5/23 Monday MillBox

After a 3 year hiatus....the Daily Millings are back again!!!  This time around, each day of the week will have a different gimmick that is inspired by alliteration (hence, Monday MillBox).  Every Monday, I'll be answering questions submitted by my loyal readers.  If you have a question you want to be answered by the next Monday, just leave it in the comments section below and check back on Monday for an answer!

Now let's get to this week's MillBox...

Q: Now that you have the benefit of hindsight, tell us who was better: backstreet boys or *nsync? -- Nick Lachey (98 degrees)

A: Well Nick, I don't need hindsight for this one.  My answer back then is the same as my answer right now.  The Backstreet Boys were totally better.  If this is merely a question of which group had the single most talented player, I might answer otherwise, BUT if you're talking group...it's gotta be BSB.  Each member got a solo in their biggest hit "I Want It That Way" and even the one that had the least solos seemed really musically competent by actually playing the piano in some of their later songs.  Can *nsync boast the same overall talent?  No Way!  Justin Timberlake just hosted SNL a few nights ago and joked that he couldn't even remember Chris Kirkpatrick's name!  BTW, I get the feeling that those *nsync guys weren't really friends in real life.  BSB, on the other hand, are still going strong as a group.  Meanwhile, Chris Kirkpatrick entered obscurity once he ignored the teachings of Samson, Lance Bass is best known for being a gay astronaut, JC Chasez appeared on a bad reality show, and Joey Fatone's last name still spells FAT ONE.  BSB 4 life!!!

In case you wanted to know, Nick...I can pretty confidently say that your 98 degrees weren't even close to those 2 groups.  That was not the "hardest thing I've ever had to do" and I do not wanna "give you just one night, una noche."  ....although for some reason I will say that "with you, I can let my hair down; I can say anything crazy, etc etc etc"

Q: Dear Miller, am I in trouble? -- Arnold (Sacramento, CA)

A: Oh Arnold.  I'd say so.  Not only did you get caught for cheating on your wife, BUT you did it with an old abuelita-looking maid, who probably only wanted to extort your money by bearing you more Austr-spring (Austrian + offspring)....Also....all your movie titles can easily been turned into headline puns!


Arnold's Marriage Terminated!


True Lies...exposed!


Kindergarten Cop-ping a feel??? (Okay that one needs work...)

Q: Any thoughts on the death of wrestling icon Macho Man Randy Savage? -- Slim Jim (Florida)

A: First off, he was definitely a top 5 wrestler in the '80s.  He might not be as well known as Hulk Hogan, BUT he was way better at the actual wrestling and almost on par with Hogan as far as charisma goes.  But, on the other hand, he was a really crazy dude, who did questionable things in his personal life that aren't worthy of praise....


My biggest beef with him, though, is...false advertising.  I have never once "snapped" into a Slim Jim.  I always expected the huge crunching sound that was advertised in the commercials...but it never happened.  Slim Jims were overrated, but give Savage credit for always making me believe that my next one might finally give me that satisfying snapping sound.  OHHHHH YEAHHHHHHH! Dig it!

Q: When I told young impressionable Christians about how "I kissed dating goodbye," did I ruin everything for them? Did I force them to kiss dating goodbye, too? -- J. Harris (Maryland)

A: You sure did, man.  You implied that dating was wrong and that courtship was the way to go.  I understand that people should be entering relationships with the intention to marry, BUT I think you made our generation scared to go out on dates with people they didn't see as wife-able or husband-able.  But, ask happily married couples around you....did they think so highly of their spouse when they first met them?  Seeing how someone acts in a group OR from far away OR from their social networking site is NOT an accurate portrayal of how they might really be like.  Just saying, perhaps you should go out on a few dates with someone before you decide whether you want to borrow half of their genetics for your spawn.

Q: Hey Miller, what do you think is the greatest invention of the last century? -- Joe (Providence, RI)

A: Hands down, I'd hafta say the electric mosquito racket.  No offense to the automobile, the airplane, or the computer, BUT this one's not even close.


Thanks for the questions.  Remember to submit questions for next week's MillBox in the comments section below!