets to be too hot to wear even just shorts and a thin t-shirt. But I'll take summer over snow...any day!
Lily: Nope and I've never understood why so many people like it. It's the worst because you have to work a summer job and it's really hot. Doing homework is more fun than entry-level jobs, and way more of your friends are around during the school year. Also the sun hates people because it glares at them with its burning eye like Sauron.
Joses: Caveat - I grew up in the tropics, which is either summer all year long, or no summer at all, depending on the way you see things. I personally have an affinity for winter. There's something bracing about the cold and the dark that gets me more pensive (and intellectually more productive) than the summer. In my experience, the freedom offered by summer fools me into thinking I can get more done in those months - more reading, more thinking, more partying, more shopping etc. That's just not true.
2. What is the best summer song of all time?
Scottyi: 90s West Coast rap songs--windows down, subwoofer turned all the way up. Feeling so pimp. If you want something low key, Dr. Dre's "Nuthin' But a 'G' Thang" is perfect for driving down the road at sunset. Coolio's "Fantastic Voyage" hits the sweet spot when you're on your way to a party.
Angrygirl: Surfaris -- Wipeout
(Y)MC: Two great summer songs: Bananarama - Cruel Summer and DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - Summertime. I would've included that LFO song about Chinese food and Abercrombie. But since you (Miller) alluded to it in an earlier post, I don't want to take anything away from your credibility as a blogger and diminish your earnings from blogging.
Lily: Is this like, music you listen to on the radio? I don't know any summer songs but recently I've been feeling the soundtrack to Wicked...
Joses: Two songs come to mind (It's summer, I'm allowed two instead of just one tune.)
Summer of '69 - Bryan Adams: Why does summer inevitably equate to long-lost youth, first loves, and (ultimately) sheer happiness? It's thanks to the perfect piece of rock Bryan Adams composed in the 80s. Ironically, this song makes us nostalgic not for the late 60s, but for the 80s.
Stereo Love - Vika Jigulina and Edward Maya: This track wafts over the shore like a warm sea breeze, caressing your hair as you snooze again on the deck chair. Ed and Vika have bottled summer up in here.
3. What is the most must-see movie of the summer?
Scottyi: I hated the first two Fast & Furious movies, but ever since Justin Lin took it over it's become cinematic brilliance. "Fast 5" was the best entry in the series, which is probably the first time you could say that about a part 5. The cool thing about the franchise is that it's both retrogressive and progressive: retro because it harkens back to the old school action movies of musclebound machismo with codes of honor, but progressive because these movies are "post-racial." The cast is culturally diverse, and while enemies are often from different ethnic backgrounds, no one ever succumbs to racial slurs. Out of the entire 10-man crew in "Fast 5," Paul Walker is the only white guy...! That's amazing.
Angrygirl: Duh. HARRY POTTER LAST MOVIE EVER :((((((
or, Glee Live! 3D! (yes those exclamations are part of the title). Just kidding, Glee sucks and jumped the shark a long time ago.
(Y)MC: Summer blockbusters... My favorites are "I Know What You Did Last Summer" (1997), "I Still Know What You Did Last Summer" (1998), "I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer" (2006, straight to video release), and the forthcoming "I'll Always Forever and Ever Know What You Did Last Summer as well as What You'll Do Next Summer" (2012?).
Lily: HARRY FRICKIN POTTER
Joses: I'll give four answers to the four different ways you can read this question.
a. Best movie to be ever released in the summer blockbuster season - Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight.
b. Best movie released in this current summer blockbuster season - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II. It's the end of an era.
c. Best movie about summer - A close friend of mine recommends Across The Universe.
d. Best movie(s) to watch during summer - Lord of The Rings Extended Trilogy. When else are you gonna find the time?!
4. Do you think tanning enhances or depreciates physical appearance?
Scottyi: I'm not attracted to the tanned look. It looks like girls are trying too hard. And then there's the tanning that goes so overboard that their skin literally looks orange--they look like giant oompa-loompas. Gross, ladies. Have fun with your skin cancer.
Angrygirl: My mom brainwashed me to forever associate tanning with skin cancer. I might've thought she was overreacting if it hadn't been for the teen girly magazines that also said similar things with scary sounding words like "melanoma." As a result I apply sunscreen regularly (although I tend to forget my arms, so my arms are perpetually darker than my face). Now the choice is between being tan/possibly-seriously-sick vs. pale/looking-sickly. It's a tough life.
(Y)MC: Tanning never made sense to me. Yes, you end up looking darker... but at the expense of increasing your risk of getting skin cancer/melanoma? Completely not worth it. You can do your future generation(s) a huge favor though by combining your genes with those of a person with a darker skin complexion, e.g. Asians, Africans, Hispanic/Herspanic people, etc. (White person, please note.)
Lily: I wish we were back in the 1800s when not tanned skin was more in! It's so much healthier for people not to tan!
Joses: I think most people would agree having a tan, that wasn't obtained through tanning lotion or lying in front of light bulbs, is physically attractive. But you have to balance that with the risk of skin cancer. So the best way to get a tan is through hereditary means - have a mother and a father who both have naturally darker skin. Which, unfortunately, is beyond your means now.....
5. Summer Fling: Good or Bad Idea?
Scottyi: Summer's the best time to set up really great date ideas (campfire, walks on the beach, lying on your roof staring at the stars). But it's also the time when people are in very fragile transitional periods--people are getting ready to move, or on vacation, or on temp jobs. So if you're looking for something long-term while you're in a temporary situation, that seems like a recipe for disaster to me. Best to have a "Roman Holiday" mentality: enjoy the time for what it is, but don't let your expectations get the better of you.
Angrygirl: Fling schmling. Relationships shouldn't be seasonal.
(Y)MC: As a rule of thumb, summer flings are always, always, always good ideas as long as nobody gets pregnant. And who knows, sometimes summer flings can turn into lasting and meaningful relationships that may or may not include pregnancy along the way.
Lily: Been there, done that. Mixed feelings, but I did learn a lot.
Joses: Yes, It's time for another Good Idea/Bad Idea!
This question gets most people hot and bothered, because of the word "fling". If someone asked you, "Is a Summer Romance/Courtship a good idea?", of course you'd say "Yes!" So, the real question is, are flings a good idea at all? This is a question that merits more attention than I can give it now. Suffice to say, if you're OK with having a fling at all (whatever a fling might mean to you), then there's nothing wrong with a Summer Fling.
No one talks about a Winter Fling. Isn't it a better idea? What better way to pass the dark and cold than in someone else's warm arms? And you can dump them after they've put on all that Christmas fat.
About the Panelists:
Scottyi is excited because he just took his wife beater out of the drier. His website is www.sacredraisincakes.com / Angrygirl becomes less angry after hanging out on the beach. / (Y)MC is a son, brother, and husband. During his spare time, he enjoys long walks on the beach, authentic Taiwanese food, and streaming movies online. He believes almost all heterosexual inter-racial relationships are severely skewed, favor the white man, and consequently further disenfranchise the Asian male demographic group. As such, he has embarked on a personal mission to restore the balance in the world of inter-racial love-making. / Lily is an INTJ who prefers the library to every other building on campus. I like puzzles, classical music, and chess. My favorite thing to do online is stalk people on facebook and fill out my google calendar. / Joses grew up in Singapore, where it's pretty much summer all year round. Kinda boring, if you ask him. He tweets regularly at www.twitter.com/jacuzzijo.
1. Is summer the best season?
Scottyi: I feel pretty bad for those spoiled people who can't appreciate all 4 seasons... it means that they're depressed for 3/6/9 months out of the year. I love the breeze in autumn, the harsh fury of winter snowstorms, the beautiful week of tree blossoms in spring, and the warm rain of summer. It's all special and we must thank our Creator for every precious moment of His glorious creation. Also, I like summer because I look awesome in wife beaters.
Angrygirl: Duh. Watermelon, peaches, nectarines, pineapple, strawberries all in season. On the East Coast, people naturally gravitate outside and become social, hanging out at free events or farmers' markets. On the West Coast, it's the best time to go to the beach or jump in a friend's pool. And on a certain day in the summer I also get cake and candles.
(Y)MC: Summer is sometimes the best season, except when the weather gets to be too hot to wear even just shorts and a thin t-shirt. But I'll take summer over snow...any day!
Lily: Nope and I've never understood why so many people like it. It's the worst because you have to work a summer job and it's really hot. Doing homework is more fun than entry-level jobs, and way more of your friends are around during the school year. Also the sun hates people because it glares at them with its burning eye like Sauron.
Joses: Caveat - I grew up in the tropics, which is either summer all year long, or no summer at all, depending on the way you see things. I personally have an affinity for winter. There's something bracing about the cold and the dark that gets me more pensive (and intellectually more productive) than the summer. In my experience, the freedom offered by summer fools me into thinking I can get more done in those months - more reading, more thinking, more partying, more shopping etc. That's just not true.
2. What is the best summer song of all time?
Scottyi: 90s West Coast rap songs--windows down, subwoofer turned all the way up. Feeling so pimp. If you want something low key, Dr. Dre's "Nuthin' But a 'G' Thang" is perfect for driving down the road at sunset. Coolio's "Fantastic Voyage" hits the sweet spot when you're on your way to a party.
Angrygirl: Surfaris -- Wipeout
(Y)MC: Two great summer songs: Bananarama - Cruel Summer and DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - Summertime. I would've included that LFO song about Chinese food and Abercrombie. But since you (Miller) alluded to it in an earlier post, I don't want to take anything away from your credibility as a blogger and diminish your earnings from blogging.
Lily: Is this like, music you listen to on the radio? I don't know any summer songs but recently I've been feeling the soundtrack to Wicked...
Joses: Two songs come to mind (It's summer, I'm allowed two instead of just one tune.)
Summer of '69 - Bryan Adams: Why does summer inevitably equate to long-lost youth, first loves, and (ultimately) sheer happiness? It's thanks to the perfect piece of rock Bryan Adams composed in the 80s. Ironically, this song makes us nostalgic not for the late 60s, but for the 80s.
Stereo Love - Vika Jigulina and Edward Maya: This track wafts over the shore like a warm sea breeze, caressing your hair as you snooze again on the deck chair. Ed and Vika have bottled summer up in here.
3. What is the most must-see movie of the summer?
Scottyi: I hated the first two Fast & Furious movies, but ever since Justin Lin took it over it's become cinematic brilliance. "Fast 5" was the best entry in the series, which is probably the first time you could say that about a part 5. The cool thing about the franchise is that it's both retrogressive and progressive: retro because it harkens back to the old school action movies of musclebound machismo with codes of honor, but progressive because these movies are "post-racial." The cast is culturally diverse, and while enemies are often from different ethnic backgrounds, no one ever succumbs to racial slurs. Out of the entire 10-man crew in "Fast 5," Paul Walker is the only white guy...! That's amazing.
Angrygirl: Duh. HARRY POTTER LAST MOVIE EVER :((((((
or, Glee Live! 3D! (yes those exclamations are part of the title). Just kidding, Glee sucks and jumped the shark a long time ago.
(Y)MC: Summer blockbusters... My favorites are "I Know What You Did Last Summer" (1997), "I Still Know What You Did Last Summer" (1998), "I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer" (2006, straight to video release), and the forthcoming "I'll Always Forever and Ever Know What You Did Last Summer as well as What You'll Do Next Summer" (2012?).
Lily: HARRY FRICKIN POTTER
Joses: I'll give four answers to the four different ways you can read this question.
a. Best movie to be ever released in the summer blockbuster season - Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight.
b. Best movie released in this current summer blockbuster season - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II. It's the end of an era.
c. Best movie about summer - A close friend of mine recommends Across The Universe.
d. Best movie(s) to watch during summer - Lord of The Rings Extended Trilogy. When else are you gonna find the time?!
4. Do you think tanning enhances or depreciates physical appearance?
Scottyi: I'm not attracted to the tanned look. It looks like girls are trying too hard. And then there's the tanning that goes so overboard that their skin literally looks orange--they look like giant oompa-loompas. Gross, ladies. Have fun with your skin cancer.
Angrygirl: My mom brainwashed me to forever associate tanning with skin cancer. I might've thought she was overreacting if it hadn't been for the teen girly magazines that also said similar things with scary sounding words like "melanoma." As a result I apply sunscreen regularly (although I tend to forget my arms, so my arms are perpetually darker than my face). Now the choice is between being tan/possibly-seriously-sick vs. pale/looking-sickly. It's a tough life.
(Y)MC: Tanning never made sense to me. Yes, you end up looking darker... but at the expense of increasing your risk of getting skin cancer/melanoma? Completely not worth it. You can do your future generation(s) a huge favor though by combining your genes with those of a person with a darker skin complexion, e.g. Asians, Africans, Hispanic/Herspanic people, etc. (White person, please note.)
Lily: I wish we were back in the 1800s when not tanned skin was more in! It's so much healthier for people not to tan!
Joses: I think most people would agree having a tan, that wasn't obtained through tanning lotion or lying in front of light bulbs, is physically attractive. But you have to balance that with the risk of skin cancer. So the best way to get a tan is through hereditary means - have a mother and a father who both have naturally darker skin. Which, unfortunately, is beyond your means now.....
5. Summer Fling: Good or Bad Idea?
Scottyi: Summer's the best time to set up really great date ideas (campfire, walks on the beach, lying on your roof staring at the stars). But it's also the time when people are in very fragile transitional periods--people are getting ready to move, or on vacation, or on temp jobs. So if you're looking for something long-term while you're in a temporary situation, that seems like a recipe for disaster to me. Best to have a "Roman Holiday" mentality: enjoy the time for what it is, but don't let your expectations get the better of you.
Angrygirl: Fling schmling. Relationships shouldn't be seasonal.
(Y)MC: As a rule of thumb, summer flings are always, always, always good ideas as long as nobody gets pregnant. And who knows, sometimes summer flings can turn into lasting and meaningful relationships that may or may not include pregnancy along the way.
Lily: Been there, done that. Mixed feelings, but I did learn a lot.
Joses: Yes, It's time for another Good Idea/Bad Idea!
This question gets most people hot and bothered, because of the word "fling". If someone asked you, "Is a Summer Romance/Courtship a good idea?", of course you'd say "Yes!" So, the real question is, are flings a good idea at all? This is a question that merits more attention than I can give it now. Suffice to say, if you're OK with having a fling at all (whatever a fling might mean to you), then there's nothing wrong with a Summer Fling.
No one talks about a Winter Fling. Isn't it a better idea? What better way to pass the dark and cold than in someone else's warm arms? And you can dump them after they've put on all that Christmas fat.
About the Panelists:
Scottyi is excited because he just took his wife beater out of the drier. His website is www.sacredraisincakes.com / Angrygirl becomes less angry after hanging out on the beach. / (Y)MC is a son, brother, and husband. During his spare time, he enjoys long walks on the beach, authentic Taiwanese food, and streaming movies online. He believes almost all heterosexual inter-racial relationships are severely skewed, favor the white man, and consequently further disenfranchise the Asian male demographic group. As such, he has embarked on a personal mission to restore the balance in the world of inter-racial love-making. / Lily is an INTJ who prefers the library to every other building on campus. I like puzzles, classical music, and chess. My favorite thing to do online is stalk people on facebook and fill out my google calendar. / Joses grew up in Singapore, where it's pretty much summer all year round. Kinda boring, if you ask him. He tweets regularly at www.twitter.com/jacuzzijo.
Friday, June 10, 2011
6/10 Friday Friendzone: Battle of the Sexes (Part 1)
Welcome back to my friendzone...where escape is nearly impossible!
This week we begin a 2-part series called Battle of the Sexes with an all-male panel responding to questions about the female kind...and next week we'll hear what females have to say about the guys! Man...I can just feel the testosterone already....
1. What is your understanding of PMS?
Scott knows that guys are just as messed up as girls, if not more so--he just wants to make sure you know that girls are messed up too, alright?! You can read more of his messed up opinions at sacredraisincakes.com. / Joses spent many a night sleeping in the same bed as Miller. He now lives and studies in Oxford. / (Y)MC is a son, brother, and husband. During his spare time, he enjoys long walks on the beach, authentic Taiwanese food, and streaming movies online. He believes almost all heterosexual inter-racial relationships are severely skewed, favor the white man, and consequently further disenfranchise the Asian male demographic group. As such, he has embarked on a personal mission to restore the balance in the world of inter-racial love-making. / Jimmy is a self-proclaimed "man among boys." Not a pompous statement, just a job description. / Rob is a freelance digital artist and musician. He would love for you to have a great day today.
This week we begin a 2-part series called Battle of the Sexes with an all-male panel responding to questions about the female kind...and next week we'll hear what females have to say about the guys! Man...I can just feel the testosterone already....
Scott: It's one of those things that really separates the female condition from the male experience--hormonal chaos in a monthly ritual of biological entrapment. I will never understand what it feels like to have an egg pass through my body and be sucked into a tampon in one bloody reminder of reproductive potentiality. So on the one hand, I do sympathize with women for the burden their bodies place on them. But on the other hand, I think there's few things in life more annoying and useless than trying to reason with a female in the middle of a mood swing.
Joses: PMS stands for Perpetual Menstrual Syndrome, contrary to a widespread and erroneous belief that the 'P' stands for 'pre'. In essence it refers to the state of being where one's emotions contradict facial expression, and where every word uttered is fraught with double meanings and hidden agendas. Note that this afflicts members of either gender.
(Y)MC: I think that's basically just like a few days of ridiculous hysteria and massive emotional instability that precedes the shedding of uterine lining in women. This occurs on a monthly basis and is typically synchronized to the waning and waxing of the moon. But to be honest, I don't really know. My wife can definitely more accurate and professional insights into this subject matter.
Jimmy: There is an imbalance of hormones because she was waiting to find out whether or not the stork was going to come visit later. She finds out that the stork isn't coming to visit, and the extra hormones she had for the potential stork visit screws her up. Or some lame excuse like that, anyway.
Rob: Psychotic Mood Swings. Shortly followed by Potential Murder Suspect.
2. Is it true that girls are more mature than guys?
Scott: You know how girls peak at their early twenties, but guys can reach their peak much later in life? For example, 40s Brad Pitt and George Clooney are way more dashing than their younger versions. You know why that is? It's physiologic irony due to the arrogance girls have in thinking they're more mature than guys: because they think they're so mature, girls' bodies age faster and their looks accordingly degrade at a rate directly proportional to their pretentiousness.Joses: No. Although guys tend to be cheesier, a sign of the prolonged adolescence of our time. The real question is, whose cheesiness is more mature? That depends primarily what temperature you leave your cheesiness in.
(Y)MC: Assuming that age(male) = age(female), I suppose it is generally accepted that maturity(female) > maturity(male). But I'd like to emphasize an important point: maturity isn't necessarily a desirable characteristic (especially if your target audience is really, really young). Immaturity is the new sexiness, no?
Jimmy: I'm going to hear from this because of my occasional behavioral choices, but I think NO, girls are not more mature than guys. I think that the society defines maturity as acting mature, or, more often, not acting immature. I define maturity by the ability to react to any given situation (especially a difficult/adverse situation). In my experience, at the same age group, guys are much better at dealing with tough situations than girls. Sorry ladies (or maybe I've just hung out with extra manly men in my life.)
Rob: Immaturity can present itself in many ways, but what grabs our attention is the loud & obnoxious kind. There could be just as many immature girls, they're just not as easy to spot. What is certain is this: a person's maturity doesn't necessarily increase with age.
3. Is it okay for a girl to "wear the pants" in the relationship?
Scott: It's ok for girls to offer solutions and best practices, what the guy should do is know when to defer to the knowledge of his female partner and when to trust his own decisions. I think that's what male leadership should mean--humility to follow the counsel of others when appropriate. Also, I know that some girls like to wear pants to show off their butts because they're superficial like that, but skirts are way cuter. I love those T-Mobile 4G commercials with the girl in the pink dresses... she's adorable!!! Joses: In a relationship, you've gotta give her a reason to wear the dress. Like it was worn by Kate Middleton, or if it was designed by Vera Wang. Or like, she just looks great wearing that dress (That line usually works).
Although, if you're a male slave of the Amazons, you don't really have a choice. Just suck it up like a man, bro.
(Y)MC: Yes, I think it's okay for a girl to "wear the pants," but I try to make sure that I wear it more often than she does. But honestly, I think this whole pants-wearing thing should be equal opportunity amongst the two people in the relationship.
Jimmy: I believe that a girl can wear "some" pants, but I not "the" pants. I grew up in a household with a very manly (John Wayne-ish) father, but also a very confident, outspoken mother. For a man to lead doesn't require a woman to change who she is and blindly follow her male counterpart. It means the guy MANS UP and leads, and the girl accepts that leadership. This puts the pressure on the men to be good leaders and make good decisions (it's easy to be led by a good leader. Men...Man up).
Rob: I find confidence in a woman very attractive, but the negative connotation commonly associated with this phrase makes me think of a controlling, insecure micro manager, which is . . . not attractive. A man needs to be a man.
4. Finish this statement: I hate it when girls....
Scott: Play mind games. Don't lie to me, I know you do it, and I know you teach each other how to do it. It's so repugnant to use such psychological tricks to manipulate unsuspecting, oblivious guys who are desperate for affection and thus will read into everything a cute girl does toward him. They do it without even knowing they're doing it--making flirtatious jokes with a guy friend isn't friendship, it's irresponsible. Joses: step out of the house with wet hair. Freshly washed hair does smell nice but doesn't look great. Start early - give yourself time to blow/towel dry your crowning glory.
(Y)MC: get together and talk about stupid TV shows like Sex in the City and Lipstick Jungle (the latter of which I once watched religiously). I also hate it when girls talk about "oh my boyfriend did this..." or "ya my husband did that." SHUT YOUR FACE, WOMEN. And those guys need to stop being such over-achievers and making the rest of us look bad. Doesn't anyone honor the Bro Code these days?
Jimmy: Point out when they think they look unattractive in pictures. For several reasons. 1- They're often WRONG. 2- Not everyone is photogenic ALL the time (well...maybe Joses). 3- Voicing a possible insecurity can often make you more insecure. Come on, ladies, you're better (and better looking) than that.
Rob: ... are not authentic. ... lack understanding/perspective. ... are consumed with gossip. ... flake out.
5. Finish this statement: I love it when girls....
Scott: Are into "guy stuff." Sports, comic books, red meat and fast food, sci-fi movies and video games. Not only does it mean that the girl has really good taste, but to me it's a mark of independence and a care-free spirit for a girl to be into things that aren't considered very appropriate for her. I know "Smallville" is a mediocre TV show, but when a girl wants to watch the same crappy thing I do out of pure dork intentions, that's pretty sexy. In a non-sexy kind of way, I suppose.
Joses: Smile.
(Y)MC: I love it when girls stay in the kitchen and cook delicious yet refined food. I also love it when girls nurture their skills in being or becoming a good, solid, and reliable domestic engineer -- responsibilities include, but are not limited to: cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, grocery shopping, mowing the lawn, shoveling snow, taking out the trash, checking my children's homework, packing lunches, organizing carpools, writing thank-you notes, wrapping gifts, origami, etc.
Jimmy: Look attractive while dressing modestly. It can show class, good decision making, and a confidence that they don't have to dress a certain way to get attention (...unless they're trying to get my attention).
Rob: ... are comfortable in their own skin. ... are good listeners. ... have clear and passionate goals. ... have a confident, humble beauty about them.
About the Panelists:
Friday, May 27, 2011
5/27 Friday Friendzone: Just Friends?
Every Friday, I'll be inviting some of my friends to my "Friendzone" to answer some juicy questions on some hot topic (Not limited to dating/relationships, although I'm sure that will be a frequent topic). This week's panelists are: Scott, Angrygirl, Jimmy, Lily, and (Y)MC.
This week’s topic is: Just Friends. How do you become more than just friends? Can you be even be just friends? Let's see what our panelists had to say...
1. How do you know if a guy/girl likes you?
Scott: This is the easiest thing to figure out, and the one that most people seem to ignore all the time. If someone likes you, they'll want to be with you as much as possible. If you want to know if someone likes you, invite them to simple things like getting a coffee or a meal. Then invite them to things that will take more time for them to plan, like running errands together. Finally invite them to things that you know will be a big sacrifice of their time, like getting them to go to a volunteering event you know they have no interest in. If they consistently make time for you, you're in. If they consistently decline, especially on the simple ones, then forget about it.
Angrygirl: When a guy shows more attention, does nice/sweet things for you, remembers things you've said and acts upon them.. and he only does this with you. That is, his treatment is markedly different from how he treats other girls.
Guys can tell whether their feelings are reciprocated by the response to this stuff. Smiles, genuine hearty laughter, playing along are all positive indications. Tight forced smiles, nervous laughter, conversation killers are signs you should back off. It's really all about the tone and HOW things are being said as opposed to WHAT is being said. "Thanks!" with a smile and a rise in tone is good. "Thanks...." or a curt "Thanks." with a forced smile is probably not good.
Jimmy: Is it bad that I don't think I can answer this question? It's been a few years...
Lily: Me? Personally? If he says so. I'm not so good at the non-verbal communication. Maybe also if he likes talking to me a lot, or if he treats me differently than other girls. A guy knows I like him if I try to create situations where we can hang out one on one, if I make up an excuse to call him, if I try to get all his online chat info (IM, gchat, Skype). However, I've done this at some point with guys who are just friends, only much more rarely. I personally try to make sure the guy doesn't like me though, before doing all that. Sorry guys, you'll never know until you ask. I'm glad I'm not a guy, because it sounds really scary! But in my opinion that's just the way it usually is in Christian circles.
(Y)MC: The most telling sign of a guy's interest in you is if he keeps popping up in your life without having been invited. He'll show up at social gatherings, meetings that he doesn't actually care about, your neighborhood, or even the public bathroom just to create opportunities to be near/with you. As for indication of a girl's interest in you... they never say it explicitly. It's helpful if you are at least quasi-fluent in a foreign language or ASL, as these skills should enable you to better interpret confusing female signals.
2. If a guy likes a girl, what should he do to get her attention? What if the roles are reversed, what should she do to get his attention?
Scott: This is the most gender-biased problem to solve. Guys should NEVER be nice to a girl whose attention they want, but girls should ALWAYS be nice to a guy whose attention they want. Basically, girls are used to being treated well ever since they were little, while the opposite is true of guys. Girls expect to be treated nicely, it's par for the course in a post-feminist society. You're not gonna stick out. Being cocky, or mysterious, or a badass, is gonna make you stick out. On the other hand, make a dude a sandwich and he's putty in your hands.
Angrygirl: The gestures that stand out in my mind are those that showed the guy was really listening and had a sense of humor to know how to play off his knowledge of me. For instance I mentioned one time to a guy that I had just been to CVS and they didn't have the flavor of Dentyne Ice I wanted. A few days later a package came in the mail with a candy company return address, and inside I found packs and packs of Dentyne Ice spearmint. Another time I playfully argued with a guy over the merits of curry (he didn't think curry was good.. what a weirdo) and he decided to take me to a curry restaurant on our first date to "settle the debate." Stuff like this is definitely not platonic and clearly signals interest. Disclaimer: I think it really depends on the person. What draws my attention wouldn't necessarily be the same for someone else.
What does a girl need to do? Not much... because guys seem to be perpetually on the prowl for a girl. I actually think guys might be turned off by girls actively trying to be noticed and that instead, it's the girl who's being herself that eventually draws the interest of the guys who are scoping the field..
Jimmy: Give her attention. Show an interest in who she is and what she likes. However, do so in a way that is different from your interactions with other female friends. Or, just be bold and forthcoming right off the bat.
Lily: One good conversation trick that I try to use is stopping at the peak. Lots of people, if they really like another person, will talk all the way through the conversation, setting, rising action, climax, falling action, denouement (it's like a story!). They talk all the way until the conversation has completely petered out and has become boring. Instead, it's better to stop at a high point, even though it's SO tempting to keep talking right then. Why? Because you'll end the conversation on a high note, leave the person with the impression that you're both interesting and busy with more than just them (which is also very attractive), and you'll leave them wanting to see you again.
(Y)MC: Depends. Obviously, in order to succeed, you'll first have to figure out what she likes and dislikes, and then you would tailor your strategery to maximize exposure and create a high rate of return for your time, finances, and emotional investment. For a girl to get a guy's attention, typically skimping on the clothing or developing a "loose" reputation will effectively help a girl garner attention from the opposite sex (including attention from currently registered and future soon-to-be registered sex offenders).
3. How do you know if you're on a date?
Scott: I stick to the position that says there are "friend dates" and "date-dates." Friend dates can be intentional, like taking someone out to coffee that you just met at church, or unintentional, like holding an impromptu late night study session. Date-dates must be intentional, in that both parties recognize romantic potential is involved, with initiative and planning necessarily required. Single young adult men are great at friend dates, but unfortunately on date-dates a lot us tend to suffer from performance anxiety.
Angrygirl: In an ideal world, guys would ask girls out and then say something really obvious, like "alright, it's a date." But for various reasons this doesn't happen and then girls usually realize ON the date that the guy considers it a date. If both parties are single, and the guy is opening doors and paying for everything and takes to you a very nice steak restaurant where there are linen napkins and sides come separate... yeah that's a date. Also unusual behavior can also be a sign-- dressing nicer than usual, being flirty, yadada.
Honestly to me it seems so TIRING to try and decipher whether or not something is a date so I would take the direct approach and ask, "is this a date?" You will get one of two responses: "No" = not a date. "Ummmm" = he was hoping it was but now that you ask he has no idea what to say.
Both approaches (deciphering or asking straight out) have high possibilities for awkwardness so I say just ask straight out.
Jimmy: If I ask her on a date. Men/boys: it only counts if you ASK her out. Don't be a wuss and hope for coincidental 1v1 hangouts.
Lily: Easiest/best way: the person who asks the other person out says that it's a date. Usually in dating relationships, the simplest way is the best way. There are 'signs' that can show me I've been asked on a date, like a nice restaurant where the guy pays and/or just the two of us going somewhere special, but it's nice not to have to agonize over 'the signs.'
(Y)MC: You're most likely going to be on a date if one of you had mentioned the word "date" before getting together. Also, if you hold hands, kiss, or participate in activities of further physical intimacy, you're probably even more likely to be on a date. As a rule of thumb, I always, always, always kiss on the first date.
4. Can guys and girls just be friends?
Scott: Yes, if the guy thinks the girl is unattractive. Only temporarily, if he thinks the girl is attractive but she has a boyfriend. Girls will be miffed by this assertion, but it's true. This is why girls have "zones" and guys have "ladders." To a guy, every non-ugly female friend can potentially be something more, and even ones which they didn't initially consider attractive can become attractive. The lines between "liking" and "loving" are blurred in the male brain. This is not true for girls. A friend is a friend, a lover is a lover, and never the twain shall meet!!
Angrygirl: Until a few months ago I thought this was yes. Then my boyfriend named three people in the last couple of years who were romantically interested in me when, at the time, I thought it was very clear to all parties that I was just buddies with the guy. I think girls have a tendency to think it's possible to have a perfectly platonic relationship with a guy, but from my experience it seems like guys can easily jump from "just a friend" to "want to date."
Jimmy: Yes. I do think that there can be a relationship that's purely friendship.(Meaning that there can exist a relationship where neither party will want anything more than friendship). However, I think every friendship has moments when one person (or both) at least considers the possibilty of more than a friendship.
Lily: Sort of. You have to be honest with your motives in this area. I've known a lot of people (myself included) who tried to make themselves believe they were just being friends with someone when they actually liked that person. I've also seen this scenario. Person A says they just want to be friends with Person B. B likes A, and A doesn't like B (in that way) at all. But for some reason, A INSISTS that they have to be close friends with B, even though it's driving B crazy. Please, A, leave poor B alone. You don't have to be friends with them. (I see girls do this a lot, but I've seen guys do it too.) If you want to keep a person of the opposite gender just as a friend, then one way to assure this is to have a few friends of your own gender to confide in.
(Y)MC: Guys and girls can be friends once they finish middle school/junior high school. But sometimes you can run into really sticky situations, like what the girls from Sugar Jones are talking about in this video: http://www.youtube.com/
5. Can guys and girls be friends again after they’ve dated or almost dated?
Scott: The person who answers "yes" to this question is the one who initiated the breakup, because they're ignorant and self-centered. You can only be friends with somebody if you want to be friends. The person who wanted to break up obviously wants the relationship downgraded to a friendship, so they'll ALWAYS say yes. The one whose heart is broken doesn't want just a friendship, he or she wanted something more. If this person says "yes" it's only because: a). they're used to being walked over by people and won't stick up for themselves, b). they hold out hope for the future, sadly, or c). their heart wasn't really broken, like they were secretly hoping to get out too or their mom didn't approve of the girl because she had a fat face.
Angrygirl: Yes, BUT there needs to be time and emotional distance first. Or as my wise crazy mom said, "Just avoid him." Sounds extreme, but I'm grateful I took her advice because I've seen so many friends go through break up, followed by "let's be friends" to take the burn off breaking up, followed by ambiguity with the dumpee experiencing confusion and the dumper experiencing obliviousness or guilt, followed by a second, real break up where the dumpee realizes the hope they had for restoring the relationship was actually all in their head and the dumper totally didn't mean to do that, "I thought we were just friends." If you want to be friends in the future there has to be no hope for becoming more-than-friends, which usually requires a (hopefully temporary) stop in communication. Think of it like an eyebrow tweeze-- quick, initially painful, but infinitely better in the end.
Also the guy my mom told me to leave alone? Didn't talk to him until 3 years later when school scheduling put us back into contact and he is now one of my closest guy friends. And because we've had that history there's more confidence on both sides that we are in fact, just friends.
Jimmy: Yes, I believe they can, but I think past events like that can potentially stifle that relationship from developing into a strong friendship. It can be harder to get close to someone (purly as a friend) after a dating relationship.
Lily: Imo, not usually. If the liking was mutual, then it's impossible for me at least to become friends with the person again. Maybe cordial acquaintances, but even being within the same friend GROUP would be difficult. Even if the breakup was amicable. That said, I know there are some people who can go back to being friends again much easier than I can. So it's a case by case basis. Note: if only one of the two finds it difficult to go back to being friends, the other one should be sensitive to that. On the other hand, if the linking was one-sided and that person talked to the other and realized the other didn't feel the same way, I think it's easier to go back to being friends. As long as the liked person doesn't take advantage of the liker's emotions.
(Y)MC: Theoretically possible, but there's going to be some inevitable awkwardness. In my personal life, I haven't talked to ex's since those relationships ended years ago. Save the drama for their mama...?!
About the Panelists:
Scott Yi is a student at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary and a campus minister at Brown University. He is single, poor, and short, so he doesn't have much going for him. You can read more of his thoughts at www.sacredraisincakes.com. / Angrygirl is a DC yuppie. / Jimmy is an educator of forest-dwelling high school boys. / Lily is an INTJ (Myers Briggs), and since most INTJs are guys, her advice might be unusual. She’s read a lot of good Christian literature on dating (and some not so good, like the dreaded Henry Cloud). She’s been in two relationships, both long-distance. / (Y)MC is a son, brother, and husband. During his spare time, he enjoys long walks on the beach, authentic Taiwanese food, and streaming movies online. He believes almost all heterosexual inter-racial relationships are severely skewed, favor the white man, and consequently further disenfranchise the Asian male demographic group. As such, he has embarked on a personal mission to restore the balance in the world of inter-racial love-making.
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