6/3 Friday Friendzone: Social Snafus

Hey! Guess where you are?


That's right!  You're in MY Friendzone!  This week's topic is social snafus and etiquette featuring my friends: Scott, Angrygirl, melonhead, thetotoromonster, and Joses.  Let's see what they had to say about some of the social boo-boos we cannot find nearly enough band-aids for:

1. Which is worse: taking a phone call at dinner OR taking a phone call in the library?

Scott: Who actually studies in libraries anymore?  What kids call "studying" these days means spending half their time checking facebook or reading blogs.  Therefore, if you take a phone call in the library most of the people wouldn't even notice because they're too busy being amused by dailymillings.blogspot.com.  See what I did there?  Also, I like being able to take a phone call at dinner as a way to take a quick break from the exhausting social situation of having dinner with people you're not totally comfortable around.

Angrygirl: Chingchonglinglongtingtong? Setting aside my major issues with that UCLA chick, I agree that phone calls in the library are way worse. At dinner, it's slightly rude but more forgivable, especially if you aren't affecting the dynamic of your dinner companions, or you need to help someone find their way to the dinner, etc. But talking in the library is extremely rude, multiplied by fifty six billion when you are in the quiet zone of the library. Is it REALLY so important to coordinate with your bro on what's going down tonight that you have to broadcast your conversation to everyone who came to this place FOR QUIET? I am left with three choices: suffer in silence, glare and sigh loudly, or confront you in pseudo politeness. Make everyone's life easier and try this fancy new thing called texting. It's silent AND you can communicate!

melonhead: library. libraries are meant to be quiet. at dinner, you can easily excuse yourself for a sec and tell the person on the phone that you'll call 'em back later. or you can do what i do, and jus ignore the call. crappy cell phone reception is always a good excuse.

thetotoromonster: Taking a phone call at dinner, because dinner is quality time spent with others.  When you leave to answer a phone call, you will miss out on hanging out with your dinnermates.  Although the library is quiet, you can just walk elsewhere and you're not really leaving anybody behind.

Joses: Taking a phone call at dinner is worse. But if it's a terribly boring dinner that you want to get out of, take the call!

2. Which is worse: Talking on the phone while peeing OR texting while pooing?

Scott: I always get a sneaky sense of exhilaration from peeing while on the phone and curiously waiting to find out if the person on the other end notices.  They never do.  It's my little secret and no one will ever know!  Next time I call you, it's best to just assume that I'm urinating.

Angrygirl: Phones should not be in the bathroom, ever. I don't really enjoy hearing streams of urine in the background of our conversation, nor do I want to know that poo particles are potentially dancing on your Blackberry buttons. (There's a reason why the magazines being read in the bathroom are left in there-- because it would be gross to bring them outside and let it infect non-poo-contaminated surfaces. Same logic applies to phones). Also, I have a friend who broke her Blackberry by accidentally dropping it in the toilet. It's just not worth the risk. 

melonhead: ooo this is a toughie. texting is gross b/c you're actively touching your phone. which almost makes me say that talking on the phone is better b/c you can use a headset, to keep your phone free of potty-germs, but either way, the phone is in the bathroom ... so the lesser of two evils would be texting (why would you want to let someone hear you tinkling in the background?)

thetotoromonster: Talking while peeing, because other people will hear you wee-wee.

Joses: This is perhaps the only gender-biased question. It's a logistical and technical nightmare for guys to talk on the phone while peeing. Unless 1) you have a Bluetooth hands-free headset, which in this day and age means you're a dork, or 2) girls do pee standing up (now there's another question....). Otherwise, if you're a girl, it's basically the same thing. Just make sure your toilet sounds aren't audible. 

3. Is it okay to pick your nose during prayer in a church service?

Scott: Yes.  What's so bad about wanting to breathe out of your nostrils better?  If anyone sees you, then you can chide them for not being prayerful enough to have kept their eyes closed, or at least have their heads bowed.  I usually feel bad when, in the middle of prayer, I open my eyes and look around the room and notice some dude just blankly staring at the corner of the room, and then when we meet eyes it's like, man, I wanna accuse this guy of being disingenuous but that would be calling the kettle black, wouldn't it?  It's the Catch-22 of prayer slackers.

Angrygirl: No. You should be praying and focusing on talking to God. Picking your nose can wait. Plus, just because no one in church is watching doesn't mean God isn't....

melonhead: is it ever okay to pick your nose? no, not really. unless for some reason blowing your nose simply isn't cutting it (ie: your nose is too crusty), and you're en route to washing your hands immediately after.  and besides, some people (ie: me) sometimes pray w/ their eyes open.

thetotoromonster: I suppose it's all right but not recommended.  Maybe you won't be paying attention if you're picking your nose, and if somebody catches you, he/she might stop paying attention too.  Wait until later?

Joses: If you're Korean, yes. No one will notice in that frenzy of simultaneous non-silent prayer we call Korean Prayer.

4. In the hot summer months, what is the least ACCEPTABLE amount of clothing you should wear in the comforts of your own home?

Scott: I like the feeling of laying spread eagle on my sheets, naked as the day I was born, as a fan softly protects my body from the stifling summer humidity.  I guess the only reason why I wouldn't advocate home nudity is because of tinea cruris.  Look it up.  (Yeah, it'll be another 4 months before I pull another random factoid from my short-lived medical career)

Angrygirl: Doesn't matter how hot it is, what you wear at home should be okay to wear outside. So... shorts and shirt (along with underwear-- that should go without saying). I don't think taking off one thin layer really makes a difference. Just turn on the AC, blast the fan, or stick your head in the freezer.

melonhead: the way i see it is if you're by yourself at home, why not go commando? but like the first rule of nudism, always carry a towel!  personally though, i enjoy the security of feeling clothing against my skin, so i'm an advocate of minimal clothing during the summer at home: guys in shorts (but not the super short kind), and girls in soffes & spaghetti straps.

thetotoromonster: If you're in your home, how much clothing you wear isn't toosocial/public - but more private - so I think this depends on your living situation.  If I were walking around at my house in California (a.k.a. living with other people/my parents), I would at least wear a tank top and shorts, but when I was walking around my Keeney single last summer (a.k.a. living alone), I wore less.  In my apartment, it'll be back to the "living with others" rule.  Important note: it really matters how much other people see you wear.  Close the shades; also, put on clothes if you're answering the door.

Joses: As little as you are willing to be photographed in.

5. Which is the worse first date movie choice: Juno or Passion of the Christ?

Scott: At least with "Juno" you can transition into asking fun, if far-fetched questions that have some informative value--like, "What would you do if you had an unplanned pregnancy?"  "What do you fear most about pregnancy?"  "Is there a stupider term for friend than 'home slice'?"  Try getting a transition like that out of The Passion.  But on the other hand, maybe the girl will think you're SO sensitive and spiritual if she's sees you crying.  That seems to work all the time on Christian girls, they love that "sensitive" emo type.  But when you tear up you gotta make it look artful.  None of that shaky, moany, haphazardly suck-in-the-air theatrics, you need just the right amount of emasculation.

Angrygirl: I haven't watched Passion of the Christ, but I think it might be good to gauge how a potential significant other reacts to intense emotion, how high/low their violence threshold is, and how willing they are to take a risk and watch a movie that is reputed to be very intense. The only thing that makes Juno inappropriate is the teen pregnancy theme but otherwise it's fairly predictable in a off-beat indie kinda way. At least with Passion of the Christ you'll have lots to talk about...?

melonhead: juno. all i remember about it is that some teenager gets knocked up & then falls for some old guy?!  at least if you watch passion of the christ you guys can delve into deep, theological discussions and see if ya'll agree on the importance & validity of the Gospel. and ... he could potentially win her over by telling her how his love for her is like jesus' love for the church, b/c he's willing to lay down his life for her - yknow, by being mocked, beaten, tortured, humiliated, & crucified. or he might just really creep her out & lose any chance w/ her.

thetotoromonster: I haven't seen Passion of the Christ yet.  Actually, Ryan and I were planning to watch it together, so I can let you know how that date goes in comparison to watching Juno.  I don't really like Juno though.

Joses: If you're on a first date with Ellen Page, Juno is the biggest movie choice mistake you'll ever make. You're reminding her of her Oscar nomination for Best Actress, but she lost that prize to Marion Cotillard, her Inception co-star. (Which also eliminates Inception as another first date movie choice for you and Ellen.) An appropriate first date movie for you and Ellen would be Whip It.

If you're taking Monica Belluci out instead, Passion of the Christ is perfect, because a good part of Monica's film career is pretty erotically charged and wholly unsuitable for a first date.  (Although maybe the Passion is too. Andy Samberg and the Lonely Island crew thought so.) Another good first-date choice with Monica would be Astérix & Obélix: Mission Cléopâtre.

If, unlike me, you don't date Hollywood stars, Passion of the Christ is worse. Always go for the humorous movie. 

About the Panelists: Scott Yi is a seminary student and the author of sacredraisincakes.com.  His dream is to go the Special Olympics and boo all the contestants.  Which I guess means his dream is to crush other people's dreams. / Angrygirl is a DC yuppie. / melonhead is a sleep-deprived medical student with a cold, who is still achy from moving into her new apartment and is ecstatic that summer vacation is only one exam & less than 24 hours away. / thetotoromonster is a boring person who likes to take pictures of food, boyfriend, and squirrels. you can read more about her boring life and see more pictures of squirrels at yourveryownsvi.tumblr.com. / Joses Ho is working towards a DPhil in neuroscience. Likes to read his Bible highly caffeinated and slightly intoxicated.