Sunday 6/15 Live Millings (NBA Finals Game 5)

Millting Points: Live Thoughts from Game 5:

8:54 - The National Anthem by Ashanti was terrible. This usually means that the Lakers will win... (In Game 3, David Cook, who was previously praised by the Millings a few weeks ago, butchered the Anthem allowing the Lakers to throw the Celtics off their game.)

8:56 - oooo...Leon Powe is getting the start at center. I think this will pay off for the C's.

8:57 - The Lakers should put more time into hyping up their starting lineups...no pyro? On the flipside...the giant bed sheets that they project on...may explain what Kobe was talking about when he said the Lakers wet the bet big time in Game 4.

9:03 - Doc said "Let's show em what Ooombooontooo is all about"....Is that even the correct pronounciation? It's spelled Ubuntu...where did the mmmm come from? For those who don't know, Ubuntu is a philosophy that Doc stole from Archbishop Desmond Tutu. For some reason....black players respond better to South African Philosophies (Celtics) than White Man Zen (Lakers).

9:08 - Did you notice that the Lakers went to their White Jerseys tonight? It might change their fortune...but I have a hard time seeing Pau Gasol and Vladamir Radmanovic in camouflage.

9:10 - Powe turns it over...Leon needs to have a big game tonight...not for the Celtics to win...but so the Celtics can trade him for something good in the offseason.

9:12 - Adding on to the previous racial commentary, have you noticed that the two best defensive teams in the NBA have only black guys on their 12 man rosters.

9:13 - Rondo is rebounding like this is NBA Jam.

9:24 - For those of you at home wondering what an arm sock actually does, be sure to check out the Wikipedia article on the "Shooting Arm Sleeve"...it keeps the shooting arm warm? What good is that?

9:27 - Upon ABC's use of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" for the pre-commercial replay, let us all wonder how R. Kelly was found innocent last week of all charges against him. As Joses likes to point out...what is more incriminating than the fact that R. Kelly and Michael Jackson wrote the hit song "You Are Not Alone" together? It was clearly a show of solidarity among two dirty dirty men.

9:31 - KG picks up his 2nd foul and forces ABC to censor his vulgarities on 3 separate occasions in 15 seconds. Parents, KG is a good ballplayer...but he is no ideal role model.

9:33 - Do you think the NBA should start marketing Sasha Vujacic's Girl Headband? Would you buy one? Maybe girls would... Maybe girls named Sasha?

9:35 - Lakers shot 65% in the first quarter. That's the percentage necessary to pass medical school. Speaking of education...during the announcement of the starting lineups earlier this year, my good friend Officer John Remka asked me "Hey Millah...don't you think that Kevin Garnett could just get a degree online from the University of Phoenix?" He makes a good point...KG, Perk, and Kobe need to get some kind of online degree...

9:40 - Chris Mihm sighting... Lakers could put an all-white lineup out there right now with Vujacic, Walton, Radmanovic, Gasol, and Mihm. Can any other NBA team even put 4 white guys out there at once?

9:46 - Tony Allen gets a steal! ...and a dunk!

9:47 - Speaking of Tony Allen, I think the last names of NBA players are fake! Ever go into a souvenir shop and look for a keychain with your name on it? Well, the NBA may be outsmarting us all in an effort to sell more jerseys. All of a sudden, more NBA players than ever have last names that are first names. For example: Ray Allen, Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, Carmelo Anthony, Chris Paul, Dwight Howard, Dwayne Wade....and one day you just might name your kid Boozer! David Stern is a genius!

9:51 - After Turiaf commits the charge...none of his Laker teammates go to pick him up off the floor. They ain't know what Ooooombooooonnntooooo is!

10:03 - Sam Cassell is terrible. He's just a backup. Why does he hafta shoot the ball all the time. He should take some lessons from his half-brother Matt Cassel (Tom Brady's backup). Just hand the ball off.

10:09 - Tony Allen scores again...Millings Reader Mike Auyeung believes that Tony Allen will be tonight's "gamechanger."

10:11 - Did Derek Fisher just get a technical foul for picking his nose with his thumb?

10:17 - Looking forward to seeing Bill Walton at halftime. The live updates will be back for the 2nd half.

10:34 - Has anyone noticed if Scal has been activated for this game or not? If this NBA Season ends with the ball in Scal's hands, Matt Chin wins the "Who touches the ball last?" Contest. (For the record, I have Glen "Big Baby" Davis holding onto the ball in a blowout win in Game 6. Who do you have?)

10:40 - If Ray Allen is the Celtics' leading scorer in the Finals, why isn't he getting more recognition as a potential Finals MVP. It may not mean much to you, but I picked Ray Allen long ago in my Finals Preview.

10:42 - It's a well know fact that White Guys can't outrun or outjump Black Guys. But I've also noticed that White athletes have more hair than Black athletes. Could the difference in athleticism simply be attributed to haircut and not skin tone?

10:51 - What's with the video segments in which the NBA Trophy is cradled like a baby? There are only a few inanimate objects worthy to be held like a baby...and the trophy does not make my list...(see image below).
10:58 - Lakers are up 5 with 4 minutes to go in the 3rd quarter, but for the a 2nd straight time I think the Celtics just might win this 1. (Now, you try writing a sentence using 5-4-3-2-1 in that order. Prove to me that you aren't Mill-iterate!)

11:07 - For more word play, L-A-M-A-R--O-D-O-M can be rearranged to spell DOOM ALARM. With a name like DOOM ALARM, did the Lakers even have a chance?

11:10 - In case you were wondering what P-A-U-L--P-I-E-R-C-E can spell....it's "PURE ICE, PAL."

11:24 - How did Luke Walton not grow up to be a 7-footer like his Dad? If only America believed in breeding NBA players like they do in China...

11:27 - Sam Cassell is actually knocking down some shots! Somewhere in Outer Space...they are chanting "MVP, MVP, MVP!"

11:31 - Celts are down 7 with 6:14 left in the game. My requirements for a successful comeback are...you gotta be within 6 points with 4 minutes left.

11:38 - Well, the C's have tied the game with 4:25 left in the game so they can definitely steal this game.

11:41 - Pierce and KG each have 5 fouls with 3:31 left in the game...I'm gonna predict that this game goes into overtime...and look for a Ray Allen game winner.

11:44 - Commentator Mike Breen just used the phrase "house of fire." I wonder if he would say "House on fire" if Eddie House hits a couple of 3s.

11:47 - FYI, Jeff Van Gundy has a man-crush on James Posey.

11:50 - KG just missed a pair of free throws that would have tied the game...I guess Red Auerbach doesn't actually tip free throws in like it was reported in Game 7 of the Cleveland Series. By the way...after Game 4 when Paul Pierce pointed to the sky, was he referencing God or Red Auerbach?

11:54 - There's 1:14 left and Tony Allen checks in...what is Doc thinking? I don't know who I'd rather see right now....Tony Allen or the Bald Black Guy from the annoying GMC commercials...

11:55 - Lakers up 4 with 37 seconds left. Celtics might mail it in...

11:57 - RayRay misses and gives the Lakers possession with 26 ticks left. But Fisher is choking at the free throw line, so this game isn't over yet.

12:00 - Lakers up 5 with 24.8 seconds left. If I'm the coach...I want James Posey shooting this 3.

12:02 - Well, Ray Allen just fouled out with 16.7 seconds left. Forget about the Ray Allen game winner. Looks like Kobe's defensive move in which he caresses the left hip of Paul Pierce from behind will be the difference.

12:05 - House hits a 3 and almost steals the inbounds pass! Shades of Reggie Miller....but the fact that it didn't work out that way....just show you how special Reggie was.

12:06 - It's over. Final Score: Lakers-103, Celtics-98, Scal-0. Whoever sings the National Anthem on Tuesday better do a good job...

Friday 5/30 Weekend Millings

Daily MillStar: A MillCredit goes to one of my fave 5 NBA players of all time, Vlade Divac. With the news of the NBA penalizing floppers starting next season, the Yugoslavian will go down in NBA history as the greatest flopper of all time (in my opinion at least). He wasn't called "the Trout" for nothing.

Daily MillDud: A MillDud goes to Clayton Holmes Grissom better known to us as "The Invisible" Clay Aiken. In August, Aiken will father a child...but just when I thought he might finally prove to us he's not gay...it turns out he merely donated his sperm and didn't put it there himself.

MillBoard Charts Song of the Day: On my drive home home today, I waited out the traffic by listening to some Black People music. One of the most intellectually stimulating songs I heard was "She Got It" by 2 Pistols featuring T-Pain. Monday's MillStar Award is yours if you can correctly count the number of times "She Got It" is said including the echoes.

Milligan: When I was in 11th Grade, a girl called me up at home and asked if I would go to the Junior Prom with her. I remember my mom picked up the phone and told me it was a girl. For some reason, the thought of having to my parents I was going to prom scared me...so I told the girl I wasn't going to go...while using really vague language because my parents were listening to my end of the conversation. In retrospect, I think I would have gone if I liked the girl who asked me. But for the sake of "the cycle," I probably should have said "yes" and gone to the prom anyway. (See the MillBox for more on "the cycle").

MillBox:
Question: So if a guy that I don't like romantically asks me out, shouldn't I just say "no" so he doesn't get the wrong idea? ~Inexperienced Girl, Virginia
Miller: If he has no criminal record, you MUST say "yes!" There is no way around it. If you say "no," you will shatter his confidence and he may never be able to ask another girl out. By saying "no" to him, you are not only hurting this guy, you are also hurting girls that may be waiting for him to ask them out. By saying "no," you break the cycle. Do the right thing, ladies; accept the free dinner for the sake of your fellow woman.

Millage People Shout-out: Mad props to Tony Allen, who finally did something positive. By aggravating his old injury in practice, he has opened up a roster spot for the Boston Celtics to have a Token White Guy on their roster. Looking at the racial distribution of both Eastern Conference Finals Rosters, Brian Scalabrine proves that "There Can Only Be One."

Friday 5/23 Commencement Millings

Millting Points: Brown University Class of 2008 Thoughts:

• Four years already? That was fast...I can't even remember Joses's junior year.
• 135 Lloyd: How long before the MillBoard Charts Song of the Day is Flo Rida?
  
• Who's the baccalaureate speaker? Was Claire Huxtable booked this weekend?
• Famous parents tracking: Chris Berman and Dustin Hoffman return!
  
• The two-time Couple of the Year, Herman Hsu and Ling Phoun, are moving on. Which pair will take the title next year?
  

Daily MillStar: A MillCredit goes to my landlord Phil McMaster, who drove Nick to the airport yesterday. Besides that, Phil always tells it like it is and even wishes you luck when you go to parties (...whatever that means).

Daily MillDud: This Commencement MillDud goes to Brown Women (meaning females at Brown and not the hot latinas out there that didn't go to Brown). How in the world are you gonna let Jimmy and Joses go home single?

MillBoard Charts Song of the Day: In honor of the Class of 2008, the song of the day is "Leave the Memories Alone" by Fuel. Even though the repetition of the words "You'll Never Change" is contrary to the spirit of graduating, the song is just too catchy to not be the anthem of this year's graduating classes. This song also served as the retirement anthem for famed professional wrestler Ric Flair.

Milligan: When I was in Kindergarten, I cheated on a test for the very first time. And can you believe that I actually got caught?!? It turns out that I cheated off of some one who would eventually stay back in Kindergarten...bad move. (Disclaimer for the kids out there: Not only is cheating morally wrong...it's also not a fool-proof system...especially if you cheat off fools.)

MillBox:
Question: I know I let you down in Game 1, so I scored 25 points last night. Do you forgive me? ~Walter Ray Allen, Waltham, MA
Miller: Well, RayRay...you didn't win, but I forgive you. I was finally warming up to the idea of never winning on the road to prove everyone wrong, but I'm gonna agree with some of the NBA analysts who say "Maybe losing one at home will finally motivate them to win on the road."

Joses Lucas Ho's HoBag:
Question: Lucas, it must be tough being Joses's identical twin. What do you think of his topless photos on facebook? Do you ever get upset that he's not only flaunting his own body but also an exact replica of your body?
Lucas: What makes you think that my body is as flabby as his?

Jimmy Tull's TuleBag:
Question: What's the stupidest thing you've done in college?
Jimmy: I mean...realistically...it's probably the patented Jimmy Tull "Oh you thought we were dating for the past couple of weeks...not anymore...cuz I'm just gonna ignore you." It's been done three times. Remember 2004?

Millage People Shout-out: I want to give a quick shout out to my Grandpa, who as of Monday morning, is in heaven. Though he had many hopes for me, my only hope for him was that he would indeed go to heaven one day. Of his 89 years on Earth, it took him about 82 before he smartened up and reconciled with God. Since eternal life, by definition, is "knowing the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom He sent," my Grandpa is already moving on to his 8th year of eternal life...but now the suffering is gone.

Wednesday 5/21 Very NBA Heavy Millings

Millting Points: Assorted NBA stuff:

• Celtics won it fairly easily...maybe I should have picked them to win in 5.
• The Allens: Ray didn't score 20, but Tony did get some playing time.
  
• Western Conference Finals Prediction: Lakers in 7.
• How in the world did the Bulls win the Draft Lottery! I think they should take hometown boy Derrick Rose and propose a Hinrich, Deng, Gooden, Noah trade for Carmelo and Camby.
  

Daily MillStar: A MillCredit goes to Jeff Van Gundy. I love his commentary...he's the anti-Doris Burke. He has the best idea for an NBA rule change I've ever heard: a made half court shot immediately ties the game.

Daily MillDud: Today's MillDud goes to Mike D'Antoni for choosing the Knicks over the Bulls. Sure, the money was better...but think about having the Derrick Rose instead of Stephon Marbury as your team's best point guard. A second MillDud goes to Kirk Hinrich, who all of sudden, lost his job to a ping pong ball.

MillBoard Charts Song of the Day: The song of the day is "Jamie Smiles" from the movie Just Friends. This movie is a must-see if you've ever been caught in the friend zone...it could be painful to watch, though, if you can relate to the main character's plight.

Milligan: If I could go back in time, I would be sure to go to a Celtics game in the old Boston Garden. I've been to the new Garden/Fleetcenter many a time; however, I've only been to the original Boston Garden for Disney on Ice's production of Peter Pan. I did wear a green hat that day...but I was a little embarrassed that it had a feather in it.

MillBox:
Question: How do you come up with all of these "Mill" words?
Miller: One day, I looked up the letter M in the Encyclopedia and looked for all the Mill words I could use for a future blog project. You'd be surprised what other words are just waiting to be unleashed such as Mill-itant, Milldew, Millshake, Mill-imeter, Milliteracy, Millnourished, Millegitamate, Mill-asia (like Malaysia), Millanoma, Millody, Millodrama, and Millegal Aliens.

Joses Ho's HoBag:
Question: Joses, imagine being on your dream date...what are you wearing?
Joses: Nothing.

Millage People Shout-out: Mad props to ESPN360.com for allowing me to enjoy the Celtics Game.

Tuesday 5/20 Millings

Millting Points: My Predictions for the NBA Eastern Conference Finals:

• Celtics in 7. They will be the first NBA champs to never win a road playoff game.
  
• Ray Allen will score 20 points in Game 1.
• Tony Allen will get some playing time and make a bonehead play.
• If Violet Palmer refs a game in this series, the Celtics will lose that game.
  

Daily MillStar: The first MillCredit goes to the return of the Daily Millings. We're Back!!! The new format is very quick and witty without giant text blocks...it's much more conducive for putting the "daily" into the Daily Millings.

Daily MillDud: A MillDud goes to the college minister at Citylife Presbyterian Church because it took him a whole semester to talk to Joses and me even though we always sit a row behind him in service. Coincidentally, he noticed us the only week in which there wasn't a Korean guy sitting directly behind him giving him backrubs.

Millustration (A Simile to Scratch your Skull): David Archuletta is like Clay Aiken. Archie will ALSO finish as American Idol runner-up because the girls ALSO think he's really cute..but when his moment of glory fades, people will ALSO wonder if he's gay. The only difference? ...one of them is Mormon and one of them is Invisible.

MillBoard Charts Song of the Day: In honor of Simon Cowell, I've decided to choose "Bleeding Love" as the Song of the Day. HOWEVER, I'm going to choose the Jesse McCartney version over the much more popular (and better) Leona Lewis version! Jesse co-wrote this song with OneRepublic frontman and missionary kid Ryan Tedder. Sure, Jesse sings the song like a wimpy hemophiliac, but still, let's give the man some props.

Milligan (Something I would do over): In 7th grade, I got a detention for doing a series of X-Pac kicks on a kid in gym class. I haven't seen the kid since 8th grade, but boy would I love to apologize to him.

MillBox:
Question: What do you think of my no-hitter last night? ~Jonathan Lester, Boston MA
Miller: It was incredible. You may walk an awful lot of guys, but last night you showed the world that chemotherapy might be a better performance-enhancer than steroids. Kids everywhere should be standing in front of the microwave hoping to put a little bit more zip on their fastball.

Joses Ho's HoBag:
Question: Joses, since you're an expert in romance...how would you approach a beauty queen? ~Pathetic in Providence
Joses: This one's easy. I would go on youtube and watch clips of her pageants...get to know her a bit. That should be enough to get you through a date.

Millage People Shout-out: Mad props to Didier for almost making dreams come true. (See previous item).