7/29 Friday Friendzone: End-of-Life Edition

This week's topic is a bit morbid, but incredibly thought-provoking.  It was so intriguing that I have invite 8 of my friends into my friendzone this week AND...for the first time ever, I will also include my answers to the questions!  So without further ado, here we go:


1. What age would you like to live until? Why?
Scottyi: Until tomorrow. Jk, but only slightly. I think the only wish I have concerning the timing of my death is that I'd like it to be after my parents pass away. I think losing your child has to be the worst kind of suffering. Other than that... whatevs. I'm a believer in Philippians 1:23. Miller, if it does happen soon, you can have my rice cooker.
Lily: 90 or so.  But I want to be one of the 'young old,' not the 'old old.'  Those are actual terms in development psychology classes!
Georgea: If I had to choose...If I have kids, I'd rather die older - at least old enough to see grandkids 'cause it'll be fun to see how two generations down are.  If not, no preference - whenever my work is done.
thetotoromonster: old enough so that it's not "a pity" that i died (at least 50-60?). my parents invested so many resources into me while i was growing up; now, i want to make the most of their investment and die after i have done something useful in my life!!
Joses: 64. That means I will die in the year 2046. Which happens to be a good film.
Annamelon: 91.  I actually don't wanna live that long, but I feel like I'm limiting my potential if I were to say I wanna die in my 80s, although I really think 87 sounds like a good age.  But really, I think it'd be fun to know my great-grandkiddos :)
Jimmy: 90s.  I want to be active throughout my life, so I can still be able to contribute to people mentally and emotionally in my final years. Also, It would be cool to hang out with my Great-Grandchildren.  Plus, I would totally love to play "old guy" a lot (pretend to forget things, wander into places and act confused.  Who said old age isn't fun?).
Angrygirl: What a morbid question. Honestly, I'm still getting over turning 23, which seems pretty old.
Miller: 75. It gives me enough time to probably see at least one grandchild even if my granddaughter or grandson's wife chooses to be a career woman.  Not sure if senior discounts kick in at 65 or 70, but 5-10 years of doing things cheaply sounds good enough.

2. What would be your preferred cause of death? Why?
Scottyi: Mortally wounded while rescuing sex slaves from a unit of fully armed traffickers, with enough evidence gathered after my demise to eventually lead to the toppling of a trafficking empire.
Lily: I wish to die in battle.  For honor!
Georgea: Not anything sudden (like a heart attack, car crash, murder etc.); something my family could come to terms with gradually?  But it's not up to me, right?
thetotoromonster: in my sleep because it sounds peaceful. unfortunately, it's not so peaceful for the people who find me!!! >:D wow, especially if i live alone and it takes a few days to find my rotting body. gross.
Joses: Gunshot to the hippocampus. Death is instant and painless. Since that would mean that someone will have to commit murder, or that I will have to commit suicide, I'll settle for dying in my sleep.
Annamelon: Saving a small child from an oncoming bus.  Useful & instantaneous.
Jimmy: Ideally...I'm single (not my whole life) and decently fit when the end comes.  I would get some sort of disease that wouldn't be treatable.  I'd hitch a ride out to the rockies, and just head into the mountains and wander until it's my time.
Angrygirl: Isn't everybody just going to say "in my sleep, because it's painless"? A small part of me wonders if I'd want to die in a meaningful way (i.e., somehow bring attention to Christianity) but a larger part of me fears what that could look like.
Miller: Executed for being a Christian....but honestly, I'm holding out for the rapture....so I'd like my obituary to say I "mysteriously vanished" and my clothing fell into a nice neat pile.

3. If money were no object, what would you want your last meal to be?
Scottyi: When I was a kid, there were a couple pharmacies that used to sell these pieces of gum shaped like bright rocks. They were packed in miniature milk cartons, and you'd open the cartons and shake the gum into your mouth. I once went online to try to find what the candy was called, but I never could. It'd be nice to have that again. Also, a dozen carnival elephant ears.
Lily: Some famous person was once asked what he would do if he knew it was his last day on earth.  He said I would work in my garden.  I think I'd do the same; therefore, I want my last meal to be a salad.
Georgea: The real mama kim's (my mama) cooking.  Something that involves kimchi.
thetotoromonster: well, then... this would be really strange because it would mean that i would be able to anticipate the hour of my death, like Jesus (who could also anticipate his resurrection - what foresight!)!  i don't know.  i think this question doesn't make sense in my head because i'm not Christ-like enough in the area of foresight-of-hour-of-death.
Joses: 10 course Chinese wedding dinner.
Annamelon: Appetizer of fried calamari.  Main entree(s) would consist of pad thai w/ extra peanuts, legit Mexican tacos al pastor, sushi (maybe some spider rolls or dragon rolls), and eggplant parmesan.  Dessert would start with tiramisu cheesecake and end with some juicy, plump red mangoes.  Oh, and this would all be accompanied by some mango mojitos b/c I love alcoholic drinks that taste like fruity toothpaste.
Jimmy: Seafood feast.  Since my fish allergy has progressed over time, I haven't eaten seafood in 11 years.  Lobster, Crab Cakes, peel-and-eat Shrimp, Clam Chowder.  YES.
Angrygirl: I guess I'd want to eat things I grew up with-- a bowl of white rice, my mom's tomato ox-tail soup, bowl of nikujaga (Japanese dish w/ carrots, potatoes, and beef), and a bowl of fruit (specifically raspberries, blackberries, mangoes, nectarines, pineapples, and watermelon). Drink would be some unsweetened iced tea.
Miller: I'm gonna hafta say Brazilian BBQ in Mainland China...to ensure that it would have Peking Duck and meats that white men do not touch.

4. Assuming that you're married, would you rather outlive your spouse or your spouse outlive you? 
Scottyi: My wife should definitely be the first to go. I'd be strong enough and courageous enough to make peace with my loss in the twilight of my years, but for my lover, she'd be so incredibly distraught at my passing that she'd lose the will to live, unable to cease from her grieving and instead becoming a real life Miss Havisham. (One of the few literary references I know you know, Miller)
Lily: I guess I'd rather my spouse outlived me... but that would be difficult since I'm very healthy and probably going to live for so long.
Georgea: Depends.  If I die young, be outlived; if I die old, outlive.
thetotoromonster: i would rather outlive my spouse so i can be bear the burden of grieving and so i can take care of him until the very end.  also, i love telling stories! if i outlive my spouse, he can count on his remembrance via my story-telling abilities!
Joses: Outlive me? I thought my wife gets interred with me in my pyramid, along with my children, cats, and those who read this blog.
Annamelon: Selfishly, I would want my spouse to outlive me.  I'm pretty needy and probably wouldn't know how to get by without him.
Jimmy: Outlive my spouse.  I would rather I go through the pain of that loss instead of her.
Angrygirl: If I'm being selfish, I would want my spouse to outlive me. HOWEVER, if my spouse is someone who seems really helpless on his own (e.g., can't take care of finances, can't cook for beans, can't take loneliness) then.. it might be comforting to outlive him if only because I'd know he didn't die in pathetic circumstances. If I felt lonely I could go buy a dog/cat, or bother my kids/grandkids, and in general be a sassy old person who doesn't take attitude from anybody.
Miller: Hmmm...I think if I outlived my wife, I'd be a wreck and be totally nonfunctional for at least a year.  So, while I wish I could say the opposite, I'd rather my wife outlive me.  Plus, I absolutely cannot stand eating alone.  It drives me crazy, I just can't eat.

5. What do you want on your tombstone (not pizza)?
Scottyi: I want to be cremated, and while everyone is enjoying the truffle carpaccio hor d'oeurvres at my wake, a video will play of me posthumously telling everyone that they've been punked, as there's nothing in the urn since my ashes were mixed into the truffle sauce. If I had to have a tombstone for the purposes of this question, I'd want my tombstone to be a marble statue of an astronaut wrestling a giant space squid, and underneath it says, "Here lies Scottyi, Hero of the 2nd Moon Monster Wars."
Lily: Definitely T. S. Eliot.  The greatest writer of our age.

We shall not cease from explorationAnd the end of all our exploringWill be to arrive where we startedAnd know the place for the first time.A condition of complete simplicity(Costing not less than everything)And all shall be well andAll manner of thing shall be wellWhen the tongues of flame are in-foldedInto the crowned knot of fireAnd the fire and the rose are one.

Georgea:  I don't know if I want to be buried.  Cremation?
thetotoromonster: i want it to be prominent so that my descendants will never forget where i'm buried!! i never knew how my mom remembered where my great-aunt was buried.  i haven't really thought far enough to decide what's on my tombstone.  i'll probably pull a J.K. Rowling and have a well-chosen Bible verse.  kinda makes me sad to think about it, but now it's on my to-do list (just in case).
Joses: My sarcophagus in my pyramid should have hieroglyphics around it depicting my various achievements, like when I completed Sonic the Hedgehog II.
Annamelon: I haven't decided if I want a tombstone.  I would like to be cremated and spend as little money on my funeral as possible, since really, it seems like it'd make more sense to spend money on other people who are still living.  But I guess a small tombstone would be nice so that loved ones could visit it?  If I actually did have a tombstone, maybe something to the effect of "Beloved child of God"
Jimmy: "Loving Son, Brother, Husband, Father, and Friend.  Loved by God." or "He lived, he loved, he dominated."
Angrygirl: I haven't done anything amazing (yet?) to warrant a shoutout on my tombstone. I guess I'd want to highlight my family and that I was (hopefully) a faithful believer. On my Tombstone brand pizza I would like pepperoni, mushrooms, and peppers, please.
Miller: "Shared the Gos-pel like it was Gos-sip"....okay maybe not that.  I prefer something like "Miller passionately believed that there was nothing more important in life than to follow God and help others follow God."

It's a good thing I probably won't be remembered most for blogging, otherwise my tombstone might read: "Miller outlived 50 different blogs that he could only maintain for a few weeks at a time.  His greatest blog, the Daily Millings, died on 7/29/2011 after a great two month run."  Yes, that last line is for real.  The Daily Millings are now dead.  All donations should be made out to the Mormon YouTube Channel and ChristianMingle.com.  Feel free to give a eulogy in the comments section below.

About the Panelists: If you strike Scottyi down, he shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine. His website is www.sacredraisincakes.com. / Lily is an INTJ who prefers the library to every other building on campus.  She likes puzzles, classical music, and chess.  Her favorite thing to do online is stalk people on facebook and fill out her google calendar. / Georgea is a student at Brown. / thetotoromonster - is she prepared for heaven and death? we'll let God decide. *dun dun dun* / Joses turns 27 very soon. He tweets at www.twitter.com/jacuzzijo. / Annamelon wants her funeral to be a big party where everyone wears bright colors, eats great food, laughs gregariously, and celebrates how awesome Jesus is, because she's gonna be upstairs kickin' it with the Big Guy. / Jimmy believes in life after love, and love after life. (and is still on his road trip) / Angrygirl laments the death of Daily Millings. / Miller totally thought this would be the most clever way to announce the death of the Daily Millings.  He would like to thank all his loyal readers for their support 2 months out of every 3 years!!!

Tombstone of the Daily Millings: "Some say life is a marathon...BUT a sprint is almost always more entertaining."

7/22 Friday Friendzone: (One) Word Association Edition

Hi.


1. What do you think of Google PLUS?

Scottyi: arriviste
thetotoromonster: Unknown :( (Nobody invited me!!)
Joses: Meh.
Angrygirl: Boring
(Y)MC: Useless

2. What do you think of women pastors?
Scottyi: qualifications...
thetotoromonster: Unknown :( (Raised Catholic and Ren doesn't have any!)
Joses: Acceptable.
Angrygirl: Maybe
(Y)MC: Interesting

3. What do you think of professional wrestling?
Scottyi: schadenfraude
thetotoromonster: Miller :(
Joses: Greasy.
Angrygirl: Sweaty (Smelly was a runner up)
(Y)MC: Staged

4. Who will be the next president of the United States?
Scottyi: tergiversator
thetotoromonster: Unknown :( (Barely follows politics and doesn't follow politicians)
Joses: Obama.
Angrygirl: 2012 - Obama; 2016 - Pleasesomebodynotassociatedwiththeteaparty
(Y)MC: Palin

5. What do you think of Interracial Relationships?
Scottyi: parents...
thetotoromonster: YoungAsianWomen+OldWhiteMen :(
Joses: Sexy.
Angrygirl: Jarring
(Y)MC: Skewed

About the Panelists: Scottyi is something. / thetotoromonster is a Last-minute-concoction :( / Joses is Fresh. / Angrygirl is milling. / (Y)MC is unhealthy.

7/15 Friday Friendzone: Flirty Edition

1. Are you a flirt?
Joses: Yes.
Annamelon: So I've been told.  But I'm not really trying.  When I was younger, I think I was just naively over-friendly.  Now, I think I'm just sassy.
Angrygirl: I don't try to be but I think sometimes my friendliness can be interpreted as flirting...
Kim: complicated question, but the simple answer is no.  however, i have been known to flirt a lot with guys i'm dating.  plus those lighthearted, delightful guys for whom flirtation as their way of communicating and who don't put too much stock in it.
Scottyi: Nah, I wouldn't describe myself as flirtatious.  I do like to tease people, though.  I think there's a difference--flirting at its root is complementary to the other person, such as giving someone an excessive amount of attention or laughter--while teasing seems to me to be a nicer way to say something critical.  Of course there's also a difference between teasing someone and being a tease: the latter is definitely a form of flirtation while the former isn't.

2. What is your favorite method of flirtation?
Joses: I will not reveal my secret tricks here. I will say, however, that I believe in leaving the interested party in the D.U.S.T. -> Deliberately Unresolved Sexual Tension.
Annamelon: I don't typically flirt intentionally ... so I donno ... I guess my favorite is the natural, nonchalant way ?!  Or I guess what people usually misinterpret for flirting is when I compliment them for how amazing they are in some way (some skill - like being able to hold a very hot pizza pan w/ bare hands, or some physical aspect - like nice hair, some interest they're pursuing - like how cool DJing is) ... so maybe that's a good one?!
Angrygirl: Teasing/making fun of the person. Actually, I kinda do this to most people. It's funny and it usually gives me a good gauge of someone's personality and whether they can take stuff like that. Sometimes I punch people to show my affection for them. ... :D
Kim: talking... texting... mindgames... feigning anger... playful push... making my adorable innocent faces...
Scottyi: Writing messages to each other.  I guess the easiest way to do this is by text; it can be cute when you're in the same room together and you're trying to keep other people from noticing.  But I also love the physicality of just handing a sheet of paper back and forth with scribbles on it.  I like writing down really corny lines such as... "Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?"  Gets 'em every time! ;p

3. Should flirting be limited to just the people you might have genuine romantic interest in?
Joses: No. Why else do we call it flirting?
Annamelon: Nah, at least not the kind of "flirting" I do.  I think you should definitely flirt with your servers at restaurants.  You'll prolly get better service, and you brighten their day :)  Hm, or maybe the opposite is true ... if you're a server, you should flirt with your customers so that you brighten their day, and get a bigger tip!  But if you're actually flirting in the I-think-you're-super-cute-and-super-amazing-and-totally-want-to-go-on-a-date-with-you way, then yes ... limit it to only the person you actually wanna go on a date with.  Duh.
Angrygirl: I used to think so. However I know someone (cough Miller cough) who flirts with waitresses (AND WAITERS) to get good customer service or discounts. I have begun using this ploy but only in selected circumstances.
Kim: flirting is a continuum - there's a range between friendly and flirty.  i might venture over into the more flirtatious side if the guy i'm talking to also interacts with the opposite sex in a flirty way just for fun.  as long as it's all in good fun and there's no misunderstanding.
Scottyi: Why would you flirt with someone whose affection you don't want?!  This confuses me greatly.  The only answer that comes to mind is if you're someone with low self-esteem and you desperately want people to like you--in which case it begins to make a ton of sense why girls would teach other how to play mind games.  That being said, I think you can have "genuine romantic interest" in a girl you're meeting for the first time and you want to put yourself out there, which leads me to think it's ok to flirt in a social situation where you're trying to make a good first impression.

4. Is there such a thing as over-flirting?
Joses: In theory, no. Because even if your over-flirting makes you look desperate and unattractive to your target, there's a way to turn it around... with some time and patience. In practice, of course, you want to avoid this.
Annamelon: If you're batting your eyelashes and giggling incessantly ... it's too much.  Or if you're complimenting the person and they clearly look uncomfortable and are trying their very best not to run away from you ... yah, it's prolly too much.
Angrygirl: Yeah. Most people feel awesome when someone flirts with them until they discover that the person is a serial flirter. Then it just becomes meaningless, sort of like the boy who cried wolf except less dangerous and sad.
Kim: definitely.  some people are just too obvious.  it's supposed to be subtle.
Scottyi: Emphatically yes.  I've met lots of people who over-flirt because they don't know how naturally flirtatious they actually are--these are usually very friendly / talkative / expressive / bubbly personalities who are only trying to be nice.  Well, to them I say it's your burden to carefully watch yourself and make sure you keep good boundaries with the opposite sex, or else there's a point where you're just trying to be a tease.  I've seen it happen so many times, when someone misreads an over-flirtist's friendliness and ends up getting burned.  Only YOU can prevent flirtist fires.

5. Are there any modes of flirtation that are a dead giveaway that the flirter really likes the flirtee?
Joses: The long-form flirt is such an example.  What is the long-form flirt? Basically, it's a teasing line that builds upon prior context and contact with the flirtee. Example --> Girl: "Hey, Guy, you've got a nice necktie on. Baby blue, my favorite color." Guy: "Thanks, I try to color match my boxers and my ties." Cheeky wink from Guy.
Two days later, Girl saunters up to Guy and asks, "So, were those boxers you were wearing the other day, were they really blue?"
Annamelon: No.  Boys should just come out straight and say what they're thinking, ie: "I think you're great.  Can I take you out to dinner sometime?"  Although, those cheesy pick-up lines are often a good indicator of interest, ie: (looking at your shirt's tag) "Oh, just like I thought ... made in Heaven."  Sadly, I think I could really fall for one of those cheesy pick-up lines.
Angrygirl: Modes of flirtation? What is this, love languages? What matters more is how much attention you're getting relative to others, not what kind of "mode of flirtation" the person is using.
Kim: giggling too much... paying attention only to that one person... acting completely out of character... looking at the person too much...
Scottyi: I have a lady friend who used to tell me all the time about how lonely she gets and how she wants to be in a relationship and how marriage is always on her mind.  I thought this was a signal that she was open to pursuing something, but as it turns out she'd rather be lonely than share my company.  So... if there's any dead giveaways, I certainly wouldn't know what they are!!

About the Panelists: Joses thought you might be trying to catch his eye from across the room. He tweets at www.twitter.com/jacuzzijo. / Annamelon has days where she accepts the fact that she is a shameless flirt.  And other days, she adamantly holds to the belief that she is simply a social, engaging, friendly person. / Angrygirl, in her young childhood days, used to think flirting was a move in hula dancing. / Kim has a huge crush on soterios johnson from npr.  she likes watching ke$ha interviews and action movies.  even her mom asks her for relationship advice, so she must know something. / Scottyi doesn't have any moves.  That's why he's horrible at flirting, basketball, and chess.  This sad creature's website is www.sacredraisincakes.com.

7/8 Friday Friendzone: Physical Fitness Edition

1. How often do you exercise? Be Honest!

Shhhh...I hide in Scottyi's mancave.

CSJ: I exercise maybe once a week, but it is usually offset by subsequent unnecessary overeating and powerade binges. 
Lily: Every other day for about 40 minutes + cooldown.  I run a leisurely 4 miles.  Not like last semester when I also did stairs (up to the 7th story) and pushups AND situps.  What happened to me??
Scottyi: Twice a week in my man cave.  And it's a real man cave too, none of that high def entertainment system baloney, it's down in my moldy basement in the boiler room, looking like a hideaway for trolls.  I have a poster of a t-rex.
Annamelon: During the school year, I usually go to the gym 2-3x a week.  Sometimes, 4x.
Joses: I cycle uphill to my lab every week day. About 2 minutes of intense peddling.

2. What's your favorite type of exercise or workout?

CSJ: I love playing basketball on a lowered hoop. There's nothing like reliving the days of real-life NBA Jam with everyone having Scottie Pippen-like stats.

Lily: Running.  Outside only.  I feel bad that I'm paying for that big college gym to be there and not using it, but I hate treadmills and swimming is a pain.
Scottyi: My main routine is bench press, shoulder press, pull ups, and sit ups.  I don't get as much cardio in as I'd like, but when I do my favorite workout would be a game of basketball.  It's not as monotonous as running / biking, and I love that feeling of being bathed in my own sweat, unable to walk with sore legs and huge blisters on my feet.  Trash-talking people bigger than me is also a good time.
Annamelon: Swimming, for sure, although I rarely do since the Brown pool has super random hours.  I usually default to the elliptical. 
Joses: Like all good Chinese men, we follow Bruce Lee's workout regime.
Bruce Lee's "Lethal Physique" Bodybuilding Program (performed on Tues, Thurs and Sat):
Exercise                        Sets       Repetitions
Clean & Press                 2               8
Squats                          2              12
Pullovers    2              8
Bench Presses                2               6
Good Mornings               2               8
Barbell Curls                  2               8

Apparently Bruce did his good mornings with 125 Lbs on the bar. That's what you gotta do to kick Chuck Norris' butt.

3. How will you know when you've reached your desired level of physical fitness?
CSJ: When my clothes rip when I flex, not when I bend over
Lily: I'm happy with where I'm at right now, but I do have a small goal.  I want somewhat toned arms.  Not like, unfeminine, but just a slight bicep when I flex, y'know?
Scottyi: When women stop rejecting me.
Annamelon: When I've got a six-pack (or just rock-hard abs), sexy shins (I have traumatic experiences with shin splints) & enviable calf muscles (sometimes I really wonder if maybe I'm just missing my gastrocnemius or soleus muscles).  Really though, I don't really think I'm in danger of ever "arriving" at my ideal physical fitness - so I shall continue to strive to run a bit further/longer and lift heavier things.
Joses: When just eating one more calorie a day causes my side-abs to disappear under a microlayer of fat.

4. On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being extremely important and 1 being not important at all): To you, how important is the physical fitness of your significant other?
CSJ: 6. It's nice to have a partner when playing sports. Also if she's physically fit, she will most likely live longer. Thus, we can spend more time eating unhealthy, yet delicious food.
Lily: 10.  That doesn't mean the person needs to exercise at a level of ten, it just means that SOME level of fitness, even running 20 minutes 3x a week is VERY important.  I actually don't find super built guys attractive...

Scottyi: To you, how important is the physical fitness of your significant other?

I don't care how often they exercise, as long as they exercise humility.  Oh snap!  Yeah that's right, I turned this question into another opportunity to rant about the double standards of post-feminism.  I bet you twenty bucks that more guys are willing to date below their physical standard, while more women are likely to answer "BOTH" to the question of brains or brawn.  That's because girls have the freedom to choose... while guys have the freedom to initiate awkward conversations asking if you'll date me. 
Annamelon: 7.  I am the first one to admit that I love food - especially food that is "unhealthy," but I try to practice moderation because I think we need to be responsible with the bodies God gave us.  Aside from the principle of stewardship, I would be angry if my hubby died or was incapacitated at age 50 because of conditions he could have avoided - by eating/drinking in moderation, exercising regularly, not smoking, etc.
Joses: I'd have to go with a 4. As long as she can keep up with me and enjoy herself in physical activity.... like a pick-up sport. But she can't be so unfit she can't water 10 camels.
(If you're not familiar with the account of Rebecca in the Jewish Scriptures... Rebecca fills the trough for the camels of Isaac's servant by the well. A camel can drink 30 - 50 gallons of water. 10 camels would drink at least 300 gallons. Which weighs 1140 kg, or 2500 lbs. So Rebecca carried, back-and-forth from the well, the equivalent of 16 grown men, or 1 normal-sized cow. That's pretty fit.) Ref: Genesis 24

5. If you could get a transplant of any body part from another (real) living human being, what would it be and from who?
CSJ: Nadal's arms. But I'd feel like Goro having 4 unequally-sized arms.
Lily: I LIKE MYSELF THE WAY I AM
Scottyi: I like me.  I think we shouldn't let commercial standards of beauty rob us of our God-given dignity and value.  But if I HAD to choose for the sake of this  question, I suppose it would be nice to replace my Asian liver with one that wasn't deficient in ALDH2 enzymes.  I look like Hellboy after 3 drinks. 
Annamelon: I would take Elaine Tran's calves.  My first thought went to Miller or Hando (Ryan Handoko) for their enviable calves, but they're a bit too bulky and manly for me.  E-tran has (or at least from what I remember when we used to see each other regularly) amazingly toned and well-defined calves.
Joses: For the sake of this question, I'm going to pick something neither my genes nor my willpower can bestow upon me. I'd like, at least, to be able to grow more facial hair. I'm gonna go with Takeshi Kaneshiro -  Kinda reminds me of Johnny Depp.

About the Panelists: CSJ spends his free time striking comets and writing about things for humor's sake. He also enjoys Sunset Cantina and long walks on Beach St. near Hing Shing Pastry. / Lily is an INTJ who prefers the library to every other building on campus.  I like puzzles, classical music, and chess.  My favorite thing to do online is stalk people on facebook and fill out my google calendar. / Scottyi once dated girl taller than him, so how's that for not being superficial?! His website is www.sacredraisincakes.com  / Annamelon is currently sick for the third time in two weeks.  Forget being fit, she just wants to be healthy. / Joses Ho remembers a time when being pale and overweight was a symbol of one's aristocratic wealth and means, which meant you never had a shortage of dames who would fancy having dinner with you, but being tan, lean, and muscular doomed you to never getting a date. Good times.

7/1 Friday Friendzone: Travel Edition

1. What is your favorite city in the world? Why?
Jimmy: Mexico City.  I haven't travelled much internationally, and Mexico City might not be the  most exciting, but it is HUGE and I feel like you could live there for years and still find new aspects of it all the time.  There's also a lot of history in the city (history nerd).
Angrygirl: Hard to decide, but I'm gonna have to go with Los Angeles, California. Sure it has issues-- crazy ridiculous traffic, crazy ridiculous income disparity (USC in Compton, anyone?). But there's so much more going for it... legit Asian and Mexican food, access to beaches, great weather so you can wear flip flops 350 days of the year (15 off because it sometimes rains)... also LA remains the only city where meeting people doesn't require dealing with their comments on my "really good" English (being born in the US does that to you). 
Joses: This is a tough one. I resonate well with San Francisco's climate and vibe. Mexico City has some of the best tacos I've ever had, and some of the friendliest people I've ever met. I went to college in Providence, and so I have fond memories of that city. NYC never sleeps, and there's always some new bar, bookstore, or coffeeshop round the corner to check out. I like London for her free museums and her pubs. Beneath and beyond the red-light districts and "coffeeshops", Amsterdam is picturesque and rich in history. But I'd have to go with Singapore. I grew up there, I know her better than any city I've been to, and she has the best food, period.
thetotoromonster: Da Lat, Vietnam.  Honestly, I haven't traveled much around Asia (small sample size) but here's what I like about it: Tons and tons of flowers everywhere <3, Lots of waterfalls and pretty things, Great produce and smoothies, Cheap, delicious food, Relatively safe for Asia, Relatively good weather for Asia (neither [too] humid nor hot; rainy during monsoon season), Get to ride a ton of motorbikes, Many university students learn English though they may be shy (yeah, I'm an ethnocentric American.), Cheap shopping, though you may need to look a little more than in Ho Chi Minh City/Saigon
(Y)MC: Taichung, Taiwan and Venice, Italy are probably two of my most favorite cities in the world. I was born in Taichung and have a lot of great memories growing up there-- riding on mopeds, eating pig ears/feet/intestines, bringing stray dogs home, burning paper money, etc. And Venice was just such a magical place; there's really nowhere else that's really like it (yes, sometimes I do choose to reveal my softer side).


2. What is the one place you haven't been to that you have been dying to visit?
Jimmy: Australia. Very cool culture (from what I've heard) and some really cool travel options and outdoors activities.  And Wombats.  What's not to love about wombats? There's an outside chance I'll be heading there in 2012.
Angrygirl: These questions make me realize that I haven't traveled much. I would love to visit Brazil, because I've never been to South America and I know that Brazil has a sizable Japanese population so that would be interesting to see. Hopefully I would not run into any drug war violence while there...
Joses: Anywhere inside of the Arctic Circle. Northern lights and Santa Claus and reindeer and Nobel Prizes and all that. 
thetotoromonster: 3-way tie: Malta (just heard it from someone and sounds like a good idea), Alaska (in the summer and before it melts), New Zealand (Lord of the Rings tour, probably spend a week in Asia, cool fruits, and nice landscape!)
(Y)MC: I hear the islands off of the coast of Spain are really nice...Menorca, I think? I'd also like to go check out Maldives sooner rather than later... I'm on a plan to stay at a Four Seasons Hotel/Resort at least once a year (2 for 2 so far since getting married). But on most days, I merely wish that flights to Taiwan wouldn't be so lengthy and expensive. I'd love to go back to see my family and to put on some weight/muscle mass.


3. What is the weirdest local delicacy you've eaten while traveling?
Jimmy: Cow tongue tacos.  Not the most exciting, I guess. Still, cow tongue.  After watching a lot of "Bizarre Foods", I don't consider anything I've eaten to be weird.
Angrygirl: Probably the buffalo I ate in Montana when visiting Yellowstone National Park. I can't actually remember if it was buffalo but it was pretty weird.
Joses: Whale meat in Reyjavik, Iceland. It tasted like fishy beef and wasn't all that appetising, or politically correct.
thetotoromonster: I don't think I eat anything too strange abroad out of fear for sanitation.  Maybe escargot in France.  I've eaten durian; Scott thinks that durian is a local delicacy, but it's just a normal thing to me.
(Y)MC: Not counting my food allergies, I think I'm open to trying most foods once. But I think snake soup and legs of frogs and rabbits are a bit too much for me. Those Taiwanese people... they're intense.


4. What is your most embarrassing travel story?
Jimmy: The 5-star log splash.  It involves a 5-star hotel, a clogged toilet, a toothbrush, a trash can, and a balcony.  That's all you need to know. 
Angrygirl: When I was 8, my family and I visited my grandparents in Japan. After dinner my jet lag kicked in and I got really sleepy. My grandparents had a Japanese style dining table (low to the ground, people eat by kneeling on floor pillows), so I just lay on the floor near my parents and fell asleep. The next thing I remember is waking up a few hours later and realizing that my pants and the sitting pillow were wet... with horror I realized that I had peed in my pants, something that is only acceptable when you are under 3 years old. I was also mortified that it happened in front of my grandparents who hadn't seen me in a while-- here was my chance to prove that I wasn't a kid anymore and now I looked like I was some incontinent underdeveloped baby! And I didn't know how to say "this is an unrepresentative freak accident!" in Japanese... Luckily my grandparents were cool about it. But I ended up having to change into the only kid-size pants available-- my dad's old elementary school uniform pants. I remember thinking on the way back to the hotel that the whole night was extremely bizarre.
Joses: Usually when I mention I spent 2 years in the Singapore Armed Forces, people are interested, and it becomes a conversation topic. Not this one time in New Orleans, when I casually brought it up while talking to someone who happened to be a Gulf War vet. He got really mad at me and retorted, "Have you ever been shot at, son?" I don't know how I wriggled out of that conversation, but I'm glad I did.
thetotoromonster: I don't know.  I think I'm a pretty low key traveler, so I've avoided most embarrasment.  My brother had a parasite once and he was pooping everywhere!!  What else... This Italian grandpa was saying something to me when I was in Europe.  I tried talking to an Italian grandpa in Spanish hoping that it would be similar enough.  Nope, not close.  I also got a little seasick when I went on the scuba-diving boat, when I was in Thailand.  It wasn't as bad as my brother or sister though...
(Y)MC: I had a pretty severe food allergy while traveling to Chile. A doctor who was on the same flight managed to find something and gave me a shot... right in my butt cheek... while I was carefully attended to and surrounded by 5-8 pretty good looking Chilean/South America flight attendants (think Jennifer Lopez, Eva Mendes, Jessica Alba, Eva Longoria, Sofia Vergara, Shakira types). Despite the shame, I did get a [sympathy] kiss from one of them when I deplaned. 
(NOTE: This happened WAY BEFORE I got married.)


5) If you were a fugitive, where would you hide? (assume the police know your answer to question #1, #2, and every place you ever lived)
Jimmy: Canadian Rockies.  I'd build a log house and live off the land (using a bow and arrow to catch game.  Less noise, reusable ammo).  So much space, so little people to patrol it.  Also, bears.
Angrygirl: Easy-- China. In my experience, non-Asians have a hard time telling Asian girls apart, so the massive population of China would provide useful camouflage. I could make a living by playing up my Ivy League credentials and working as a SAT teacher/US college admissions consultant (admittedly this would be a lot easier if I went to Harvard). Christian bonus: this would also give me opportunities to share the Gospel in a place where the Gospel doesn't get a lot of exposure. And let's say the US government did find me... it's more likely that US-China relations will be tense and therefore the Chinese government might want to use my return as a sort of bargaining chip, delaying any extradition process. And even if I do eventually get returned to the US, I can sell my unparalleled experience in China and background in international relations to work for the State Department instead of doing time. The only downside of this prospect? Dealing with communism and figuring out how to get to Hong Kong for good healthcare.
Joses: In my (twin) brother's house.
thetotoromonster: I'll probably country hop through Southeast Asia.  In each country I went to, they thought I was a local until I opened my mouth.  But in all seriousness, it'll probably have to be in somewhere like Thailand, or I have to cross the border from Singapore to Malaysia, or maybe even go to some no-name island in Indonesia or the Philippines.  Vietnam and Singapore's governments keep tabs on their citizens too well for me to hide there.
(Y)MC: I would hide in Miller's closet, probably. And then I would ask him to join me in the closet, only so that we can come out of it together and make a big announcement.


About the Panelists: Jimmy just drove 5,000+ miles around the U.S. in attempt to earn a very elusive 2nd millstar. / Angrygirl is ready for vacation. / Joses lives in Oxford, UK.  He often wishes, instead of travelling through space, he could also travel through time. / thetotoromonster gets eaten alive by mosquitoes in the Caribbean, gets eaten alive by mosquitoes in SE Asia, and hasn't gone anywhere else that has mosquitoes for these reasons.  She also loves eating tropical fruits, like dragon fruit, custard apple, rambutan, starfruit, etc. / (Y)MC was born on an island and has been to every continent in the world. He is allergic to shellfish, kiwi, pollen, and dust. He strongly dislikes it when people jump on beds in his room-- because that stirs up A TON of dust. Y(MC)'s favorite in-flight movies include: A Walk To Remember, Dear John/Juan, Chasing Liberty, Meet Joe Black, and How To Train Your Dragon. Finally, his favorite worship guitar chords are Em and Am.

6/24 Friday Friendzone: Summer Edition

Welcome back to the Friendzone, the most must-read segment on this blog!  This week marked the first official week of summer...so I got some of my friends together to ask them about what they think of summer.


1. Is summer the best season?
Scottyi: I feel pretty bad for those spoiled people who can't appreciate all 4 seasons... it means that they're depressed for 3/6/9 months out of the year. I love the breeze in autumn, the harsh fury of winter snowstorms, the beautiful week of tree blossoms in spring, and the warm rain of summer. It's all special and we must thank our Creator for every precious moment of His glorious creation. Also, I like summer because I look awesome in wife beaters.
Angrygirl: Duh. Watermelon, peaches, nectarines, pineapple, strawberries all in season. On the East Coast, people naturally gravitate outside and become social, hanging out at free events or farmers' markets. On the West Coast, it's the best time to go to the beach or jump in a friend's pool. And on a certain day in the summer I also get cake and candles.
(Y)MC: Summer is sometimes the best season, except when the weather gets to be too hot to wear even just shorts and a thin t-shirt. But I'll take summer over snow...any day!
Lily: Nope and I've never understood why so many people like it. It's the worst because you have to work a summer job and it's really hot.  Doing homework is more fun than entry-level jobs, and way more of your friends are around during the school year.  Also the sun hates people because it glares at them with its burning eye like Sauron.
Joses: Caveat - I grew up in the tropics, which is either summer all year long, or no summer at all, depending on the way you see things. I personally have an affinity for winter. There's something bracing about the cold and the dark that gets me more pensive (and intellectually more productive) than the summer. In my experience, the freedom offered by summer fools me into thinking I can get more done in those months - more reading, more thinking, more partying, more shopping etc. That's just not true.

2. What is the best summer song of all time?
Scottyi: 90s West Coast rap songs--windows down, subwoofer turned all the way up. Feeling so pimp. If you want something low key, Dr. Dre's "Nuthin' But a 'G' Thang" is perfect for driving down the road at sunset. Coolio's "Fantastic Voyage" hits the sweet spot when you're on your way to a party.
Angrygirl: Surfaris -- Wipeout
(Y)MC: Two great summer songs: Bananarama - Cruel Summer and DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - Summertime. I would've included that LFO song about Chinese food and Abercrombie. But since you (Miller) alluded to it in an earlier post, I don't want to take anything away from your credibility as a blogger and diminish your earnings from blogging.
Lily: Is this like, music you listen to on the radio?  I don't know any summer songs but recently I've been feeling the soundtrack to Wicked...
Joses: Two songs come to mind (It's summer, I'm allowed two instead of just one tune.)
Summer of '69 - Bryan Adams: Why does summer inevitably equate to long-lost youth, first loves, and (ultimately) sheer happiness? It's thanks to the perfect piece of rock Bryan Adams composed in the 80s. Ironically, this song makes us nostalgic not for the late 60s, but for the 80s.
Stereo Love - Vika Jigulina and Edward Maya: This track wafts over the shore like a warm sea breeze, caressing your hair as you snooze again on the deck chair. Ed and Vika have bottled summer up in here.

3. What is the most must-see movie of the summer?
Scottyi: I hated the first two Fast & Furious movies, but ever since Justin Lin took it over it's become cinematic brilliance. "Fast 5" was the best entry in the series, which is probably the first time you could say that about a part 5. The cool thing about the franchise is that it's both retrogressive and progressive: retro because it harkens back to the old school action movies of musclebound machismo with codes of honor, but progressive because these movies are "post-racial." The cast is culturally diverse, and while enemies are often from different ethnic backgrounds, no one ever succumbs to racial slurs. Out of the entire 10-man crew in "Fast 5," Paul Walker is the only white guy...! That's amazing.
Angrygirl: Duh. HARRY POTTER LAST MOVIE EVER :((((((
or, Glee Live! 3D! (yes those exclamations are part of the title). Just kidding, Glee sucks and jumped the shark a long time ago.
(Y)MC: Summer blockbusters... My favorites are "I Know What You Did Last Summer" (1997), "I Still Know What You Did Last Summer" (1998), "I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer" (2006, straight to video release), and the forthcoming "I'll Always Forever and Ever Know What You Did Last Summer as well as What You'll Do Next Summer" (2012?).
Lily: HARRY FRICKIN POTTER
Joses: I'll give four answers to the four different ways you can read this question.
a. Best movie to be ever released in the summer blockbuster season - Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight.
b. Best movie released in this current summer blockbuster season - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II. It's the end of an era.
c. Best movie about summer - A close friend of mine recommends Across The Universe.
d. Best movie(s) to watch during summer - Lord of The Rings Extended Trilogy. When else are you gonna find the time?!

4. Do you think tanning enhances or depreciates physical appearance?
Scottyi: I'm not attracted to the tanned look. It looks like girls are trying too hard. And then there's the tanning that goes so overboard that their skin literally looks orange--they look like giant oompa-loompas. Gross, ladies. Have fun with your skin cancer.
Angrygirl: My mom brainwashed me to forever associate tanning with skin cancer. I might've thought she was overreacting if it hadn't been for the teen girly magazines that also said similar things with scary sounding words like "melanoma." As a result I apply sunscreen regularly (although I tend to forget my arms, so my arms are perpetually darker than my face). Now the choice is between being tan/possibly-seriously-sick vs. pale/looking-sickly. It's a tough life.
(Y)MC: Tanning never made sense to me. Yes, you end up looking darker... but at the expense of increasing your risk of getting skin cancer/melanoma? Completely not worth it. You can do your future generation(s) a huge favor though by combining your genes with those of a person with a darker skin complexion, e.g. Asians, Africans, Hispanic/Herspanic people, etc. (White person, please note.)
Lily: I wish we were back in the 1800s when not tanned skin was more in!  It's so much healthier for people not to tan!
Joses: I think most people would agree having a tan, that wasn't obtained through tanning lotion or lying in front of light bulbs, is physically attractive. But you have to balance that with the risk of skin cancer. So the best way to get a tan is through hereditary means - have a mother and a father who both have naturally darker skin. Which, unfortunately, is beyond your means now.....

5. Summer Fling: Good or Bad Idea?
Scottyi: Summer's the best time to set up really great date ideas (campfire, walks on the beach, lying on your roof staring at the stars). But it's also the time when people are in very fragile transitional periods--people are getting ready to move, or on vacation, or on temp jobs. So if you're looking for something long-term while you're in a temporary situation, that seems like a recipe for disaster to me.  Best to have a "Roman Holiday" mentality: enjoy the time for what it is, but don't let your expectations get the better of you.
Angrygirl: Fling schmling. Relationships shouldn't be seasonal.
(Y)MC: As a rule of thumb, summer flings are always, always, always good ideas as long as nobody gets pregnant. And who knows, sometimes summer flings can turn into lasting and meaningful relationships that may or may not include pregnancy along the way.
Lily: Been there, done that.  Mixed feelings, but I did learn a lot.
Joses: Yes, It's time for another Good Idea/Bad Idea!
This question gets most people hot and bothered, because of the word "fling". If someone asked you, "Is a Summer Romance/Courtship a good idea?", of course you'd say "Yes!" So, the real question is, are flings a good idea at all? This is a question that merits more attention than I can give it now. Suffice to say, if you're OK with having a fling at all (whatever a fling might mean to you), then there's nothing wrong with a Summer Fling.
No one talks about a Winter Fling. Isn't it a better idea? What better way to pass the dark and cold than in someone else's warm arms? And you can dump them after they've put on all that Christmas fat.

About the Panelists:
Scottyi is excited because he just took his wife beater out of the drier. His website is www.sacredraisincakes.com / Angrygirl becomes less angry after hanging out on the beach. / (Y)MC is a son, brother, and husband. During his spare time, he enjoys long walks on the beach, authentic Taiwanese food, and streaming movies online. He believes almost all heterosexual inter-racial relationships are severely skewed, favor the white man, and consequently further disenfranchise the Asian male demographic group. As such, he has embarked on a personal mission to restore the balance in the world of inter-racial love-making. / Lily is an INTJ who prefers the library to every other building on campus.  I like puzzles, classical music, and chess.  My favorite thing to do online is stalk people on facebook and fill out my google calendar. / Joses grew up in Singapore, where it's pretty much summer all year round. Kinda boring, if you ask him. He tweets regularly at www.twitter.com/jacuzzijo. 

6/17 Friday Friendzone: Battle of the Sexes (Part 2)

Welcome back to the Friday Friendzone...


This week, the stench of testosterone is long gone!  The only fragrance permeating this air is flowery and feminine...even farts smell like flowers!  So take your time and soak it in....


1. Is it okay for a guy to care about his appearance more than you care about yours?
Angrygirl: Does this mean he would enjoy shopping with me? Does this mean he takes longer than me to get ready? Does it actually result in him looking good? Depending on the answers to those questions, it could either be a bonus or a nuisance.
Kim: ok so i have to do the following: hair, nails, eyelids, lashes, eyebrows, skin, earrings, other jewelry, match shoes and purse (it's totally unfair, by the way, that we have these teeny weeny pockets), put on skin/face lotion, perfume... does that answer the question?  it would be weird if he were PLAGUED by caring about his appearance as i am by caring about mine.
Minphil: That's not hard to do, so yes. I appreciate a guy who is willing to put in some effort. The sloppy look isn't as cute as you think it is.
Coco: I guess it depends on the girl.. my wardrobe now consists solely of light blue scrubs that are about 2 sizes too big yet several inches too short, so I care much less these days. My husband fondly refers to me as the "blue box," and apparently I look like I belong in a TLC video (waterfalls). I think it's nice when a guy cares enough to dress up on occasion. Any extended looks in the mirror are a bit questionable.
Treehugger: I guess it's okay, depending on how much more.  Like if the guy is always checking himself out, freaking out if his hair doesn't look good or his clothes don't look right, I wouldn't be into him.  If that's where he gets his confidence, that's a nono.  It's okay though I think if a guy cares that he doesn't look like a total mess.


2. Is chivalry dead? (Bonus: What is the meanest thing a guy has done to you?)
Angrygirl: It's not dead but it's an endangered species whose appearance is all the more treasured because it's relatively rare. For every modern-day chivalrous knight, there's a guy who thinks of women as living, breathing sex toys solely for his pleasure and use.
(Meanest thing a guy has done to me: pretend he didn't know who I was despite the fact that we had had 5+ introductions and about 283 mutual friends. I don't really buy the whole *sheepish laughter* "oh yeah, we HAVE met before..." after a while. Also nice bonus was the whole eye-averting when we would bump into each other on the street. Is it really that difficult to say a two letter, one syllable greeting? To this day just thinking about it gets me annoyed....)
Kim: story: my mom and i went to the bank together a few months ago, and as we walked towards the door, we saw a father and his ~10 year old son going in.  although we were pretty far behind them, the dad saw us and motioned to his son, who held the door until we got there!  in other words, yes i like it when guys hold doors/call me/initiate a dtr/open the car door/carry something that's too heavy for me, and yes i think the feminists ruined everything.  (oh, and the meanest thing a guy has ever done=dumping me)
Minphil: Defined as "the sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, including courtesy, generosity, valor, and dexterity in arms," I'd have to say yes, if only because of the dexterity in arms requirement. That's the clincher.
(Bonus: Nicknamed me Polyps.)
Coco:  I think chivalry is still alive, though it manifests itself through different actions than in the past. A guy doesn't need to open my car door on every occasion in order to be chivalrous. I think chivalry means treating women with respect, honesty and kindness. 
(Meanest thing I guy has done to be: Led me to believe he was really interested/"in love" with me, when his true preference was for members of the opposite sex. I wasted many high school days worrying about our relationship. Perhaps this was my fault, though... )
Treehugger: By this question, do you mean, it has died, and men aren't chivalrous anymore?  Or do you mean, chivalry is dead as it's a thing of the past and doesn't go well with our modern feminist sensibilities?  Well, either way, I think no, chivalry is not dead. Chivalry out of respect for women and not an idea that women are somehow less capable or weaker than men is a great thing.  On that note, I think a lot of men are still chivalrous now maybe with a better attitude behind it.  Some others, maybe not so much.


3. Is it okay for a girl to "wear the pants" in the relationship?
Angrygirl: Girls look good in pants. (Interpret as you wish)
Kim: no. crazy feminists.
Minphil: Each person in a relationship brings strengths that should be acknowledged and benefited from...it shouldn't be about domination, hierarchy, or control but rather a balanced partnership that draws on the gifts of both people.
Coco: Sometimes, when appropriate.. Question: when a guy chooses to cook dinner, do laundry or wash dishes, does it mean that he is "wearing the skirt"?? 
Treehugger: Hmm, I've never really liked this phrase "wear the pants."  Neither one should be domineering the other.  When it comes to big decisions though, I'd say the girl shouldn't "wear the pants".  In decision-making two people in a relationship won't always agree, but eventually someone will have to make a decision and the other will have to submit to that.  Otherwise they'll just end up at a stalemate and nothing'll be done.  Ephesians 5:22 clearly says for wives to submit to their husbands.  Still men should love their wives as Christ loved the church, so their decision should be made out of love for the girl, and the girl would wear the pants in that way.


4. Finish this statement: I hate it when guys....
Angrygirl: Try too hard. It's usually apparent and kind of tragic.. even if you're weird, can't you just do what's natural to you? Don't try to be someone based on what you think girls want or some TV show character you admire, it's very obviously artificial.
Kim: ...show off by being loud and vulgar ...ignore me when i'm asking a question or trying to get a laugh.
Minphil: I hate it when guys...ignorantly attribute a woman's emotions to PMS in order to delegitimize what she's saying or how she feels.
Coco: Try to USE girls, especially when related to their immigration status. I know your secret.. it's all a big scheme to get a green card :)
Treehugger: I hate it when guys complain about PMS and blame a girl's behavior on PMS when many men clearly show symptoms of PMS all-year round.  BUT Their PMS doesn't have any useful biological contribution to human reproduction.


5. Finish this statement: I love it when guys....
Angrygirl: Pursue passionate interests. By interests, I do not mean girls. I mean things ranging from hobbies (e.g., playing guitar, basketball) to causes (e.g., social justice, international economic development). It shows selflessness and a rounded character, and I like that they're using their potential for something that's not wholly self-serving. 
Kim: ...are intelligent ...are candid and humble ...are gentle in their words and actions 
Minphil: I love it when guys...give good hugs.
Coco: Make me laugh. I think it's important for a fulfilled and happy life.
Treehugger: I love it when guys are passionate about God, pursue Him with abandon, are compassionate towards the weak and lost, and live with conviction about who they are in God and what they are doing as opposed to dilly dallying through life.


About the Panelists:
Angrygirl is a DC yuppie who occasionally wears pants. (Interpret as you wish). / Kim has a huge crush on soterios johnson from npr.  she likes watching ke$ha interviews and action movies.  even her mom asks her for relationship advice, so she must know something. / Minphil, for the record, doesn't want to battle. Cupcakes and laughter preferred. / Coco is an old friend of Miller's who once declared that he was her "entertainment." She now spends her days celebrating the joy of bringing new life into the world. / Treehugger likes hugging trees because they're like hugging big people.

6/10 Friday Friendzone: Battle of the Sexes (Part 1)

Welcome back to my friendzone...where escape is nearly impossible!


This week we begin a 2-part series called Battle of the Sexes with an all-male panel responding to questions about the female kind...and next week we'll hear what females have to say about the guys!  Man...I can just feel the testosterone already....

1. What is your understanding of PMS?

Scott: It's one of those things that really separates the female condition from the male experience--hormonal chaos in a monthly ritual of biological entrapment.  I will never understand what it feels like to have an egg pass through my body and be sucked into a tampon in one bloody reminder of reproductive potentiality.  So on the one hand, I do sympathize with women for the burden their bodies place on them.  But on the other hand, I think there's few things in life more annoying and useless than trying to reason with a female in the middle of a mood swing.

Joses: PMS stands for Perpetual Menstrual Syndrome, contrary to a widespread and erroneous belief that the 'P' stands for 'pre'. In essence it refers to the state of being where one's emotions contradict facial expression, and where every word uttered is fraught with double meanings and hidden agendas. Note that this afflicts members of either gender.

(Y)MC: I think that's basically just like a few days of ridiculous hysteria and massive emotional instability that precedes the shedding of uterine lining in women. This occurs on a monthly basis and is typically synchronized to the waning and waxing of the moon. But to be honest, I don't really know. My wife can definitely more accurate and professional insights into this subject matter.

Jimmy: There is an imbalance of hormones because she was waiting to find out whether or not the stork was going to come visit later.  She finds out that the stork isn't coming to visit, and the extra hormones she had for the potential stork visit screws her up. Or some lame excuse like that, anyway.

Rob: Psychotic Mood Swings. Shortly followed by Potential Murder Suspect.

2. Is it true that girls are more mature than guys?

Scott: You know how girls peak at their early twenties, but guys can reach their peak much later in life?  For example, 40s Brad Pitt and George Clooney are way more dashing than their younger versions.  You know why that is?  It's physiologic irony due to the arrogance girls have in thinking they're more mature than guys: because they think they're so mature, girls' bodies age faster and their looks accordingly degrade at a rate directly proportional to their pretentiousness.

Joses: No. Although guys tend to be cheesier, a sign of the prolonged adolescence of our time. The real question is, whose cheesiness is more mature? That depends primarily what temperature you leave your cheesiness in.

(Y)MC: Assuming that age(male) = age(female), I suppose it is generally accepted that maturity(female) > maturity(male). But I'd like to emphasize an important point: maturity isn't necessarily a desirable characteristic (especially if your target audience is really, really young). Immaturity is the new sexiness, no?

Jimmy: I'm going to hear from this because of my occasional behavioral choices, but I think NO, girls are not more mature than guys.  I think that the society defines maturity as acting mature, or, more often, not acting immature.  I define maturity by the ability to react to any given situation (especially a difficult/adverse situation).  In my experience, at the same age group, guys are much better at dealing with tough situations than girls.  Sorry ladies (or maybe I've just hung out with extra manly men in my life.)  

Rob: Immaturity can present itself in many ways, but what grabs our attention is the loud & obnoxious kind. There could be just as many immature girls, they're just not as easy to spot. What is certain is this: a person's maturity doesn't necessarily increase with age.

3. Is it okay for a girl to "wear the pants" in the relationship?

Scott: It's ok for girls to offer solutions and best practices, what the guy should do is know when to defer to the knowledge of his female partner and when to trust his own decisions.  I think that's what male leadership should mean--humility to follow the counsel of others when appropriate.  Also, I know that some girls like to wear pants to show off their butts because they're superficial like that, but skirts are way cuter.  I love those T-Mobile 4G commercials with the girl in the pink dresses... she's adorable!!!  

Joses: In a relationship, you've gotta give her a reason to wear the dress. Like it was worn by Kate Middleton, or if it was designed by Vera Wang. Or like, she just looks great wearing that dress (That line usually works).

Although, if you're a male slave of the Amazons, you don't really have a choice. Just suck it up like a man, bro.

(Y)MC: Yes, I think it's okay for a girl to "wear the pants," but I try to make sure that I wear it more often than she does. But honestly, I think this whole pants-wearing thing should be equal opportunity amongst the two people in the relationship.

Jimmy: I believe that a girl can wear "some" pants, but I not "the" pants.  I grew up in a household with a very manly (John Wayne-ish) father, but also a very confident, outspoken mother.  For a man to lead doesn't require a woman to change who she is and blindly follow her male counterpart.  It means the guy MANS UP and leads, and the girl accepts that leadership.  This puts the pressure on the men to be good leaders and make good decisions (it's easy to be led by a good leader.  Men...Man up).

Rob: I find confidence in a woman very attractive, but the negative connotation commonly associated with this phrase makes me think of a controlling, insecure micro manager, which is . . . not attractive. A man needs to be a man.

4. Finish this statement: I hate it when girls....

Scott: Play mind games.  Don't lie to me, I know you do it, and I know you teach each other how to do it.  It's so repugnant to use such psychological tricks to manipulate unsuspecting, oblivious guys who are desperate for affection and thus will read into everything a cute girl does toward him.  They do it without even knowing they're doing it--making flirtatious jokes with a guy friend isn't friendship, it's irresponsible. 

Joses: step out of the house with wet hair. Freshly washed hair does smell nice but doesn't look great. Start early - give yourself time to blow/towel dry your crowning glory.

(Y)MC: get together and talk about stupid TV shows like Sex in the City and Lipstick Jungle (the latter of which I once watched religiously). I also hate it when girls talk about "oh my boyfriend did this..." or "ya my husband did that." SHUT YOUR FACE, WOMEN. And those guys need to stop being such over-achievers and making the rest of us look bad. Doesn't anyone honor the Bro Code these days?

Jimmy: Point out when they think they look unattractive in pictures.  For several reasons.  1- They're often WRONG.  2- Not everyone is photogenic ALL the time (well...maybe Joses).  3- Voicing a possible insecurity can often make you more insecure.  Come on, ladies, you're better (and better looking) than that.

Rob: ... are not authentic.   ... lack understanding/perspective.    ... are consumed with gossip.   ... flake out.

5. Finish this statement: I love it when girls....

Scott: Are into "guy stuff."  Sports, comic books, red meat and fast food, sci-fi movies and video games.  Not only does it mean that the girl has really good taste, but to me it's a mark of independence and a care-free spirit for a girl to be into things that aren't considered very appropriate for her.  I know "Smallville" is a mediocre TV show, but when a girl wants to watch the same crappy thing I do out of pure dork intentions, that's pretty sexy.  In a non-sexy kind of way, I suppose.

Joses: Smile.

(Y)MC: I love it when girls stay in the kitchen and cook delicious yet refined food. I also love it when girls nurture their skills in being or becoming a good, solid, and reliable domestic engineer -- responsibilities include, but are not limited to: cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, grocery shopping, mowing the lawn, shoveling snow, taking out the trash, checking my children's homework, packing lunches, organizing carpools, writing thank-you notes, wrapping gifts, origami, etc.

Jimmy: Look attractive while dressing modestly.  It can show class, good decision making, and a confidence that they don't have to dress a certain way to get attention (...unless they're trying to get my attention).

Rob: ... are comfortable in their own skin.    ... are good listeners.     ... have clear and passionate goals.    ... have a confident, humble beauty about them.

About the Panelists:

Scott knows that guys are just as messed up as girls, if not more so--he just wants to make sure you know that girls are messed up too, alright?!  You can read more of his messed up opinions at sacredraisincakes.com. / Joses spent many a night sleeping in the same bed as Miller. He now lives and studies in Oxford. / (Y)MC is a son, brother, and husband. During his spare time, he enjoys long walks on the beach, authentic Taiwanese food, and streaming movies online. He believes almost all heterosexual inter-racial relationships are severely skewed, favor the white man, and consequently further disenfranchise the Asian male demographic group. As such, he has embarked on a personal mission to restore the balance in the world of inter-racial love-making. / Jimmy is a self-proclaimed "man among boys."  Not a pompous statement, just a job description.  / Rob is a freelance digital artist and musician. He would love for you to have a great day today.